As Bette uncorked the bottle of zinfandel, Tina stared out of the window. She turned around and looked intently at Bette. “So, what do you want to know?”

Bette poured the wine and handed Tina her glass. She walked over to the couch and sat down. Studying her glass for a moment, she looked over at Tina. “I’m not sure how to say this without sounding really harsh.”

“Just say it Bette. I’m a grown up, I can handle it.”

“Okay.” Bette put her wine glass on the table. She felt that if she continued to hold on to it, she might crush it in her bare hands. Emotions were coming to the surface, and she was fighting to keep them in control. Bette clasped her hands together and looked up at Tina. “Why did you fuck Henry in our house?”

‘Whoa,’ Tina thought. “Okay, that was a little harsh.”

“Told you.” Bette reached and took a few sips of wine.

“How did you know?” Tina never told anyone about her time with Henry.

“I came home one evening and saw you two through the window. I just knew you two had sex. I turned around and left before you could see me.” Bette was struggling to stay calm. “How could you Tina? In our home?”

Tina looked over at Bette. She knew that there was nothing she could say that would make this better. “It was wrong. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? So sorry is supposed to fix it? You had sex with that man in the bed where we conceived our son, Tina. Do you know what that did to me?” Bette stood up and paced.

Tina cringed. “I don’t want to get too technical, here, but we did not have sex in our bed. We were in our bedroom, but we did not have intercourse in our bed.”

“What do you mean?” Bette rubbed her eyes. “You were in our bedroom, right?”

“Yes, but we never had sex in the bed. It was just once, Bette.” Tina inhaled sharply. “Against the bedroom door.”

Bette looked at Tina incredulously. “I don’t care WHERE you fucked him. It was in our home, Tina. IN OUR HOME. Where we were raising our daughter. Jesus, she was there, right? Where was Angelica, Tina?” Bette was livid.

Tina looked at Bette. She knew that they would have to talk about all of this. “She was in the guest room with Mikey. They were asleep.”

“Or you hope that they were. You don’t know that for sure.” Bette resumed pacing. She suddenly stopped and spun around facing Tina. “I would NEVER bring someone else into our home and have sex in our bedroom. I would never dishonor our home by bringing someone there for sex. With our daughter in the NEXT ROOM??”

“I was an impulsive thing, Bette. I didn’t plan it.” Tina walked over to the bed and sat down. “It never happened again.”

“Yeah, I guess by then you two decided that having sex at his house was more fun. I don’t know why though. You could have kept fucking at our house. Obviously you thought I wouldn’t mind. Why would I mind that a MAN was fucking MY WIFE in MY HOUSE?” Bette felt like she wanted to throw something. She couldn’t get the image of Tina and Henry out of her mind.

“Bette…” Tina started.

“So, Tina,” Bette interrupted, “did he do all of the things that I couldn’t do for you? Or you didn’t want me to do to you? You needed a man because I couldn’t satisfy you? Is that it? Oh, wait, you never gave me the chance. You never intended to give me the chance. Part of my punishment, right? Right, Tina? So, somewhere along the line you got horny, and thought that the best way to get off and get me back was to fuck a man. That’ll really show her how much I hate her and what she did. She got another woman, so I’ll go one better. I’ll get a man. I’ll go fuck a man and make a mockery of what we had. I’ll make her look like an idiot and throw her entire life back in her face. Is that how it went, Tina?” Bette was shaking with anger.

Tina just looked at Bette. Tears started down her face. She suddenly hated herself for what she had done to Bette. Hearing Bette recount everything made Tina feel as if she was seeing the past year’s events from the outside in. And she felt like a monster. But she knew that it was her fault that they were in this place in their lives. Tina had no idea what to say, or if she should say anything. She just stood there with tears running down.

“So now what, Tina? Now that you’ve had your fun at my expense and destroyed our family, you want to kiss and make up? He couldn’t satisfy you so you’re coming back to the home team? Tina, forty-eight hours ago you were planning to live your life with him. The nice, safe, straight life. And now you want us back. Are you going to change your mind again? Do I have to spend the rest of my life wondering when you’ll want to be with men again? What do you want, Tina? Do you know? What do you fucking want?”

Tina took a step towards Bette. She wanted to grab her things and run as far away as possible. But if she had any chance at putting her life back together, then she had to stand up and face the truth of what happened. If she was to get the love of her life back, then she had to stand up and fight for her.

“Bette, I want you. I want us and our family. I’ll say it as many times as it takes for you to believe it. I want you and only you. I love you, Bette.”

Bette stood in the middle of the room looking at Tina. She was so angry she couldn’t think. ‘Breathe, Porter, breathe.’ she told herself. Bette felt as if she couldn’t focus on anything. Everything looked fuzzy. She closed her eyes and took several more breaths. As she opened her eyes, she focused and saw Tina sit down and begin to sob. The anger began to drain away. She never liked to see Tina cry, especially if she caused it.

“Tina…”

Tina couldn’t speak. Her breathing hitched as she cried more forcefully. Suddenly, the tears subsided and Tina felt as if she couldn’t catch her breath. Her eyes widened and she bent over trying to catch her breath.

“Tina?” Bette walked over to her. “T, are you okay?”

Tina began to hyperventilate. Bette suddenly grabbed Tina by the wrists and kneeled down in front of her.

“T, look at me. Look at me, Tina. I think you’re having a panic attack. Is that what’s happening?” Bette looked panicked.

Tina could only nod her head. She had been here before, although it had been awhile since her last panic attack. Her body began to tingle and she couldn’t focus. She felt like she was going to pass out. She just couldn’t catch her breath.

Bette jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Looking around, she spotted a paper bag under the vanity. She grabbed the bag and ran back to Tina.

Kneeling, Bette raised Tina’s head with her hand. “T, here’s a bag. Breathe into the bag, sweetie.”

Tina was having a hard time focusing on what Bette was saying. She looked at Bette anxiously.

“T, breathe into the bag. C’mon baby, you can do it.” Bette placed the bag over Tina’s nose and mouth and held it tight. She placed her other hand on the back of Tina’s head. “Breathe, baby. Slow and easy. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Tina breathed into the bag. Slowly she regained control of her breathing. “That wasn’t good.” She took a deep breath and released it.

“Are you okay?” Bette still looked worried. “It’s been a long time since you had a panic attack.”

“I’m okay.”

“Sorry, I guess I got out of control. I didn’t mean to make you that upset.” Bette felt really bad. “I shouldn’t have lost it like that.”

“It’s okay, Bette. It needed to be said. You needed to say it. I had my raving moment, and you had yours.”

“But I didn’t almost pass out from a panic attack.”

“I’m okay now.” Tina walked over to the window and looked out. She smiled. “Besides, it was worth it.”

“What are you talking about, Tina? How was a panic attack was worth it?”

“It was worth every second.” Tina turned around smiling. “You called me baby.”