(Voices in the mirror…her inner self has a conversation as she peers into her image…

Here lies ‘Tina Kennard, she lived, she most certainly loved, and then…well, she died.’ Yep…that’s what it’ll say. Hmmm….look at me. The unbearable likeness of me, all dressed up and nowhere to go….look at that reflection in the mirror, like an odd reminder of me to me…hey, look at that…a wrinkle, well, I guess I have more than just one. Age and beauty, an odd mix but oddly apropos for a life weary combatant like me…a survivor of the generations and their times…was it generation x or w or some such category of post hippie progeny? Certainly far less dramatic than those original hippies and their kind. I don’t know. Mine eyes have seen so much. And so much has been left unseen, unfelt, unlived. I’m not sure what, but it’s all out there…somewhere. And what have I done? Not a little, but still not really so much…except HER…and then HER…I never thought I’d find HER and I certainly never thought I’d beget HER…she’s my living breathing testament…she is of me. And she is so beautiful…heart, mind, and soul. It’s scientifically impossible that she is of HER, but like no one else in the world SHE reminds me only of one other…of HER. Without them I’m nothing. They’re my everything.

Helena interrupts Tina’s gaze into the washroom mirror at the office.)

HELENA- “Hello…what? Find a pimple or something?”

TINA- “Hmmm? No, no silly. I was just sort of lost in thought.”

HELENA- “What about? Oh wait… the ‘feelings’?”

TINA- “Yes…well not really…well, I don’t know. I was thinking…what last words would adorn my tombstone?”

HELENA- (Turning to look at Tina…) “Are you sure this thought wasn’t preceded by a burst of warmth overtaking your body?”

TINA- “A fever?”

HELENA- “Sign of the crucible…hot flash…”

TINA- “Helena…”

HELENA- “Go see the gyno Tina…please…”

TINA- “I’m fine…”

HELENA- “All right then Kennard, listen up…how many times have you seen a woman lose herself staring into a mirror with the reason for it being…not sex, not the significant other, not her blemishes or wrinkles…but her tombstone…I mean THINK about it…”

TINA- (She smiles…) “You’re sweet.”

HELENA- “I think I hear Bette calling…” (Tina chuckles…) “Sweet? ME? No wait, forget Bette, somebody call Mummy…now THERE’S sweet! But I digress, did the cappuccino do nothing for you my dear?”

TINA- “I’m fine Helena…really, just pensive is all. What’s so alarming about THAT?”

HELENA- “Ya…ok…and…well, I’ll be having lots of alcohol at this dinner…you’re going to drive me to drink.”

TINA- “Don’t be silly.”

HELENA- “So, what’s going to be on the tombstone?”

TINA- “Here lies Kennard. She lived, she most certainly loved, and she died.”

HELENA- “How morbid.”

TINA- “Oh really? And what inspirational last words will YOUR tombstone hold?”

HELENA- “That’s my point…I’M NOT THINKING ABOUT IT…BUT…my dear Ms. Kennard, I won’t NEED a tombstone…”

TINA- (She smiles and plays it up…) “OH I see, a memorial?”

HELENA- (She becomes more dramatic and feigns seriousness…) “No, I’m having myself mummified and displayed in glass…you know, like Lenin.” (Tina looks at her, smiles and is on the border of either a huge laughing fit or fear if Helena’s being serious…) “The very notion of decay so much as even approaching this natural Peabody beauty is just unfathomable and simply cannot be allowed!” (Tina starts a slow descent into uncontrolled giggles. Helena tries to fight off her own nervous laughter with feigned delusions of grandeur…) “Mummy of course will have outlived me by then, so there’ll be a Peabody around to care for the Helena museum…” (The giggles encroach on the stubborn composure…) “I wonder if admission to view me will be tax deductible?” (Tina’s laughing and shaking her head, starting to leave the washroom as Helena follows and continues…) “And imagine the contribution to science…the uncompromising Peabody beauty…nor age, nor crucible, nor the elements of nature herself could make it submit…”

TINA- (Chuckling…) “I don’t know my dear, perhaps you too should be looking into the mirror a little more frequently…”

HELENA- “You cad!” (Laughing, they exit and head back to their offices.)


(Peggy and Grizzi are at a table at lunch.)

GRIZZI- “Now I’m a fairly straight arrow…always been one. But, you know, if I was a man I’d take her…I’d have her too. Mmm. She’s ravishing. Something about her.”

PEGGY- “If you were a man? And what? Ten years younger maybe? You old bat?”

GRIZZI- “Nah…I’d be just right for her. Older men are debonair…isn’t that what they tell us?”

PEGGY- “Dream on Marsh.”

GRIZZI- “Alas, I’m not a man.”

PEGGY- “She’s a lesbian you idiot. If you were a man, you’d be out of luck.”

GRIZZI- “I just don’t get it Peggy. I think I’d need to be a man to…you know…really take her…”

PEGGY- “Where? The opera?”

GRIZZI- “Oh come on…you know what I mean.”

PEGGY- “And you very well know that while I see your point, I also don’t. Remember…I’m a…what did she call me? A hasbian….back in the day old girl, I experienced the Saphic adventure.”

GRIZZI- “And what? You telling me that it… ‘worked’ for you?” (She makes a face.)

PEGGY- “Well yes, of course. I’m a Peabody Grizzi…we don’t do anything half-assed. It was marvelous.”

GRIZZI- “Mhm. Well, since no men are tickling my fancy, perhaps I should live by your example…explore the fertile lands of alternative lifestyles!”

PEGGY- “Heaven help us!”

GRIZZI- “Anyway, professionally speaking, Bette’s delightful. She seems quite good and I like her very much. Very talented and…well…debonair. She’s a fine spirit. I like that in a colleague…and in a woman…like you Peggy…you old brawd. Who knows, if you hadn’t of settled for the other one it might have been you and I going down that road.”

PEGGY- (She cringes…and jokingly…) “Stop…the images are hurting my brain! Grizzi dear…you’re starting to worry me. I can’t picture you dabbling in the Saphic lifestyle. It’s just not you Grizzi.”

GRIZZI- “Must be all the men I’ve had…”

PEGGY- “You mean the husbands?” (They both look at each other and laugh.) “You silly old woman. Still looking for adventure eh?”

GRIZZI- “Looking for passion really…things have fizzled. It’s not that I don’t have things to do and places to go and projects to conquer…it’s all there. But…I don’t know.”

PEGGY- “Take it easy Grizzi. Go to your daughter’s wedding. Enjoy it. For heaven’s sake, stop bossing everyone around…just enjoy it. And then, take it one day at a time. I mean look at me Grizzi, I’m driving myself around in this contraption…you at least still have…well, the looks are gone…” (she smiles at her and winks…) “But you’ve got a whole hec of a lot to look forward to.”

GRIZZI- “What? My Cubans?”

PEGGY- “No silly. Now Grizzi, I’m going to take you out for drinks and a once-over to get the kinks out if you don’t stop whining.”

GRIZZI- “Oh yes…like the last time you worked my kinks out…damn near killed me!”

PEGGY- “It wasn’t my fault you thought the Golden Gate bridge was the ‘stairway to heaven’!” (The both start laughing.) “My goodness…I thought we were going to spend the whole night in jail.”

GRIZZI- “I’ll never forget the look on that cop’s face when he tried to cuff you… ‘I AM A PEABODY SIR …’ I thought he was going to use the baton on you.”

PEGGY- “I think it was you flashing him that might have brought on the actual arrest…at least I was trying to charm him…”

GRIZZI- “CHARM? Jumping him and trying to tackle him to the ground wasn’t exactly ‘charming’!”

PEGGY- (She looks a bit stunned and smacks the side of her face with her hand…) “Oh…oh yes…I remember now…he was such a large fellow…I could barely throw my arms around him…oh my goodness yes…”

GRIZZI- “It’s a good thing Howard was there to bail us out and that he explained things. That poor cop…he was so understanding though.”

PEGGY- “Understanding? He was just embarrassed that I too him out!”

GRIZZI- “You crackpot…what if he had thrown the book at us?”

PEGGY- “But he didn’t, did he? Oh I knew what I was doing…it was all strategy you see…”

GRIZZI- “Mhmmm…in what? Wrestling?” (They both chuckle.)

PEGGY- “That was so many years ago. I can’t believe how time has passed.”

GRIZZI- “We had quite a ride didn’t we?”

PEGGY- “Oh yes, THAT we did my old friend…that we did.”

(Back at Bette’s office, after lunch Mae West and Bette Davis had gone off to catch up some more. Bette is looking at some documents and the phone rings.)

BETTE- “Yes. Oh…hi. No, sorry just in deep thought and post almost-traumatic stress disorder. GUESS who I went to lunch with. You won’t believe it. Well, Grezelda Marsh, the vice chancellor…yes, wicked witch…and Peggy Peabody! Yeah yeah…I kid you not. She looked so happy to be out and about…though driving a dangerous weapon…she’s got her motorized wheelchair. Oh it was hilarious. They’re such a pair. Lunch was like the twilight zone…but it was great. Yes, it turns out Grezelda is wicked, but no witch…no no she’s really quite amazing. I like her. Anyway…listen, I invited them to the dinner tonight. It’s ok, they’re down to earth…just have the alcohol at the ready and I’ll have to put Grizzi in the cigar smoking section of our backyard at some point. I’m not kidding…she smokes cigars. So do you need anything for me to bring? Mhm. Ok. I’m bringing my research assistants too, you can meet the new one and talk to Gerri about that idea she had that you liked. But you know what, I want you to talk to her in general. I think she’s got stuff going on and she seems troubled. You were so good with her last time, so see if you can help her sort things out. Ok. Ok, promise, no more guests. Helena? Oh…well, make sure she knows her mother is going to be there. Yes. Ok. Thank goodness it’s Friday. Ok…later my love. Bye T.” (She hangs up and is still smiling. ‘Such a comfort to me…that voice…I could hear it all day…’, she thinks to herself.)

(Stephen enters after having knocked.)

STEPHEN- “Dean? Dean Porter?”

BETTE- “Hmmm? Oh…hi Stephen. Did you talk to Gerri? I’m taking both her and you home with me tonight. We’re having an informal get together and dinner. I usually don’t bring my assistants over until much later in the school year but what the hec. It’s amazing to me…you did well in my classes last year, wrote an impressive final exam that prompted me to interview you for the position, but we’ve barely spoken until now. Professor Grandamme also gave you a glowing reference by the way.”

STEPHEN- (He’s beaming…) “Thanks Professor Porter. I’m really honoured to work with you.” (He stands there smiling and gazing at Bette. Bette smiles and looks away.) Can I bring anything tonight?”

BETTE- “Nope. You’re both coming with me when I leave here.”

STEPHEN- “Is there anything else I can do?”

BETTE- “No. So, how are those display pieces coming?”

STEPHEN- “Great. Gerri and I have gotten most everything done. It’s a good thing she’s an old hand at this. I would have been a bit lost.”

BETTE- “I doubt that. You two seem to work well together. So, Stephen, tell me what do you want to be when you grow up? You mentioned art galleries in your interview but I feel like I didn’t quite get the full picture.” (He looks at her like a deer in headlights.) “It’s not a trick question…and if you don’t know, that’s ok too.”

STEPHEN- “I…well…I’m not sure. I was thinking of art law actually, but first I want to get into the art world and learn about the process, the whole thing…art galleries, art auctions, and so forth. I’m fascinated by lost and found pieces of art, whether stolen during wars or otherwise and protecting all art…art in all its forms. Does all that sound off the wall or too much?”

BETTE- “Not at all. Though I guess you will be going about it via a lengthy route. It could take a few years for you to accomplish those things. If you want art law as well, I guess that’s another few years of becoming a lawyer.”

STEPHEN- “I’ve thought about that for a while.”

BETTE- “I have a friend I think you should speak to. I’ll get you his name and number next week. Tell him your one of my students and that I recommended you speak with him.”

STEPHEN- “WOW…thank you. That’s great. Thank you so much.”

BETTE- “Don’t mention it. It’s my job really. I do this sort of thing all the time. And you’re my research assistant after all. Anyway…I wonder about this Kramer exhibit. We’re going to have to assist with that. The gallery always uses our assistance on these things. Stephen…”

STEPHEN- “Yes ma’am…”

BETTE- “Make sure to keep on top of your classes. This extra work can take its toll if you don’t keep a balance. Understand?” (Stephen is smiling and nodding. Bette looks at him and smiles.) “You look a little jumpy, do you have an exam today or something?”

STEPHEN- “Uhh…no…I…just excited about all this new stuff I’m getting to do I guess.”

BETTE- “You’ll be fine. Just remember…balance.” (He nods and stares.) “Ok, I’ll see you later.”

STEPHEN- “Later?”

BETTE- “Yeah…you know…tonight…”

STEPHEN- “Oh, yes, of course…but there’s nothing else?”

BETTE- “No. I didn’t intend our meeting to go much longer. I just wanted to touch base and makes sure everything was on track.”

STEPHEN- “Oh…ok…cool.” (He smiles.)

BETTE- (She peers at him over her bifocals smiling…) “You ok?”

STEPHEN- “Absolutely, yes…and thank you…thanks for everything professor.” (As he’s backing out he hits a chair…)

BETTE- “Easy there kiddo…”

STEPHEN- “I’m good! It’s all good. I’m off now…Thanks…”

BETTE- (He leaves. She’s looking down at a bunch of documents on her desk…) “What’s wrong with my assistants today?”

KIT- “You’re driving them bananas babysis.”

BETTE- “KIT? Hey! I thought you were in San Diego?”

KIT- “No honey, I changed plans and came back yesterday. Oh my…look at you in those bifocals…you’re making ME look young.” (Bette had come around to the front of her desk and they hug.) “Let’s sit over there on the couch. I’m tired. I’ve been walking all over the place today. What’s an old cat like me supposed to do. You know, I should get one of those motorized carts…maybe I’ll race Peggy in my spare time.” (They both chuckle as they sit.) “Babysis…” (She takes her hand…) “Why are you driving my favourite niece crazy? The poor thing…you got her all stressed out.”

BETTE- “Well, I don’t know what she’s told you but obviously she hasn’t mentioned what happened with Ryan.”

KIT- “That misguided boy…yes, she told me. And good for you…I would have decked him if I was there. She came to see me this morning and we were talking and I think she’s worried about you.”

BETTE- “Me? I’m fine.”

KIT- “You’ve been on her case a lot…I’ve noticed. She didn’t really have to say anything.”

BETTE- “I worry about them sometimes. I just want them to be happy and safe.”

KIT- “Them? Who’s THEM? I was talking about Angie. Something up with Kennard too?”

BETTE- “No. Well, she does seem kind of sensitive lately.”

KIT- “You two need to take a break. I haven’t seen either of you in weeks. I was starting to get worried.”

BETTE- “I’m sorry, it’s just all this work with the gallery stuff and my classes and Tina has a few projects going on.”

KIT- “Unacceptable. I miss you guys. My boy is off to college and I’m driving the staff at the Planet nuts.”

BETTE- “Not tonight…you’re having dinner at our place. It’s informal and impromptu. Shane and Alice and Helena, and even Peggy will be there.”

KIT- “Wow…sounds like quite an event. Count me in. Hey, where’s Tina right now?”

BETTE- “At work.”

KIT- “Well, she’ll be getting off soon. I’ll go meet up with her at your place and give her a hand.” (She gets up…) “I’m off, have to get things, and then commiserate with Ms. Kennard…we have to catch up.” (Bette stands and Kit kisses her.)

BETTE- “That was quick. When are you and I going to catch up?”

KIT- “On the weekend. I need some catch up time with my niece too. Perhaps I can squeeze you in at some point.” (She smiles at Bette.)

BETTE- “Oh…oh well that’s nice…thanks so much…” (She smiles…)

KIT- “Relax, there’s enough of me to go around…got plenty Kitesmique to share.” (She stops when she’s at the door and turns to Bette…) “Even with them bifocals…you’re still my beautiful little sister…almost as sexy as I am…it’s really uncanny…bye!” (She winks and leaves.)

(A couple of hours later, Kit arrives at the house. She waits on the porch for Tina. Finally, Tina arrives about twenty minutes later.)

TINA- “KIT!” (She walks up and gives her a big hug.)

KIT- “Never fear, your favourite relative is here. How are you?”

TINA- “Fine. It’s so good to see you.” (They disengage from the embrace and Tina looks at Kit.) “Wow, you look great.”

KIT- “And this is surprising to you?” (Tina chuckles.)

TINA- “Of course not! Come on, lets go inside, I’ve got to start making food. You’ve got to stay for dinner.”

KIT- “I know, I went to see my wayward little sister at the office…looking all academic and old in them bifocals, though I have to admit…she still looks stunning…”

TINA- “Mmmmm…she does doesn’t she.”

KIT- “So, I’m going to put some coffee on and you my dear Mrs. Porter can fill me in on your adventures and we’ll start getting things ready.”

TINA- “Have you seen Angie yet?”

KIT- “Spoke to her this morning. That stunning beauty of a sister of mine is driving the poor thing crazy. Somebody should remind her the handful she was when she was Angie’s age. My goodness. Anyway Tina…what’s the story?”

TINA- “That’s pretty much it…Bette’s kind of anxious I think because Angie might be going away for a much longer period…she’s favouring the east coast, and Bette isn’t taking it too well. Neither am I.”

KIT- “Mhm…get over it…I had to with my boy. You know she loves you both to no end and nothing, not distance, not time, not any force of man or nature, will change that or her bond with you. I’ll make sure she visits often…I have a way of persuading people…you know?”

TINA- “Oh yes…mhmmm… ‘persuade’…yes…”

KIT- “I’m putting my foot down…she must come often and must work me into her plans when she’s here or I’ll hunt her down and smack her silly. I don’t put up with goodbyes very well, so she’ll have to compromise. You should have seen me in the beginning…I was calling my little boy every day. Drove him crazy. But he learned. Soon, he started calling me and taking trips home and sending me cards…even flowers on special occasions. He’s on top of things now. It’s never the same, I know, but it’s their time now. They need to be free to live it. So, Mamma T, what’s for dinner?”

TINA- “Anything I can find in this kitchen of mine.” (She changes the subject …) “Kit…you know I’ve been having an odd time lately. I don’t know if it’s just Angelica or what, but I’m feeling very sensitive towards Bette. I feel like I need her more and…I can’t explain it. I think I’m getting on her nerves too.”

KIT- “Take a breathe, take a long breathe, go somewhere together…even if that just means your bedroom and no interruptions…and be with one another…and do this often.”

TINA- “It’s funny…she’s been quite frisky lately, even though we’re both so preoccupied with work. She’s so very different from the woman she was as a lover decades ago…maybe not so different, maybe just more herself…but so wonderful…I don’t know what I would have done without her if things had turned out differently back then. I can’t imagine Angelica’s life without her. It would have been a tragedy and I would have lost the most important thing in my life after Angie.”

KIT- “But you didn’t and you’re here and you have all you could ever need or want, and of course you have ME, so there’s nothing else more to do than celebrate…as much as you can. Every day now is God’s gift so live each day well.” (She kisses her on the cheek.)

TINA- “Well…that’s an interesting bit of inspiration from the elder Porter…”

KIT- “Elder?”

TINA- “And wiser…much wiser…and stunningly beautiful…”

KIT- “Uh huh…now…let’s get things ready…I’m starving. But how about we have some tea?”

TINA- “Sounds good. I’ve got some pie in the fridge too.”

(A couple of hours later, Bette walks to the doorway of a room with a table where Stephen and Gerri are sitting working. When she arrives they are talking and don’t see her as she stands just back of the doorway…)

GERRI- “Yeah, she’s just really classy, all around…amazing woman…”

STEPHEN- “I was intimidated at first, but she’s really cool and down to earth. Also a very elegant woman. Any man would be lucky to have her…well…I mean…I guess any woman too…”

GERRI- (She smiles…) “So you know she has a long term relationship with a woman?”

STEPHEN- “Yeah I heard. Now SHE’S lucky.” (Bette’s eyebrow raises.)

GERRI- “Mhmm. But they’re both pretty lucky….she’s great.”

STEPHEN- “You met her?”

GERRI- “Yes. She’s really nice and easy to talk to. A very attractive woman. I see why they’re together. They really seem to compliment one another. And it’s interesting, the chemistry between them is so strong and warm. It’s really really nice to see. I know the professor more so I’m a bit biased. She changed my life. Things were really rough a while back and she stepped in, unassumingly and in a very subtle way, and…she’s just great. I don’t know what I would have done without her. It was helpful talking to Tina too…that’s her partner’s name. Anyway, they were both really decent to me.” (Bette is smiling. Gerri stops and looks at Steve…) “So like why am I telling you all this? You always have that affect on people?”

STEPHEN- “What? Making them bear their souls?”

GERRI- “Well I don’t know about THAT, but you do have a way about you.”

STEPHEN- (A bit overdramatic…) “I am a rare sort of man you see…I’m a very good listener…” (He smiles.)

GERRI- “Oh sure…now repeat the last thing I said…”

STEPHEN- “Uh….” (He pretends to not remember. Gerri mildly slaps him on the arm…) “Hey hey…I’m kidding…you were saying they’re both really decent…and Bette is your favourite…”

GERRI- “I didn’t say that!” (Bette’s eyebrows raise…)

STEPHEN- “Yes you did…”

GERRI- “Gawwd…you’re going to be annoying aren’t you? I can tell…” (Bette smiles.)

STEPHEN- “I’m really very nice…but I do like to bring subtle issues to the fore.”

GERRI- “Subtle issues?”

(Bette acts like she just arrived and walks in…)

BETTE- “Hi there. How are things coming you two?”

(They both turn around quickly and blush…)

GERRI- “Uh…we…we’re just finishing…”

STEPHEN- “Yeah, professor…”

BETTE- “Subtle issues? What are you two discussing? Are there problems with the exhibit?” (She comes up behind them and bends down between them to look at the documents on the table. Gerri just freezes. Stephen looks at Gerri and then Bette…)

STEPHEN- “Uh…no…no, not at all. I was just telling Gerri here how I like to look at the fine print in things and the details and stuff…”

BETTE- “Oh, so you’re meticulous…a stickler for details…a perfectionist?” (She turns to look at him straight in the face.)

STEPHEN- (He stares for a moment…) “Or…or…like Gerri here seems to think…I’m a little TOO observant.”

BETTE- “Well, can never be too careful.” (She rises up and puts one hand on Gerri’s shoulder and another on Stephen’s.) “Ok my fine students, let’s get going before my house gets overrun by hungry and thirsty guests.” (They both stand as they gather the papers. Bette turns and walks out while smiling.)

STEPHEN- “You think she heard?”

GERRI- “It looked like she just got here so maybe not.”

STEPHEN- “Hope not.”

GERRI- “Good thing we weren’t saying anything bad huh?”

STEPHEN- “Or too good…”

GERRI- “Mhm…” (They gather the stuff and head out. Bette drives them to her home and parks. They get out and she lets them in and walks in behind them. Tina, Shane, Kit and Alice are gathered around the kitchen talking and laughing.)

BETTE- “Hey there.” (They all call out … ‘hey Bette, Hi Sis, hi Bette.’ Tina doesn’t say anything but is smiling as Bette walks right up to her and kisses her hello.) “I see the gang is all here. I’d like you all to meet my research assistants. Everyone, this is Gerri, and this is Stephen. Guys this is Tina, Gerri of course you already met, this is Kit my sister, Shane and Alice over there…holding a dangerous weapon…someone shouldn’t let Alice hold the knife.”

ALICE- “Easy there Porter, I can wield this thing with precision ya know.” (Tina walks up to Gerri and hugs her and shakes hands with Stephen.)

BETTE- “Right Al…somebody pass her a potato to keep her busy.” (They chuckle.)

ALICE- “Better watch it Porter, or I won’t let you have any of my special barbecued steaks…”

SHANE- (She jumps in…) “OKAY…you are NOT cooking Al…don’t even think it…”

ALICE- (Pretending she doesn’t recall what happened the last time she fired up the grill…) “Hey now Yoda, you’re just jealous you don’t have the ‘gift’…”

SHANE- “Burning down the entire backyard? No Al…I can’t say as I do have that kind of talent…” (They all start laughing. The doorbell rings.)

KIT- “I got it.” (She walks over and opens the door. She lets the guest in and they both come to the kitchen.)

HELENA- “Well this is a fine group!” (They all say hello. Tina introduces Bette’s assistants. By this point, Stephen is looking like Alice in Wonderland and Gerri is quietly really happy.)

TINA- “You’re early Ms. Peabody.”

HELENA- “I had to make sure I got here in time before Alice started ‘cooking’…” (She makes a face and they all chuckle…)

ALICE- “Ok! Now let’s take a step back…it wasn’t THAT bad!”

KIT- “I seem to recall the sirens that day…” (They all laugh.)

TINA- “Now now…let’s not gang up on the poor thing.”

ALICE- “You tell ‘em T.”

BETTE- “Hiding behind my woman again eh Alice?”

TINA- “PROFESSOR PORTER…shouldn’t you be helping with something?” (Bette smirks.)

TINA- “Come on Alice, help me chop this stuff. You jokers make yourselves useful…Helena you make drinks with Shane. Porter sisters, get the grill going. Research assistants…help me get the utensils out.” (They all intermittently comply, saying ‘yes ma’am’ and otherwise happily acknowledging the issued orders.)