Her words cut deep, the look in her eyes turning the hot blade. I have dreamt of her saying these words so many times, I have cried waiting to hear them. Each passing second with her, I can barely breathe, I can’t see anything but those emerald eyes that shine in this darkness. I want to believe every word that she says; I would give anything in this world to believe her. I can’t fucking stand the way she’s looking at me, her eyes staring unblinking. No matter I believe I can see that she is telling the truth, one of the fucking things I hate about her, that she has always told me the fucking truth. I wish she was a bitch, someone who just pulled the trigger.

It’s amazing how much she still looks the same, the way her hair still falls in her eyes. The way she hides behind it, only it’s longer, almost too long. She has a new scar just above her right eye; it’s so faint that I barely notice it. Oh god, what happened to her? She skinnier than before, not by much but still skinnier. I can’t see her, her blurring with the tears that I can’t help but shed. I hate this feeling, of losing myself in those eyes, of wanting to push those stray strands of hair out of her eyes. Of wanting to kiss those quivering lips, of feeling those arms holding me.

“I think about her sometimes, how she looked in her dress, how it almost made me stay.”

I hear those words and my racing heart, that’s pounding so hard against my chest that it feels like it’s going to explode. It stops and I see her, everything that she is and was. The look that causes my body to burn, my mind starts to cloud and the thoughts of us together.

“What she doesn’t know is that I watched her,-” my world starts to spin and all I see is her watching. Her walking down that hall, holding hands with her father. The smile that lit up her face, the excitement that filled her voice when she introduced me to him.

“Let’s go Syd.” those words pulling me back to into this world, holding me prisoner. I can feel all my muscles burn as I try to move, to stop her, but I can’t and it’s killing me. All I can do is watch her walk out the door with that girl who seemed to know her. The one who has been by her side for all these years, who knows what type of questions she answers. Who has talked to her, who knows why she has that scar on her eye. Why can’t I get that fucking scar out of my head?