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    As Sure As The Sun 11

    Story written on October 4, 2006 by New Dawn Fades.
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    15 votes, average: 3.87 out of 515 votes, average: 3.87 out of 515 votes, average: 3.87 out of 515 votes, average: 3.87 out of 515 votes, average: 3.87 out of 5 (15 votes, average: 3.87 out of 5)
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    Genre(s):
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    Number of Comments: 7
    Words: 2911
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=62690
    Author Notes:

    “You’re turning me into someone else……..’

    As Sure As The Sun PT 11

     

     

     

     

     

     

    CH 33

     

     

     

    You still take me wrong
    I don’t need understanding
    Let the damage sing
    I’m asking, I’m demanding……….

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Shane is sleeping soundly, her arms wrapped tight around me in a sort of death grip. It was almost like she was afraid to let go of me. I wondered about us some more. I wondered when we where going to be free of this world, when we would have a happy conversation, when we would see my son? I know if I get up out of the death grip of Shane, well she will get up and want to talk and try to read my mind and we would fight about it and fuck some more and the fucking is fine it’s great, there are men and women all over the world who won’t ever come the way I do when Shane does the thing…..but I don’t want it now….. I just want her not to read my every movement like a panther, I want to not look into those soulful eyes, to not feel the pout, you see what I mean, I can’t think around her.

     

     

    What the fuck was I saying anyway? Oh yeah the death grip if I could get out of and see the photos of that cute little boy that has my blood coursing in his little veins, maybe I could feel something other than this. It was her fault, the real Carmen and her fucking sense of honor, she was taking it all again…..think about that, think about how it would feel to hate yourself and not be yourself, how every time you pass a mirror you want to shoot it……

     

     

    Meeting him….a person with no previous experience of me or the real Carmen….what would that be like? Can I complain about it forever? Yes I can. Should I? No I should not. It’s a complicated situation. I’m a complicated situation. And most of the time I feel fine. Then I get use to it, this life my new life, and then I get a reminder that I am not me, that Shane is not mine and those pictures of that little boy…..that’s all they are. Can’t look at them, can’t feel anything that is mine. And I bury it so far deep….but Shane she knows. I can’t keep anything from her. I don’t know how. And it’s not like I have any secrets. It’s not like I have anything that is mine.

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    Comments

    5. Hail Princess NDF! lol great update but brilliant piece of writing.STEAMY! lol you capture it so perfectly! i was smiling when i read the last line on chapter 35 and then boom! different story. really like where this is going i hope you dont kill shane. but then agian its your baby and you know better! oh and thankyou so much for mentioning the songs at the end. appreciate it!

    6. Aghh! They’re barely at the race and already there’s something going on? Good grief! Maybe Carmen is overreacting; I certainly hope so. One thing I had trouble with, though, was Carmen hitting Shane in the shower. Just think, what if it was Shane punching Carmen? Not cool, right? Not at all. Now, I’m not asking you to change the feel of your story (not that you would), nor am I trying to make you feel bad/weird/uncomfortable about that part (again, not that you would), because the scene fits with the high physical and emotional intensity of the story. What I am saying is that, personally, I didn’t agree with Carmen’s reaction in this situation–I’ve always felt strongly about things like that. That said, I still absolutely LOVE the story and where you’ve taken it, and I’m still super happy for the update. Thanks. :D

    7. Wow, this is beyond great!I must say I’m loving that Carmen is very jelaous that Shane hooking up with that girl. It would be nice if that was explored further and we saw Shane with that girl.

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