Lost and at Fault

{Part One}

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The sun was setting; the ocean breeze came off of the beach. It was soothing; and somewhat helping to ease my nerves. I didn’t know what I was doing, I shouldn’t have been there. I should have just stayed home…but I didn’t want to be home. Things weren’t okay there. The tension between Tina and myself was growing each day. Did I still love her? Of course I did. We try to talk in therapy…but I hated it. Why couldn’t we just talk alone?

I kept asking myself over and over; if you still love her; why are you doing this? Honestly; I don’t know. I had no concrete answer for myself or any for that matter. I guess I needed a distraction.

I looked down at my watch…maybe she changed her mind. She told me to meet her on the rooftop of her apartment; she would leave the key under the mat and be there after she was done work. I looked down at my watch; she should have been here fifteen minutes ago. It was getting chilly out as the sun went down. Just as was going to leave; I turned around and saw her standing in the doorway.

“I didn’t think you were coming.” She said.

“Neither did I” I said back.

She started walking towards me; her body gracefully swaying from side to side. I had always thought of her as beautiful, but lately her beauty was hard to resist. I stayed still as she approached me. Her body was only inches from mine; I could feel her warm breathe against my skin. My heart stared pounding faster the closer she was to me.

“This isn’t right…” I whispered into her ear.

Her face was pressed against mine; the softness of her skin against mine; she whispered back, “What isn’t right?”

Her voice was deep and exotic. How could anyone not love her accent? Without realizing it; I let my hands roam her back; my finger slowly ran down her arms until she laced her fingers with mine.

“I should go…” I tired to pull away bust she gently pulled me back. Her dark eyes, those beautiful eyes; they looked right into mine. It was as if she could see right through me.