“Holy fuck, look who it is?” I could feel on of their hands make its way up my back and into my hair. I can feel the disgust rise in my throat; I turned, ignoring what ever one it was.

“Hey,” I pushed away her fucking dirty hand and made my way to Alice who was pointing to her and shouting.

“So you finally come home you fucker, and I have to read about it in the fucking paper!” I saw the red drink in her hand; I knew she would be giving me a hard time for this.

“I tried but I was busy doing shit in NY, plus you never answered.” I feel the warmth radiating off of her as she pulled me into a hug, the comfort of being around her.

“Yeah right, so how have you been? You doing another underwear ad anytime soon?” she sat back down, I missed this, all of it. The not too crowded club and the bullshit from Alice.

“Well now baby girl, where have you been? Get over here and give me a hug,” I turned to see Kit walking over.

“Hi,” her arms felt so warm and inviting. I didn’t deserve this, they all turned a blind eye to all the shit I’ve done and do.

“Fuck McCutcheon where the hell did you disappear to?” Syd was yelling over the talk of the crowd, I saw her standing on a chair.

“Who is that?” my head was pounding when I saw her walking hand in hand towards the do booth.

“I’ve gotta go,” my heart racing and head pounding I feel it take over me. The ghost of who I always wanted to be for her, I need to stop the fucking feelings, all they ever did was make me want to see her.

“There you are, don’t you want to come party with us?” I felt that hand run over my shoulder and I feel sick to my stomach from the touch of her.

I walk away glancing up every chance I get to see her, my stomach churning at the sight of the girl touching her arm. I feel the bodies brushing up against me, the looks from the women who were pointing and whispering. I can feel my heart still beating in my chest, I don’t breathe when I see the bitch kiss her. the rage that is pulsing through my veins is intoxicating, a new drug that is hiding all the pain, but I can hear the ghost whisper in the back of my head telling me to calm down.