Chapter 21

Bette sprung out of bed, scrambling to get dressed, before Angelica came searching for them and finding them in a precarious situation.

“Shit,” Bette muttered as she stumbled trying to put her jeans on quickly. “She’ll know we’re back together.”

“No,” Tina said as she slipped her t-shirt over her head and buttoned her jeans. “I’ll go out back through the bedroom and slip into the kitchen like I was outside the entire time.”

“You’re leaving me alone with her?”

“She’s your daughter Bette!”

“My daughter that basically can’t stand the sight of me right about now.”

“Bette,” Tina stood there with her hands on her hips and a scolding look on her face. “Where is the woman that’s an art tycoon and can do anything she puts her mind to?”

“This is my daughter.”

“Which should make it easier to face her, she loves you, even if she’s slightly mad at you right now.”

Bette’s head flew to the door as she heard Angelica coming down the hallway toward her bedroom.

“Mom! I want to go home now!” Angelica shouted as she searched for Tina.

“Oh my God, get out!” Bette pushed a shocked Tina out the door and ran to her bedroom door, unlocking it, coming face to face with her daughter. She stared at Angelica, who seemed genuinely surprised when the door swung open so quickly in front of her.

“She’s not in here.”

“Where is she?” Angelica asked.

“I think she must be outside if she wasn’t on the couch when you woke up.”

“Whatever, I just want to go home so I need to find her.”

“Angie,” Bette said as if pleading with her daughter. “I know you’re mad but let’s sit and talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, it’s in the past right?”

“I know that from the tone of your voice that isn’t how you feel.”

“Well how am I supposed to feel? I mean, everyone seems to think they can tell me how I am supposed to feel about things. So how am I supposed to feel about you hurting my Mom?”

“Angie,” Tina said as she came around the corner with a mug in her hand to pretend she had been enjoying a cup of coffee outside. “That’s enough.”

“Why Mom? You wanted to talk about it, so I am. I’m not saying anything that isn’t true right?”

“Do I need to remind you that I’ve forgiven Bette years ago for what happened? Not to mention that she’s your mother too and that commands a certain level of respect.”

Angelica had tears forming in her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest in defiance.

“Let’s just sit and talk about this ok?” Tina said in a tone which indicated it was more of a demand then a request. “Bette would you like some coffee?”

“Yeah,” Bette said taking a deep breath in. “I’d love some thanks.”

Bette and Angelica followed Tina down the hallway and into the kitchen. Bette pulled a chair out and sat down while Angelica made an effort to step to the other side of the table to put as much distance between her and Bette as possible while still complying with Tina’s demand to discuss the situation.

“Angie would you like something?” Tina asked.

“To go home.”

“Angie,” Tina said in a warning tone. “I meant to eat or drink and you know that.”

“No thank you then.”

Tina began to make coffee for her and Bette as the room fell into a deafening silence. Tina stood behind Angelica, signaling to Bette with her eyes to begin a conversation to clear the air.

“Angelica, I know it’s hard to understand,” Bette began trying to make amends. “I had a hard time understanding my own actions, but believe me I’ve worked hard to put that behind me.”

“I’m sure you did,” Angelica said in a sarcastic manner.

“I did, and it wasn’t easy, but Tina forgave me and I think that should count for something.”

“Well I’m not Mom.”

“No, but then again I’m not asking for your forgiveness am I?”

Angelica locked eyes with Bette in anger.

“I mean really Angie, I don’t owe you penance nor do I really owe you an explanation.”

Tina saw the frustration etched on Bette’s face with her daughter attempting to punish her, once again, for a mistake that she worked to leave in the past.

“If that’s how you feel,” Angelica mumbled, knowing that she was treading on thin ice with her mothers.

“What is it you want me to say?”

“I don’t want you to say anything, I want you to have never let it happen so Mom wouldn’t be hurt and I could have my family still together!”

“If I could go back I would!”

Tina sat down, setting a mug of hot coffee before Bette, but otherwise remaining silent to allow Bette and Angelica the ability to talk through the resentment Angelica had over Bette’s mistake.

“But you can’t can you?”

“No, but we moved past that Angelica and I worked as hard as I could to keep our relationship together.”

“What?” Angelica snapped back obviously confused and frustrated.

“What didn’t you understand about that sentence?” Bette snapped back.

“You got back together after that?” Angelica directed her question at Tina instead of Bette.

Tina sipped her mug and just nodded her head in a silent answer.

“I can’t believe you’d get back together after she cheated on you!”

“Good thing you didn’t need to believe it for it to happen because that’s what I wanted,” Tina said calmly as she sipped her coffee.

“Couldn’t you just date a ton of women like you’ve always done and leave Mom alone?” Angelica said in anger to Bette.

“Do you really expect me to dignify that with an answer?” Bette shot back annoyed with her daughter’s behavior.

“Angelica,” Tina started setting her mug down. “I think there’s a misconception here that we need to clear up and quickly. You may not like our decisions, or even understand them to a certain point, which is why we’re trying to help you by explaining them. What we won’t do is allow you continue to act like a spoiled child that’s pouting because they don’t have their way. Both Bette and I have been nothing but good parents to you and that’s what’s important relative to you, not who we chose to date or the mistakes we’ve made in the past. Either you can calmly continue to ask questions or this conversation is done, never to be brought up again without severe consequences.”

Angelica avoided Tina’s gaze knowing she had pushed too hard.

“What’s it going to be?” Tina asked arching her eyebrow in Angelica’s direction.

“Fine,” Angelica muttered.

“Fine what?”

“Talk, I’ll listen.”

“Good,” Tina nodded at Bette to continue as she picked her mug back up and sipped her coffee.

“We did get back together just before you were born,” Bette continued.

“Why? Why bother at that point if it were just for me because obviously that didn’t last?”

“It wasn’t,” Tina said behind her mug. “It was for me, I asked Bette to move back in here because I loved her and wanted to make our relationship work. She had tried so hard, I saw a different Bette then I had ever encountered, and that meant something to me.”

“So you didn’t even ask her to come back home?” Angelica asked Bette in astonishment.

“No I didn’t ask. I, in fact, spent most of my time begging.”

“What happened the next time around then since you’re obviously still not together?” Angelica asked obviously annoyed at the turns her mothers’ relationship had taken in the past.

“Well, I agreed to let Bette be part of your life, because that was my intent when I got pregnant. I wanted to start a family with Bette. So, we grew closer during the pregnancy and then what I think finally did it was when your grandfather got sick.”

The mention of Melvin clearly impacted Bette, both Tina and Angelica saw pain reflected quickly in her eyes as she blinked to remove it as suddenly as it appeared. Angelica felt guilty, seeing that brief moment of pain in Bette’s eyes and the obvious reaction Tina had to it, as she reached over and put her hand on Bette’s thigh to comfort her.

“When Melvin got sick, I knew Bette needed someone there to stand by her. I had always promised that I’d be that person and I meant it. I would stop by the hospital to bring her a change of clothes or food. She spent her entire day and night in that hospital until she brought him here to take care of him, so I did my best to spend as much time there with her as I could.”

“He was here, in this house?” Angelica asked in a softened tone.

“Yes he was. Bette took a leave of absence from work to take care of him.”

Bette sat back, silently rubbing her finger on the rim of her mug, while her coffee grew cold inside.

“I didn’t know that,” Angelica said quietly as she stared at the table in front of her. She knew how much Bette’s work means to her so the fact that she took a leave of absence from her job spoke loudly to Angelica.

“At that time, I was still dating your Aunt Helena, but in my heart I knew I wanted to be with Bette. Seeing how vulnerable she was, how much she needed me, it was different then it had been before.”

“I don’t get it,” Angelica said still staring in front of her.

“Our entire relationship Bette had been the strong one. She had been the one that held things together for us. Financially, she was the rock of this family. Emotionally, she was always able to hold things together while I fell apart over things. So to see her needing me, when she hadn’t needed me before, it showed me how much she changed. I found an inner strength during that time too, so it showed me how much I changed to be able to be her rock.”

“I always needed you,” Bette said sadly as she continued to stare at her mug.

Tina’s answer was to merely squeeze Bette’s thigh as she continued to explain to Angelica what happened in their relationship.

“What was wrong with your Dad?” Angelica asked Bette.

“Cancer.”

“He couldn’t get better?”

“He didn’t want to, so I brought him here to die,” Bette began to feel the tears forming in her eyes.

“Why didn’t he want to get better?”

“He was old, and just didn’t have enough fight in him to put himself through treatment.”

“Melvin was proud,” Tina interjected, “He wanted to die with dignity and he did.”

“So you helped Mama B when her Dad died and that basically helped you get back together?”

“I tried to help her,” Tina said sadly. “I saw a different Bette emerging and I loved her so much for her efforts to take care of her father.”

“I’d take care of you Mom.”

“I know you would,” Tina smiled at her daughter. “But Melvin, well, he was different. He wasn’t as supportive as I think I am to you. So when Bette put her life on hold, I saw how different her priorities were.”

“I’m just sorry it took me that long to get it,” Bette said as she blinked back tears.

“That was the first time you kissed me in front of him, remember?”

Bette just nodded as she continued to play with her mug of coffee.

“Why didn’t you kiss in front of him?”

“Because the same prejudice you’ve encountered already was seeded deep within my father. He didn’t approve of my lifestyle, “Bette said sadly. “He barely tolerated knowing Tina existed for much of our relationship, but when he was sick what mattered to me most was you and your mother. I didn’t care about his approval anymore, I just wanted the life I had always dreamt of because I had been absent for it for so long. Although one life was ending I could see mine beginning again with Tina.”

“Didn’t that make you mad Mom, that he didn’t like you?”

“Yes,” Tina said smiling. “We fought over Melvin for many years when we were together. But in the end, with as much dignity as he had in dying, I hopefully had in forgiving.”

“I think he finally got our relationship,” Bette said quietly.

“Do you think that Mom?”

“I think,” Tina said cautiously choosing her words,” Melvin was very sick and didn’t necessarily know what he was seeing in front of him. But, I also believe, that now that he’s in a better place he can see that love is love and we exemplify that, even if it isn’t the traditional way in which he wanted to see it.”

“I’m sorry about your Dad,” Angelica said in a voice barely above a whisper without looking at Bette. She was afraid of seeing her mother in pain although she was still mad at her.

“Thanks.”

“So anyway, I moved back in here,” Tina said as she finished sipping her coffee. “We worked hard to get things ready for you to be born. We wanted a home birth for you.”

“You’re kidding right?”

“No, why would I be?”

“Can’t you ever just do something like a normal person?” Angelica asked shaking her head.

“I am a normal person,” Tina said smiling. “It didn’t matter anyway because we had some complications so we had you in a hospital like ‘normal people’ do.”

“But only because you couldn’t do it the way you wanted.”

“Are we that bad with our uniqueness?” Bette asked Angelica in a serious tone.

“Yes.”

Tina chuckled as she got up to freshen her mug of coffee, taking Bette’s to freshen it as well. She handed Bette her mug back but remained standing, leaning against the counter to continue the discussion.

“So what happened the second time around?” Angelica asked with dread in her voice.

“Well, our relationship wasn’t the same because we weren’t the same people,” Bette said candidly.

“What does that mean?”

“It means you can’t walk back into something expecting it to be the same when you aren’t the same person you were.”

“You wanted it to be the same?”

“It couldn’t be the same,” Bette said sadly. “The entire foundation of our relationship had changed.”

“Because you cheated?”

Bette winced at Angelica’s words but nodded her head in agreement.

“That wasn’t the only reason though,” Tina added. “I had my hand in making things harder then they needed to.”

“Why? If you wanted to be back with Mama B why wouldn’t you work hard to save your relationship instead of hurting it?”

“Out of the mouths of babes,” Tina muttered.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that you make it sound so simple, and in fact, it probably was and I just couldn’t see that through my emotions.”

“That still doesn’t answer my question though. Why bother to get back together if you weren’t going to mean it?”

Bette watched as Tina squirmed against the counter, now on the hot seat herself. Tina looked over and Bette and raised her eyebrow in a silent request for help in explaining what had happened between them.

“Tina didn’t come back to me with the intent of hurting me. We just were both struggling with our own demons and it made it hard to focus on our relationship.”

“Demons?” Angelica said with annoyance in her voice.

“Well for starters I had just lost my Father and then at his funeral I got fired from The CAC.”

“Why?”

“Oh it’s such a long story,” Bette said rolling her eyes.

“Aunt Helena said she didn’t do it and I believe her.”

Bette sat there in shock not attempting to close her gaping mouth.

“When did you talk to Aunt Helena about my job?”

“When I asked her who Mom dated and then I found out it was her. She said that a lot of people blamed her, but she didn’t do it.”

“We have varying opinions,” Bette said as she shook her head.

“But I believe her!”

“It doesn’t matter what you believe Angie, I’m not mad at it and I’ve made peace with your Aunt.”

“If you moved past it, why would it hurt your relationship then?”

“Because back then it wasn’t easy and it threw me off my feet. We had always planned on Tina staying home to take care of you while I worked. When I lost my job we had huge financial issues and I couldn’t get a job.”

“Why not?”

“Because there aren’t a lot of jobs in my field that didn’t require me to move or take a significant pay cut, which wouldn’t have help us either.”

“Well you were looking for the perfect job,” Tina said as she looked at Bette.

“And I earned the right to search for that after all I invested in my career.”

Angelica watched as the banter grew between her moms regarding Bette’s employment.

“I’m not saying that you didn’t. What I am saying was that part of why you couldn’t get a job was because you were looking for the perfect one instead of the ones that were offered to you.”

“Yes I chose to be happy in my work. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

“I don’t either, as long as the bills can be met.”

“I thought Mom worked for Aunt Helena?” Angelica asked to break the brewing disagreement between Bette and Tina up before it began.

“I did and still do obviously,” Tina said. “I went back to work to support our family when Bette couldn’t find a position that met her needs.”

Bette felt an annoyance begin to fester inside of her. Even after all these years, she didn’t feel that Tina was in support of her decisions regarding her career at that time.

“Angie, I worked hard for so many years to support our family. When I lost that job, I felt like I had failed, all of us. In a few short weeks, I had lost my father, my job, and my dignity. That job was what I had to define me in the past, I just felt so lost.”

“You think your job is who you are?” Angelica asked trying to understand.

“Sadly I thought that until you came along and showed me the more important things in life,” Bette said smiling at Angelica.

“This makes no sense,” Angelica said in anger. “So what if you didn’t have a job? That shouldn’t be a reason to leave Mom! I know you were close to your Dad but that’s not a reason to leave Mom either to date a ton of other women!”

“Angie,” Tina said calmly.

“No Mom, I won’t just stop because none of this makes sense! Not having a job or losing a parent isn’t a reason to just leave you, on your own, with a baby!”

“Angie, Mama B didn’t leave me,” Tina said sadly. “I had my own set of issues too. I left her.”