Fan Fiction
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Situations
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Bette walked furiously up and down the hallway, muttering as she waited patiently for Tina to finish.
“T… come on…”
“I need a few more minutes Bette…” Tina called in reply.
“Fuck… what is she doing in there…” Bette said into their empty home, her bladder telling her that she really, really needed to get into the bathroom, her mind telling her that she ought to have gone to the bathroom earlier, instead of waiting until she was desperate, and when was she ever desperate, never, until now. She had a strong bladder, but the thoughts of needing to go were making her worse and now she was completely desperate.
“Nearly done…” Tina called.
“Come on T, its really getting crucial out her, can you at least unlock the door?”
“Uh… not for a minute…”
“Why not…”
“Just having a little trouble in here…”
“Trouble with what…”
Silence ensued, Bette stood with her ear to the door, trying to fathom what was going on behind the locked wooden barrier, the odd word being muttered from within, the toilet flushed, and she breathed a sigh of relief, at last…
“T… you done?” Bette heard the continued mutterings as she waited for the reply.
“Not quite…”
“What the fuck is she doing in there… for gods sake…” Bette stood with her legs crossed, leaning against the door, trying to think of something other than the noise of the running water beyond the door.
She heard the door lock click, she turned to the door, seeing it opening very slowly, Tina peeping through the crack of the door at where Bette was standing.
“Thank god… come on T, I’m gonna give myself an injury here waiting…”
“Uh… I don’t think you should come in…”
“Tina… I need the toilet, you need to let me come in…”
“It won’t go down!”
“What?” Bette looked at Tina’s reddening face as her mind took in the words.
“You know…” Tina nodded her head back into the bathroom, “… it won’t go down.”
“It doesn’t matter T, I really, really need to go… my bladder is about to explode…”
“I don’t think you should go in there for a while…”
Tina opened the door wider as Bette stepped closer, the aroma immediately hitting Bette’s senses, here eyes becoming wider, the sudden urge in her bladder forgotten, “Oh… uh… you know… I think you’re right… I’ll uh… wait a while…”
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Oh, well…didn’t quite expect that one, but another trueism of life… Embarrassing but still true to life. Must have been like toxic waste in there, the reaction to the aroma! Geez…they needed to go shopping for aerosol spray–maybe lighting a match wouldn’t have done it this time! Continue to post these…they are great!
British, shmritish! I don’t care how long I live, there’s nothing about this story that I want to taste. “Bette walked furiously up and down the hallway, muttering as she waited patiently” That Bette sure has a funny way of expressing her patience. And you Jo, have a way of expressing the funny.
You know, their house looks pretty big on TV. Maybe this is the architectural equivalent of “the camera adding 10 pounds” but I thought they would have had more than one bathroom. And Bette could’ve gone for a swim and used the pool like so many do. Just one reason I no longer swim.
oh LOL, that was a classic, the best yet
just read both chapters…LOL…the hair chapter was classic, my roommate made me do it all the time while blaming me for having the grey hair in the first place…the bathroom one is just LMAO…poor bette, maybe she could use garden, just like Mark did in season 2
This is so fucking funny, maybe she should go to Shanes house and use her bathroon. Love the way you write this funny B&T and cant wait to see more, can’t get enough of them. OK post soon please, thanks!
OH SH!T!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO, like I said earlier, I love this series!
well she is a human isn’t she? and this is a comical situation! your chapters are so good!
Beyond the pale. Everyone knows neither B nor T go to the bathroom, unless it’s to get a tissue or take a pregnancy test, or make out in blue striped pajamas. …Hey, a woman has to have her fantasies and mine don’t include…
I have two words for you, Bette: Orange Spray.
light a match tina…light a match…
I was in marching band and everyone knows band geeks (well the true ones anyway) don’t mind poop and fart humor. Hell I think band geeks invented it! lol What Tina just went through isn’t uncommon at my apartment. Due to low water pressure one can only wipe 3 or 4 times before the toilet has to be flushed. It’s not fun at all.
LMAO…yes an aquired taste..but very very funny!..keep em coming!…
RMAO!!!!!!!!! Tina busted a floater!!!!!! man when I said it would b nice to get a take on Tina, this was not what I had in mind. FUNNY NO ASS THOUGH!!!!
Well, if it’s an aquired taste, I most have picked it up somewhere along the way!
LMAO! Hey you know, “shit happens”, what can I say? LOL! More please!
I love these cause we all have this romantized, idealized version of B&T in our heads, but all this real life stuff has to happen sometimes too. As they say “shit happens”.
haaaaaaaaaa outta control for this one
HA HA!These are great……
Aw poop Tina.LOL. How many B.rooms do they have? I’m sure it’s more than 1.Perhaps Bette just loves to smell Tina’s u know what? LOL.
Ha ha! :)) OMG, Soo funny. LMAO!!! :))
OMG, Jo!!! We’re so so SO far away from “Do you remember when…”!!! *wink* But, hey, these are things of life, right? Doesn’t hurt to be reminded once in a while. I mean, it’s like in those TV shows where you think they sleep with make up on, kiss in the morning with a wonderful breath, and never ever go for a s***, ever! I agree that these are what we French people call “Tue-l’amour”! But I trust you Jo, and I know that with you, their love (and loving) is safe!