I walk out with her, hating what I’m doing, hating the reason I have to do this. I see her smiling that grin that I would’ve done anything to see once, those hands that I loved and now repulse me. I look at her and all I see is my mistake, the reason that I can’t be with her.

She fucking loves the attention, she’s holding on to tightly, her touch is sickening. The flashes are blinding, tearing my head apart, and I can still see her. I can feel her eyes on us, and my mind is reeling not knowing what to do. If I go with Cherrie than I do the right thing I leave her world, and I walk away. What if I give into the voice that is screaming in my ear telling me to go back to her, to tell her everything? I can’t…I can’t…I can’t.

“Fuck this,” I throw her hand away. I want to fuck cut it off just so I can get the feel of her off of me.

“Shane, what are you doing?” I hear the panic in her voice, I don’t care anymore. She is nothing to me but a fucking whore; she was a mistake that only sealed my fate. I can feel her walking right behind me, her hand as it grabs me, and all I can do is pull my arm away from the hell that she holds.

The room is spinning faster and faster, and I can barely stand. Each step is like lead, making it harder to get to her, the bodies stopping me. I don’t know if I can get to her, not when I see that look on her face, and my heart stops beating all together. She looks disappointed, like I had let her down again and I have never felt this before. There was no hate; no pain in her eyes just the look of disappointment.

“Shane lets go out side.” Alice’s voice no more than a whisper, her arm tearing me away from her.

The cold night air was relaxing, freeing. I know that she wants me to open up to her, to tell her what the fuck is wrong with me. And I don’t know where the fuck to start, her eyes are bearing into my back. I can’t sit still; if I do the darkness that follows me will swallow me whole.