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    Pasts Forbidden Love Pt. 5

    Around 13 odd years ago Morales household

    Shane was sitting quietly in the room her new foster family had given her as she stared at the only thing her mother had given her, a small wallet size photograph of her mother. Her mind wandered to the last time she had seen her mothers face or heard her voice. "why’d you have to leave me" she asked knowing her mother could not heard her. The tears she had desperately tried to hide (from whom she didn’t know because the room was empty, but in some way she was hiding them from herself because maybe if she didn’t cry about being alone then she wouldn’t feel it) were now streaming down her face, Her new foster family was great she would argue that. They were the first family that hadn’t treated her like she didn’t belong. they had even thrown her a birthday party 3 days after she arrived…. As her thoughts drifted to the family, she hoped would not let her down like everyone always did, she smiled thinking of the best part.. C.. the most beautiful 12 year old she had ever seen.. her best friend and the one person she trusted the most…. And the fact that she had a gigantic crush on her was a little confusing…

     And almost as if on que Carmen came walking into the room, bouncing her head to the music as she sung alone to the loud music blaring thru her CD players headphones. Shane head popped up at the voice and wiped off her face with her shirt sleeve trying and failing to hide the fact that she had been crying.. Carmen’s head snapped up from mid-bounce when she noticed Shane sitting in the corner of the medium sized room and pulled her headphones off her head.. She slowly walked over to Shane, who was just sitting their quietly trying as it seemed to Carmen to disappear, and she sat down Indian style mirroring Shane on the floor..

     shane finally looked up again when she felt a hand brush the short hairs that had fallen in front of her red eyes and found Carmen staring at her with concern, willing her to talk to her…

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    Comments

    1. Holy shit!!! That wuz fuckin’ awesome!!!! Grade fuckin’ ‘A’, Baby-girl!!!! Please continue soon!!! And by the way, that wuz a fye sex scene . . . two thumbs up, Babe!!! Anyways, like always from me, Baby-girl, LYLAS ;-p . . . HoLlA aT mE!!!!

    2. “please tell me what you think”Okay, I will, only because you asked nicely ;D. I thought the scene was very sensual and classic Sharmen. You painted a very erotic picture that was only tarnished by a few spelling and grammatic errors. That said, I hope you keep writing as it is the only way to get better,- that, and a good editor (notice I didn’t say Spellcheck because spellcheck won’t really look for the contextual difference between something like “…began trusting…” and “…began thrusting…”). All in all, I thought the your piece was good. The sex was steamy and sensual, and not too mushy,- that’s very good in my book. Keep ’em comin’!

    3. OMG they were 12!!!!!!!!! lol i was playing with barbies at that age lol …well i really didnt play with barbies but you know what i mean. i love this story is really cool like the flash’s backs and all but im from puerto rico and the “quiere uster joder me” sounded really off ,mexican people dont say that but taking that off love ittttttt keep it coming

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