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What Grief Has Made, Part Twenty-Five
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Tina emerged from her own thoughts and looked at her. “What?”
“Tonya! The cat killer! I said I hope Dana isn’t going to bring her to the meeting.”
“You really don’t like her, do you?” Tina observed.
“No. I don’t.”
“Do you really think she killed Mr. Piddles?”
Alice waved one hand. “I don’t know. But she could have.”
“But why would she do that?”
“Because she’s jealous! Can’t you see that? She hangs all over Dana like dandruff. Dana doesn’t go anywhere without her. She doesn’t even seem to have a job except for following Dana everywhere she goes.”
“That doesn’t mean she killed the cat, Alice,” Tina rolled her eyes.
“No, but it means she’s not good for Dana.” Tina huffed.
“Well, maybe not,” Tina mused, “but Dana has the right to fuck up her own life, just like the rest of us.”
Alice looked at Tina with concern. “Are you all right?”
Tina sighed loudly. “No. Not really.” She knotted her hands in her lap “I just don’t understand….” She started to cry softly.
“Aw, Tina…” Alice fumbled for words. “I know it’s shitty.”
“Yeah,” Tina sniffed, “it is. But ….but I knew things weren’t good…with us. That’s the real reason I made an appointment with Dan Foxworthy. I was hoping he might be able to help.”
“Guess not,” Alice commented.
“It didn’t help that Bette didn’t want to be there. Just took control, like always. But I let her. Just like always. We really were the perfect couple for awhile, as long as she could make all the decisions and I let her.”
“When did….”
“After I lost the baby. I started working at Oscar’s center. I’d forgotten how good it felt to just work, and to do something I believed in. Pretty soon, I was as busy as Bette. I think…I think she didn’t like it that I was having my own life again.”
“Well,” Alice drawled, “when you’re used to calling all the shots….”
“Yeah, well she sure called a bad one this time,” Tina said sarcastically.
“You don’t think….”
“…think what?”
“Bette wouldn’t have done this…Candace, I mean … she wouldn’t have done it just to hurt you.”
Tina took a deep breath. “You know, it would almost be easier to take if that were true. It would mean she still loves me.”
“Tina! Of course she still loves you!”
“I don’t know, Alice. I really don’t. Sometimes, when love is gone, the habits are still there but not the feelings. And I…I haven’t felt that from Bette for awhile. Even before we tried to have the baby. I think….” Her voice broke. “I think Bette needs something I can’t give her, something Candace does.”
Alice didn’t know what to say.
“Well,” Tina wiped her face again, “anyway, we’ll get this over with and, I don’t know, maybe do something fun tonight.”
“Yeah,” Alice said, “something fun.”
But her mind was drifting back to last night. She still didn’t know where that impulse to see Dana came from. And that kiss! What was that about? She surprised herself when she kissed Dana but she was absolutely shocked when Dana returned the kiss, with even more passion. She smiled to herself, then straightened her face. We swore, she reminded herself. Never. We would never sleep with each other because we’re friends and we don’t do that.
The thought did not keep Alice’s pelvis from tightening pleasantly as an image of Dana, lying naked in her bed, came to her. She wanted to know:
Was her skin as soft as her lips?
Would her nipples stiffen as Alice kissed her way down her body, trailing her fingers over her breasts?
Could her clit harden under her tongue?
Would she taste sweet and tangy, as she drank her?
Would her cunt spasm as Alice thrust her fingers against her ‘G’ spot again and again.
Would she scream when she came?
“Oh boy! Am I ever in trouble!”
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Every one seems to have a heart full of hurt and sadness, Maybe thing will get better thanks