That smile, god how I loved to see it, to be the one who made it happen.

“I would love to,” how she looked away before she said it. What the fuck did I just do?

“Great,” I love the way my jacket hangs off of her shoulders. How she looks at her hands when she’s nervous, those stolen glances that she thinks I don’t see.

“So where are we going?” I have no fucking idea where we’re going, just as long as she with me.

“Anywhere you want to go.” I can see that smirk that looks in her eyes.

“Nice one…I don’t care where we go.” I can’t get enough of her voice, of that smile and it’s driving me crazier by the minute. If only I could touch her, to feel those lips…she has a girlfriend. She has a girlfriend and the only thing that would ever happen between you two now is this, walking talking and nothing else. “Shane are you there?”

Trying to shake her walk out of my head, god I loved it when she walked. Okay think where can we go, where can we go…my bedroom. Fuck no…her girlfriend, her girlfriend who she likes a lot. Fuck I want to kiss her, no behave.

“Are you hungry?” Food in a restaurant where we’re not alone; where I don’t have to think about those legs.

“Starved,” of course she was she was always hungry after work. She was always hungry after sex, really hungry, fuck she could pack it away.

“We’ll let’s go,” she’s walking so close, her hand briefly brushing against mine. That shock of her skin, I’ve never been so fucking hot. Did she feel it? Did she do it on purpose? That look she’s giving me, I can’t seem to stop staring, I don’t want to.

I stop her before we get to the car; I open the door and ignore that little smirk on her face. Fuck that’s hot, just get inside, just drive. It’s a lot hotter in here, god her short’s are really short, breathe don’t forget to breath. The car engine, causing all the thoughts that would make her blush pause. The road a thankful distraction, that is until she turns on the radio, and I see those fingers. Those magical fingers that can make me forget the world, forget my own name. What the fuck is my name?

“So where are we going?” her voice cutting into the memory of those night’s, those moments when we laid together.

“Uhm…there’s this great restaurant by the beach. It has great food,” nicely done, “and drinks. Lots of drinks, lots of alcoholic drinks.”

Her laughter causing me to look at her, wondering how she could do that. Fuck car, shit that was close, she’s laughing even harder. That was a stupid thing to do, stupid thing; she thinks I’m an idiot now. God, I love looking at her, how could some one be so breathe taking.

“Would you stop that,” fuck she caught me.

“Stop what?”

“Looking at me like that,” she looks so sad. I have to do something to get that smile back.

“Sorry…I can’t help it.” those eyes, if I don’t look away we’re going to crash. “So tell me what have you been doing?”

Anything to hear her voice, to get that smile back.

“I’ve been working, I moved home for a while…you know right after the-.” god why does it hurt so badly, why can’t we get passed it all. “I came back to LA after a couple months, and I started to Dj at a lot more places. I even did some work for a few bands.”

“Yeah I know, I read about some of your stuff in some magazine.” under ground music, issue 317, page 27. I was so fucking high when I saw that, I had been in Sans Francisco for three months. “I bought one.”

She looks surprised; I can’t stand those eyes right now. I wonder what she would think if I told her that I bought the whole stack, that smelly guy that sold them to me. Say something please, just say something.

“Yeah well Alice talked me into it. Ever since then I’ve been working twice as much, that was until I met Jess.” she has a name; I hate how it sounds coming from her lips. Dead silence that is suffocating, killing me slowly. “So tell me what you’ve been up to.”

Where the fuck to start, what am I suppose to tell her. Should I tell her about those nights I can’t remember, about those nameless faces that I left in my bed each morning. Should I tell her about how much I missed her, how I thought of her every moment. Don’t fuck this up, just talk.

“Come on I know about the whole modeling thing.” she sounds nervous, and I can’t remember a time when she has sounded like this. “I saw your ads… all over the place.”

“Yeah well, they asked me when I wasn’t all there… I don’t even remember it.” fuck her knee just brushed mine, the world is blurring and all I feel is that spot on my knee. “Whoa… uhm I was running the store in Sans Francisco. Didn’t do anything much there.”

“No you just opened one of the biggest stores in the world.”

“That was Chase I was just cutting hair and throwing parties.” it use to be so easy to talk to her, to tell her everything.

“Well you were busy, I mean you were in a lot of magazines… there were a lot of pictures of you and other girls.” fuck I can’t breath; I can’t feel my heart beat anymore.

“I was messed up…but I’m better now.” is that a look of worry in her eyes am I causing that? “Let’s talk about something else.”

“Like what?” fuck anything that will make me stop thinking of you naked.

“anything.” a faint smile on her face, all I can smell is her perfume floating through the air, her voice filling my head.

_______________________________________________________________________________

“…so any way, we’re walking out of the club and she is trying to impress this girl. She was going on and on about the store and how she could do any tattoo that the girl wanted for free. And then out of nowhere she walks into a parked car, landing in a huge puddle of gross water.” the smile on her face, the way she keeps shaking her hair out of her face.

I love the feel of her foot just touching my leg, so faint. I love that smile, the way she has pizza sauce on her chin. Before I think of what to do, I wipe it away, her hand grabbing mine holding it. Her gaze, stunning and unforgettable, entrancing me. The electricity flowing from her hand, paralysing my body, causing my breath to catch. The past two hours falling away, there is nothing in the world but those eyes, those lip and that hand that held me. Please tell me she’s feeling this, the rush, the confusion and the fucking heat.

“Would you two like anything else?” fucking waiter who made her drop my hand so fast.
“Uhm…yeah sure uh let’s get some desert.” she sound’s and looks like she was just caught with her hand in the fucking cookie jar.

“Sure.”

He hands us the laminated menu, and walks away in his ripped jeans, and faded shirt. This place just screams of Shane, the graphited walls, the rock atmosphere with the pierced employees. They didn’t stare, they did there jobs and left us alone most of the night. The way she seemed so comfortable, so happy, that smiled that was radiating, warming every inch of my body. I wish she would just grab my hand and take me away to where ever we could just be alone. Where I can feel those lips, those hands working there magic making me forget everything.

“What do you want?” I have to bite my lip from saying that I want her, all of her.

“What ever good.” that smirk on her lips, making me blush just a little. Making me feel like I was the only one she saw, the only one she thought of.

I watch the black threaded bracelet on her right hand wave to the waiter, the way she shook her head when she handed him the menu. The movement of her lips as she ordered, her small smile that she gave him. How she glanced at me, asking to get the food to go. What is going through her mind?

“That’s cool right?” what ever you want, just as long as I am with you.

“Yeah…where are we going?”

She just smiles, and puts her finger on her lips. Oh god, I have to remember…what the fuck was her name? We walk out and the hostess swoons when Shane says her name, our waiter watching her every move. How she walks just in front of me, stopping and waiting for me to walk past her, never beside me. The feel of her eyes glancing over me, how she would quickly look away when I turned to her. The way she held her cigarette, lighting it in one smooth movement. How it just held in place, how she let it hang off those fucking sexy lips.

The way she flicks it away, opening my door and waiting for me to get in. the way she ran around jumping as she pulled up her sumptuously low jeans. The car roaring to life, and how she concentrated on driving. I can’t get enough of her, and I want more each second. When we stop I can barely see out side the window, and oddly I’m not afraid.

“Where are we?” that smile, and all I want to do is grab her shirt and pull her into a kiss.

We get out and all I feel is a soft slippery ground. It takes a couple minutes for my eyes to adjust to the dark, the moon casting everything in a milky white shadow. The smell of the ocean overpowering all other senses, the sound of the waves hypnotizing my every thought. The way she looks as she stands there, glowing in the light, a dark angel.

How she smiled, holding out her hand, waiting. The feel of her fingers gliding into my hand, the heat flowing over me by her touch, making me forget the cold. How she lead me to a spot so far away from the world, alone in our own.

“So what do you think?” god I could kiss her right here and now.

I can’t think to say anything, and all that is running through my head is her pinkie moving over the back of my hand. I shouldn’t do this; I shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts. I shouldn’t want to kiss her chin, to run my hand through her hair, to lick that little spot on her neck. Jen no wait her name is Jess and she loves you, she loves you…she loves you.

“I missed you.” her voice barely a whisper, her eyes piercing into my very soul.
Those words that fill this black hole where my heart was, where I feel it beat just for her. Her lips so fucking irresistible, her eyes tempting. Just fucking tell her, try to find the words that are trapped in your chest, clawing its way out. Why the hell can’t I talk? Why won’t she say anything?

The heat rising from her, making me wants to escape from these chains, these clothes. She so close, her nose grazing my cheek, driving me crazy. Her breath warming that spot on my neck, the smoke clouding my head, my nerves on fire. If I just move I can fell those lips that I have craved for so long.

TBC