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A Life I Never Meant Chapter Twenty Three
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It’s a long time since I have been in LA so I’m looking out the window of the taxi taking in everything that’s happening. Alice is sat beside me, unusually quiet. For her this is very different, to be back again so soon and for the reason that brings us both here. It’s almost unbearably hard for her. I look at her and she smiles back, but the smile doesn’t reach her eyes.
Our first destination is the hotel that Tina is staying in, then Alice is going to stay with Bette. To be honest there is still something that makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable about being here. I know that Tina’s wants me, even needs me to be here but…the three of us in a room together. Even in the best of circumstances it sounds like a bad idea, but in these circumstances it could destructive. I must have gone slightly pale at the thought of this because Alice has snapped out of her daydream and is looking at me in an inquisitive way.
“All the colour just drained from your face, which means that you can only be thinking about one thing.”
“Oh yeah, what would that be?”
“Bette, or more specifically what’s going to happen when you all get to meet.” says Alice, a tiny grin appearing on her face.
“Only you could find the thought of that entertaining.”
“Please, it was the only thing that got me here.”
“Sometimes I really do wonder about you.” I laugh, shaking my head at Alice’s grim sense of humour.
“Well, look at this way. You’re going to meet at the funeral, because I would presume that Tina is going to make you go. Bette’s not going to do anything to upset anyone while there are other people around. That’s not the way that she is.”
“She’s grieving, people don’t act in the way that they would do normally, and I just feel like I’m making it worse for her by being here.”
“Why do you care so much about someone you’ve never met?” Alice asks, intrigued.
“Because…I can’t shake the feeling that I’m walking into a whole world of heartbreak.”
“But you know that Tina loves you.”
“Yeah, that might be true but it might not be enough.” I reply, sadly.
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I am at a lost for words…this can go either way still. I can’t take this….please post again soon. Your writing is awesome if I haven’t said it before.
ally is a nice person, but for tina to still be so unsure for so long… it is also going to be bette (okay, so i hope it is!). i will say, however, that ally did pick a really bad time to push tina on the issue… she isn’t going though enough? maybe an ally alice hookup would be better! or maybe i am just too much of bettina fan!
dalloway where were you when I was being given the 3rd degree on the story “what time reveals?” The Belena’s and the Helebette’s had me surrounded.
Reading the story makes me suffer by now, but reading your comments really lightened my mood, haha. Oh f*** that, she can have her (for the record, you should know it’s from Bette, not me, in case the one ep you saw is not 312. :P). Can one have two ppl each of whom means the whole world to them? If not, then I guess Tina should give Bette a decent dismission, a complete over.
Ya know. I get there is a lot of emotions. I see the build up. I guess what irks me is that Bette really has no one to hold her, becasue TIna wouldn’t allow it and did I miss something, or did Tina NOT tell Bette that Ally was coming into town??
OH MY GOD! this is tearing me apart, Ally is sooo nice, but I think she knows in her heart she is losing this fight, I think Bette is going to break down in Tina’s arm at the funeral and that will be that,then Ally & Tina will have a tearful goodbye. (I SOOOO HOPE SO)
The only thing that i can say for now is that i miss Shane.
So it’s not yet clear who will get hurt, or more accurately who’ll get hurt the most. Well, I suppose since it’s LA, B,T & A may just ask “can’t we all just get along?” and jump into a threesome. But more likely someone gets badly hurt. Tina never means to hurt anybody. But how can she not? Did she need Ally in LA to have a side-by-side comparison with Bette? Tina reminds me of a Iris Murdoch book “The Nice and the Good”, about the mayhem spineless nice people cause by being indiscriminately nice and spineless.
You know, this is REALLY tough for me. everyone who knows me around here knows I’m a TiBetter through and through. However, I want to cry for Ally right now. I know what it’s like to kinda sorta but not really have someone. Wanting that committment but fearing you’ll never have it. Right now I really don’t know how I want this to end. But don’t feel like you have to rush to finish this. I’ll still be here when you get back from your trip. I’d rather wait awhile for a really good ending than have a lot thrown at me and feel it was lacking something. But hey if it’s all finished in your head and won’t take long to write and touch up, then bring it on. ;)
hi i’ve never commented before b/c ive been scared but now i feel like i need to say something. You are such a good writer CG. i mean u give us something to think about and your writing really gets deep into my heart. i have read some of your other fan fictions also and they are all so good. This story is so sad. ive been reading from the begining and was so impatient for the longest time b/c i wanted tina and bette to just see each other and talk. I do hope u put them back together b/c i am a really big fan of them also. I cant ever really tell where u are going with this story which makes it more suspensful for me to read. But everytime i do read i just get teary eyed and start to think that u are not going to bring bette and tina back together. No matter what happens i just want u to know that your writing is truly remarkable. I really hope that u bring tina and bette back together.sincerely,your fan Cutey711
this was brilliant and in a way different. seems like ally may be more ready to let tina go than she believes she is. i’ve always wondered, how does one know in a day or two where a particular relationship is headed? i suspect that tina holding back on ally for so long is a sign that she wants bette more. anyways cannot wait for the next post!
okay just came back to say wow! i just checked out the comments to ur last post. seems like i was the only one holding up a candle for tina :) i think it’s a clever ploy to get ally in the same place as bette. whatever decision tina makes, there’ll be no second guessing ( but who knows with relationships anyway!). one more thing, bette has kit as well as alice now. she surely is not alone and is not the only one devastated in this story.
This one really has me bothered. I’m not able to read between the lines and come up with an answer. There will be some major hurting going on by the end of the funeral or the end of the story. I’m happy that this is your story and I don’t have to worry about wrtiting it. YOu are doing a brilliant job of it. Post soon please.
If you are heading for (HOPEFULLY) a Tina and Bette reconciliation, please do so before watching very much more of season 3 :o)… I adore Tina, but Laurel Hollomans acting was so terrific that I found myself not really liking Ms. Kennards newly found desire for inflicting pain on both herself and Bette. Your story is beautifully written – thank you!
i think ally n alice should hook up and get bette n tina back together soon please
Citygirl, I’m begging you, begging you, do not watch season 3. Some many writers/people now hate Tina and have given up on TiBette in the aftermath of season 3. I still like Tina and have faith in TiBette. Please help me keep the dream alive :). Beautiful chapter. Someone is definitely going to have a broken heart at the end of this.
Even if you haven’t seen all of season three, i am hoping that you are a tina and bette believer! Ilene Chaiken wrote Tina a horrible story line this last season! Still holding out hope that tina and bette will find their way back to each other in your story no matter how nice Ally is. OH and i don’t really feel that tina is being all that bad to bette in your story. IN your story season 3 never happend and tina left after Bette’s affair, so if anything i can understand where tina is coming from.
CG, wonderful writing. I keep vacillating back and forth as to how this will end. I really hope it’s B & T. Ally is a good person but I truly feel that B & T are soulmates. I understand Tina wanting to feel some other than grief but I feel she’s being cowardly by asking Ally to come to LA. Is she going to compare them and their actions at the funeral? Or how she feels when they are around her? Maybe she’s going to turn them both down? :-)
Wow – I am not sure I could be as kind and giving as Ally without knowing if Tina wanted and loved me as I loved her. This chapter was incredible, I can’t say enough about how fantastic your writing is and the depth of emotion you convey in dialogue and description.
ally is a lovely person but just not for tina? and eventaually ally’s going to point T in the direction of Bette? I dunno…but Tina needs to let one of them go or both maybe? love the writing anywayz
Ally is a good egg, she really is, I like her and like her friendship with Alice. This story is just so good and compelling.
i just love your story so much!!! i’m completely torn! on one hand, i want bette and tina together b/c they are my all time favorite couple and i want bette to stop hurting! but…on the other hand, ally doesn’t deserve to be hurt and i feel so bad for her! i love how real you make the story. you don’t paint ally as the bad guy b/c she’s not – it just makes it so much harder though! ah! what to do?! since i can’t choose, i can’t wait to read how you’re going to play it out! write more soon! can’t wait!!! =) you rock! hehehe
Cheer to all English wriiters, you guys are awesome. By the way, one deep breath is not enough, let me count, I took about 2 million deep breaths to finish this chapter.
OH God..you are watching S3. Please get them back together before you get to far into it.
It’s funny, after reading this story all I can think is how incredibly lucky Tina is – she has this woman that completely and totally adores her, enough to be willing to recognize that there is this connection between Tina and Bette…one that she may not be able to break through. How I would dearly love someone to make love to me in the tender and caring way that Ally did…excellent story, one I truly look forward to reading. Nice work!
Man that hurt!!!
As you know CG, I for one am not torn! Please keep Tina’s tired ass away from Bette. She can’t even be there for her in time of need, betrayal or not, Bette is breaking and Tina can’t be there for her ..what kind of horse shit is that? Bette should look Tina in the eyes and say “I set you free and have a nice life.” I’m sorry but if TiBette has CLOSURE(not reunion) I don’t want Bette and Tina to remain friends. They can be cordial but not calling each other like best buds! Great wrting..Post soon!
I always make my comments before I read those of other readers. I wonder how many will agree with me on this: Bette and Tina are coasting on fumes. That’s the past. What Ally and Tina have is very real. I hope Tina will have the courage to step forward and embrace it. Alice is right, the best thing Tina can do for Bette is to let her go. …I know, for the story’s sake, it makes ‘good drama’ to continue the suspense, but this chapter has sold me on Tina’s future with Ally. She is a good woman. Tina is safe on shore now and Alice can come back to L.A. and help Bette heal. I love Alice and her loyalty. She needs to come to grips with the loss of Dana and Shane. She and Bette can do that together. …Good ending, right??? …I so can’t tell what you’re going to do …and, that’s (as Stuart Smalley would say)… – – O-Kay! Thanks!
I am not a perv, okay? But I think you should have been more graphic in describing the Ally/Tina sex. This is Ally’s one shot. We really need to revel in the connection. We need to see all the ways that Tina is in her soul. Care to re-edit? What would it take???? Hummmmmm???
I agree with the others, finish this before you get much further into S3. It may taint you. And enjoy the Carolinas – they are beautiful!!!! Bon Voyage!
Wow, I really hope you have a way of untangling this particularly tight tangled web of emotions, and for the life of me I still don’t know how it will turn out. Brilliantly written chapater mate.
So good. Thank you.
This is so tough to read, but the way you write is genius. I miss hearing this from Bettes view, it has been a while. Does Bette know that Ally is in town?? Post soon please….
ally is a good girl and won’t have problems to find someone, but if tina decided to stay with her, she totally has to let bette go, but i still think that ally is too good to be true…i’m hoping for TiBette still but i have a feeling that you’re going for Tally instead (or why would you bring up the story where Bette ended up with Teddy instead of Tina?)…if so, my heart will be broken
Hey Ci-tay Gal, How’s this hot spell affecting you? Giving you plenty of inspiration and not too much persiration. On to this latest installment: Wonderful to have Ally’s point of view however it is still messed up as Tina attempts to sort her emotions and feelings out. I do believe that she believes that Ally is the one to mend her heart but sometimes it has to be the one that broke that can fix it. I want to see Tina deal with the past and see this broken Bette. Perhaps through nuturing and supporting Bette, Tina’s true emotional core will be revealed and Tina will decide who completes her. I did like Ally’s fightin’ talk and think that Bette may be in for the fight of her life. What would be a better cause than the love of your live to take that battle on for. More please as these gals need closure with Shane’s funeral and move forward. Thank you for this iontense and thought provoking drama. Your Loyal Fan.
This is Bette Porter and once she sees Ally there, she won’t touch or lean on Tina. Alice is there now so maybe she’ll lean on Alice. Tina still isn’t ready for Bette.
I do like Ally. I do. But………… I’m way too big of a Tibetter to see Tina with anyone else.
Thanks for writing.
Gosh, this hurts. Ally is such a nice person, that i feel sorry for her too. Either way that Tina chooses somebody’s going to be in pain. So which way are you taking us girl? ^_^