"Why did you lie to them?"

"They worry about me enough as it is, I don’t want them to worry more. I was always a little fucked up, but they never understood why, hell I don’t even understand why."

"Well tell me about it then."

God she is just so easy to talk to.

"Alright, when I was fifteen, I ….

When I was fifteen, I had this friend who ended up turning my entire world upside down. We met at (of all things) a church group. We hit it off immediately, plus we went to the same high school. We were inseparable for three months. Anything she did I was with her and vice versa. I had a boyfriend at the time, we had been seeing each other for almost a year. But slowly I realized I had more than just friendly feelings for her. Now I always knew I found women attractive, but I had never felt anything like this before. After agonizing over whether or not she felt the same way I just bit the bullet and said that I found her sexually attractive. I thought I would scare her away, I thought she would never want to speak to me again. Well I was wrong. She taught what first love, possibly true love felt like.

We had decided that we would act on the attraction. The first time we kissed, I had never felt anything like that before, painfully pleasurable. I wasn’t new to sex in general, with woman yes I had no fucking idea what I was doing, but she had never kissed before let alone anything else. Our first night together, was like no other sexual experience I had, even to today I would have to say that is still my most favorite night. We never actually made it past foreplay though. When we woke up in the morning we were two different people. We had both experienced pleasures of the flesh, and there was no turning back. After that night we promised, that no matter what, we would be together. Now I realize that fifteen and sixteen is very young to promise forever but it felt so right.

For the next month, we kept "us" a secret, we even went as far as to sign notes with our initials jumbled together. But we waited to have sex, I was ready but she wasn’t. Finally, she said she was ready, she was ready for us, completely. We decided that the night of her seventeenth birthday would be the night.