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You (Part the Twenty-First)
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It was weird, but Dana had to admit that it was going to be hard to leave the hospital. Even she had a hard time understanding that, but after two and a half weeks inside the sterile whiteness she knew it was going to be somewhat surreal to go back to what everyone else knew as the "real world." She’d come so close to death during her time inside that what was beyond these walls didn’t even seem real to her anymore…almost as if it was some kind of imaginary world she’d seen only in her dreams up to this point, and was now expected to live within as though she’d never been removed from it at all. The very thought gave her a headache.
She wasn’t exactly able to articulate this, mostly out of the fear that no one would understand a word she was saying. During her talks with her psychologist, she’d come to understand that feeling like this was normal. Still, knowing that others had felt this way before didn’t exactly mean that Dana was comfortable sharing these feelings with anyone. In some strange way, she felt that to do so would be to validate the fact that her life would never be the same again.
Oh, it wasn’t that she was expecting things to be like they always had. Even she wasn’t naive enough to think that they would be. But in her heart of hearts, she was able to see her release from the hospital as exactly that: a release. Something that she’d come very, very close to losing, and she didn’t think she’d ever be able to look at things the same. She hadn’t died, obviously, but a part of her knew that going home would be a lot like being born again, just not in some weird religious sense. It hadn’t even been a month since her life had been completely turned upside down, but already she felt as far removed from her life before the hospital as she did her six month stint in the Peace Corps after her college graduation.
Nothing would ever be the same again. She knew that, and she knew that it was only logical that she’d be feeling this way. Still, it felt strange to know that everything she’d once found so much comfort in, that had once been as familiar as her reflection in the mirror, had become part of another world that she was unsure she’d ever be able to rejoin. Hell, even her reflection was completely different from what it had been before.
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Wow…for a while you made Ally speechless (something that never happens to me!). That was fucking amazing MT, they’re so loving and caring and it was truly perfect. I could read your writing all night long and never get tired. I love how they really connected with each other, emotionally, mentally and physically and even though there is still so much to talk about I’m sure you’ll do that with just as much perfection soon. Sad to see that the cancer isn’t reducing but I have faith in you and don’t doubt that things will start to look up after the angst dies down. Thanks for a wonderful chapter, look you turned me all serious! :) PPS xxx
True love…fantastic!!!
WOW..Teary Eyed (could be the Miller Lites) No seriously Phenominal! I agree with renski true love, hands down, actually beyond…Thank You!
Yo Muted beautiful update. You are so good at making me squirm, and damn Ally speechless thats almost a miracle. PPS.
Concerned about my horrible sleeping habits? You’re such a sweetheart. :-) I’m always struck by how caring, tender and real you make the characters – in good times and in bad times. I won’t give another one of my usual stream of consciousness comments, in which I ask every question that comes to mind about the danish’s future. Instead I will just say thank you for the wonderful update.
Okay That! was pretty fucking brillant. And Dude it’s not nice to tease about a possible happy place interlude – I mean the thought alone coupled with your verbal imagery is enough to rocket me to my very own ‘happy place’.
Oh MT, another amazingly beautiful chapter. Nice to see them working through their stuff and being able to reconnect in the end. Thanks for the dance! They have so many more memories to create and you are giving them some great backstories. What more can I say? I love this story, but you knew that already… xoxo
Okay, so I wanted to comment before a few days went by, although I only got to speed read through it and that bothers me because your writing is just too incredible to speed through. So I’m gonna go back and re-read it properly asap and leave a better comment. But from what I read, it’s another excellent effort. I’m seriously running out of adjectives to describe your writing!
This chapter was like an emotional rollercoaster. First of all, yay, Dana is back home! I was kind of shocked that Alice left her. But Alice was right and she needed to back off for a while to sort things out. And well, you got them reconnected in a very nice way. :P (Thank god for Yoda and the other friend for talking some sense into her). There were some pretty funny parts in this update too. My favorite line was “There are some lines friends just shouldn’t cross.” “Somebody should tell Alice that.” If only I was so lucky to have a friend like Alice crossing the lines. Sigh… :P And I did get the reference to Elaine. Poor girl, Jerry and George were tough on her after the health check by phone. I just think it was efficient time management on Elaine’s part. :)
WOW now Ally that was totally amazing. You captured everything right about ppls feeling when they have been in hospital for months and the fear they have when leaving the hospital. Great update PPS
Alright, it may be a bit long-winded, but here goes: I loved the more subtle plot points the most in this chapter. The fact that Helena re-did Dana’s place to mirror the fact that it was a new chapter for Dana’s life after almost dying, so she should be able to start over aesthetically in her home as well. I also loved the fact that you didn’t just use the cancer as an easy way out to solve all danish’s problems. It’s so true that just b/c Dana is sick doesn’t mean Alice is 100% healthy (mentally) when it comes to how she feels about the relationship. I loved that you didn’t just sweep her unresolved issues under the rug in the name of Dana’s recovery. And I may kick myself for saying this, but I sorta didn’t mind that Dana didn’t have the most optimistic prognosis. I know you’d never kill her b/c you’ve said that before and I’m completely holding you to your word :) But seriously, I think it’s more than just a coincidence that the cancer didn’t improve much during the time that Alice was apart from her, not helping her fight it. I choose to believe that with Alice back by her side helping her fight this thing, the next visit to the Dr. will prove to be much better. That’s just my wishful thinking. But seriously Muted, this was another stellar update and I am so addicted to this story. It almost makes me want to stop writing my own because it all seems so trivial compared to what you’ve written. I just love it! See you on lj.
hey there, i’m sorry for not commenting earlier, like waaay earlier. I’m reading all your stories here and just love them. And I decided to stop out of the lazy-lurker-house and tell you how much I love your work. And it’s much more special just by the fact, that we sadly don’t have any danish to look at anymore on tv. Luckily our hearts are a complete other thing. I wish they would have showed something like your story or similar on the show. A lot of hearts wouldn’t have been broken that way. And another thing, I’m also on the media blvd. board (“danish_above_all”, yeah, not the most active poster) and I like your comments over there. They are insightful and intelligent. Keep up your great work.All the best. :)berna
Wow you really do have amazing talent, I get so lost and involved in your story I cant think of nothing else but what is happening in the chapter. Thanks for posting, am really looking forward to the next bit x
I’m glad that Alice was able to tell Dana how she felt without pushing her away. Seems liek the time apart from each other did them both a lot of good. It’s a shame the cancer didn’t recede but I think Dana’s strong enough to fight it. And the reconnection here at the end… too sweet. Great chapter, Muted.
Hey MT, sp sorry I haven’t commented for a while but don’t worry i’ve been reading! Another amazing part, i don’t no how you make each one better than the last. Fantastic, PPS :)
I love this story! This is how season 3 should have been on the show if it was I would still be watching the show today. Keep up the great writing.