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A Life I Never Meant Chapter Twenty
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Tina’s in my kitchen making some coffee. There’s a far way look in her eye that I’ve only seen once before. Two days after she left Bette when, in the middle of the night, she suddenly had this realisation of what that actually meant. I don’t think that she looked at me for about three days afterwards. She just looked into the middle distance and gave one word answers to anything that I asked her.
As for me, I just keep telling myself that it can’t be true. I spent last night prowling around Ally’s apartment. Walking from the living room to the kitchen and back again. I didn’t care if I never slept again, and even now I don’t feel tired. I just want to stay awake because I feel that if I lie down all I’ll do is think about all the things that I should have done, all the things that could have been different. All the things that wouldn’t have led to me being on the other side of the country to my friend, who I will now never see again.
I watch as Tina comes out of the kitchen, two steaming cups of coffee in her hand. She sits down besides me and starts to speak. When nothing comes out, she looks at me, as if to say that nothing can put into words what she is feeling right now. She looks away briefly and then begins again.
“I got something in the mail today.” she starts quietly.
“Please don’t say what I think your going to say.”
“She wrote it on the day that I flew back here, after she had seen Carmen. There was this tiny glimpse of hope there, like she might have a chance at getting back the one thing that she always regretted letting go.”
“Don’t Tina.” I reply, focusing hard on controlling the pain that I can feel course through me.
“She gave me a lot to think about.”
“Did she give you a hard time for leaving?”
“No, she gave me a hard time for leaving without getting anything sorted out.”
“You always were one for the details.” I say, shaking my head at Tina lesson in semantics.
“We fought, the last time we spoke. She said that I had no idea what it was like to have to pick Bette up, night after night, after I left. How coming here was the easy option.”
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You write these ladies so well that it would just break my heart to see T&B not end up together… I do love Ally, but… well… T&B belong to each other, in my book. Anyway, either way, this is so good and so painful. Ugh. Just love it.
Wow, another stunning emotion packed chapter, and I can sense there is so much more on the way, which personally, I can’t wait to read. Excellant.
I think that Tina is just going to have to let Ally down gently and be with Bette. Heck..maybe Alice and Ally can hook up. I must say this is one of my favorite stories at the moment and I can’t get enough..please post soon.
Techgal that story broke my heart. It was the 1st story I read where they DIDN’T end up together, and it hurt my feelings. I was like who would write a story where they aren’t together…I was new to the fan fiction site and a silent reader and I was shocked, and that story has stayed with me like I said and has haunted me. Now 1/2 of the stories got them going at each others throats it’s old hat now….lol But I am addicted to these stories the good, the bad and the ugly.
I’m happy that Tina is going by herself!! Yay!!! :)
that was sad and brilliant.i’m a tibette fan, so i know what i want tina to do
Girl, you’ve put an awful lot on Tina’s plate. Of course if she’d ever once stopped running and taken a look at herself in all those years, the burden might not be so great now. She has a lot to sort through, and little time to do it. Grief on top of confusion added to fear. Man, and I thought I had a bad couple of weeks.
There is only Tina and Bette in my world, I hope yours too!
CityGirl…You’re doing a great job w/this story. I think you’ve created quite a dilemma for yourself as the author. What to do about B & T? Maybe you’ve already sorted it out. Sometimes I think so when reading but other times in the same chapter, I’m not convinced. I want B & T together b/c I’m a huge TiBetter (selfish reasons). Truly loving someone is forgiving the unforgivable. You’ve made Ally very likable and caring so it will be difficult removing her from the picture but c’est la vie. Besides, Ally wouldn’t want to be runner up in Tina’s mind. Always wondering if Tina loves her truly, madly, deeply. OK, I’m off my soapbox. Looking forward to your next chapter where B & T meet?
all i can say is : Mary MacGregor – Torn Between Two Lovers : .
i will just get sick to my stomach if you don’t put B and T back together 4ever so maybe i best stop reading now
CG, there is no dilemma as far as I’m concerned. It should be Ally-T all the way not that it’s particulary my favorite couple but anyone to take Tina away from Bette is good in my book! So I guess it’s best I’m not writing the story..lol…anyways, that ally is a tough cookie and patient. I don’t know too many people who would put up with Tina’s baggage for that long.
Whoever Tina moves forward with there is going to be a very heartbroken woman left behind, Tina is in such a state of confusion at the moment, Tina has to make peace with her past with Bette if she can move forward with her life with Bette then so be it but if Tina’s life is with Ally, I hope that she loves Ally completly no holding back and I wish for Bette to move on with her life too and to fall in love, I just want these women to be happy and in love with whoever they end up with. This was a wonderful and sad chapter CG looking forward to reading more.
It should be B&T because then Ally can move on and eventually be with me. ;)
This is an amazing story. All the dilemmas and things to be sort out are incredibly true and fit amazingly in the girls relationships. looking forward to T&B meeting.
While alice is still in New York, let Ally ‘comfort’ her *wink wink*. Then B&T can be together forever and everyone has someone :). Beautiful chapter.
Wow…this story is awesome. Tina has some decisions to make. I am a Tibetter so you already know what I want. It’s sad they went this long without talking, this was unnecessary anguish for so long. Ally seems like a good woman so I am sure she will find love. There was this other story on fan fiction awhile back when Tina left Bette for this girl named Dani I think, and that story continues to haunt me cause it was so final so real so raw….please don’t haunt me with this story, bring the ladies back together.
please get t&b back together
i am a tibette fan but i don’t really see in this story that bette ends up with tina.. but please make bette happy.. great chap..
jeez this is a tear jerker and the bad part hasnt even began!!
What an emotional and moving chapter! I really like the way you write from the different characters’ perspectives. Though many would disagree, it’s not so much who ends up with whom, it’s the powerful way you’re telling the story that makes it so compelling. Thanks for writing!
i know if tina chose bette now it might be from pity and sadness, she really needs to chose her if she still loves her because bette still loves her….i know that tina choses ally my heart will be breaking even though ally is a good person…maybe ally and alice can get it on
I won’t vote either on who I want Tina to end up with (Bette…Bette…Bette.) LOL I am as curious as the next though as to where Tina goes from here. On one hand she says she is in love with Ally, yet in the same conversation admits she has never stopped loving Bette, and wonders to Alice what happens if she and Bette work things out. Not a place I would want to be. I too am afraid you are going to break my already fragile TiBette heart, so am reading this story with one eye closed! Thanks!
I’m really enjoying the story. I’m not voting on who Tina should end up with because I’m just curious as to where you will lead is in this story.
I totally agree with ‘yoda’ on this one. Tina and Bette are each other’s salvation. They’ve known it from the moment they first met. If Tina decides to be with Ally she will always have settled for ‘second best.’ Even Ally knows that. I love the way you write CG!
Wow.. emotional. Great writing, girl! Thanks! I think eventually B&T are meant to be together. Even though Ally is a good person, she will never be the love of Tina’s life … So let’s see how this proceeds … ^_^
Skycaptain, that Dani/Tina fic is “Restoration” by Pikagirl. …Here’s the ending: …I place the tea-cup as quietly as possible onto her bedside table. Her closed eyelids flutter almost imperceptibly. I strongly suspect she is usually awake, actually; but I very much appreciate her pretending to be asleep. Tina has impeccable manners. After all, I promised, so many years ago, that I would always try to make sure she woke up with me…and I do try.I slide my body into bed. She stretches her amazingly warm and welcoming body next to mine. There is no heaven quite like this heaven.***She’s so quiet, she’s always so thoughtful, the way she slides that tea-cup onto my bedside table, and then slips around to wake me (she thinks) gently from my slumber…ooh..so sweet. Isn’t that love? Isn’t that just the epitome of love? This is the woman who has restored my faith not only in her, but in mankind. In love. In everything. I stretch my body out to meet hers.There is no heaven like this heaven. …It was a classic! I highly recommend it to all!
And then there were three…Bette has Kit and…maybe Bette needs to expand her circle, find someone else to love so that she isn’t alone. Past time to move on? I’m looking forward to their meeting in L.A. Thanks!
I’m looking forward to see what will happen in LA and where you’re taking this story.
This is an amazing story. Glad that Ally is not going, they need to deal with all of their stuff. I think you might need to make room for another award. Thanks for taking the time.
Hey C-Gal, Great to have Alice and Tina share so much. This is a time were friends are family and want to care and support each other. God to see that Tina is now ready to face Bette and sort out their past. Her feelings are starting to rise like magma to the crust and once they break through their will overflow and a much wanted reunion with Bette wll follow I hope. I don’t want Ally hurt but Bette is Tina’s first love and I want to see that re-established and growing for the future. Pity is that it has taken Shane’s death to bring this all about. Wonderful writing. More please, Your Loyal Fan.
Make Tina and Bette together, please. What a story!
my god, this is heart wrenching every one in pain over the loss and pain over the losses not dealt with – you are writing it brilliantly. And I don’t have an opinion about who Tina should pick cause I don’t think you have really told us yet what is in her heart and head except for fear and now grief. Can hardly wait for the next chapter and the next…
So SO sad, I do hope that Bette & Tina get back together