Chapter 29

Shane pulled up in Cathy’s driveway and shut the car off dreading the pending conversation. She unbuckled her seatbelt, grabbed her cell phone, a pack of cigarettes, and headed to the front door.

“Hi Jane,” Shane said when Jane answered the door. “I’m here in response to a frantic phone call.”

Jane and Shane had the pleasure of meeting several times at gatherings that Tina held at her house. Jane was always polite and genuinely interested in Shane as a person, finding her life experiences nothing that she would ever live herself but interesting all the same. She often would hear her daughter talking to Angelica about how Shane’s ‘coolness factor’ increased each time she saw her and Jane could understand why. Jane felt, that out of all of Tina’s friends, Shane was the most genuine of the group.

“She’s in Cathy’s bedroom, you can go right back, it’s the last door on the left.”

Shane smiled and hesitantly stepped inside, making her way down the hallway. She turned around when Jane called out to her asking if she cared for a beverage.

“No thanks,” Shane said smiling. “I’ll just grab her and get out of your hair.”

Shane knocked and waited for someone to invite her in. The door opened slowly and then, upon Cathy confirming it was Shane, she allowed the door to fully swing open.

“Hey Cath,” Shane said smiling.

“Hi Shane,” Cathy smiled back. Although Angelica’s friends typically addressed her aunts using “miss” in front of their names, Shane always insisted that Angie’s friends just call her Shane. It was one of the things that Angelica’s friends liked the most about Shane, which caused a few of them to often stare at her and follow her around aimlessly.

“Hey PJ,” Shane said as she smiled at her niece, who was sitting on Cathy’s bed allowing tears to fall down her face. “That bad?” Shane sat down on the bed and put her arm around Angelica in comfort.

“Yes that bad.”

“Let’s go talk ok?” Shane urged lovingly.

Shane got up and opened the door for Angelica to walk through. As Cathy followed them down the hallway, Shane leaned forward and whispered in Angelica’s ear.

“Shouldn’t you thank your friend for helping?”

“Oh yeah,” Angelica said as she stopped and turned around. “Thanks for everything Cath!”

“Anytime,” Cathy said smiling.

Shane and Angelica made their way out to the car unaware of the set of eyes that were watching intently from a living room window next door.

“I see her finally. She’s getting into Shane’s car,” Bette said in anger. “This is absolutely ridiculous!”

“Calm down a minute Babe,” Tina said from her seat on the couch. She took one last sip of her wine and put the glass on the coffee table in front of her.

“Calm down?” Bette arched her eyebrow in astonishment at Tina’s request. “How can I calm down when our daughter has essentially run away from the conversation she wanted? It infuriates me that she finally gets what she wants and because it’s not the picture perfect answer she expected, she acts like a petulant child!”

“She is a child Bette,” Tina said frustrated. “I don’t expect her to fully comprehend all of this.”

“Then what in the hell did we tell her for?”

“Bette,” Tina said in an effort to interrupt Bette’s rant in an effort to minimize the pounding in her head.

“Seriously Tina, why travel down this road at all if not for her? The entire point was to provide her with some closure so she could adequately address comments for herself without being so upset that she resorts to violence. What was not the point was for us to be on trial again and sit through another round of judgment when we’ve moved past this.”

“I don’t think that she’s put us on trial Bette. I think she just needs to understand that we made mistakes but that we’re better people for them. She’ll come around once she calms down, but we threw a lot at her in the past few days and it takes time to absorb it all.”

Bette rolled her eyes in response to Tina’s logic.

“Babe I have a pounding headache and throwing ‘I told you so’ at me isn’t going to help that.”

“I’m sorry,” Bette said sincerely. She looked back out the window at Shane beginning to pull out of Cathy’s driveway. “Where is she taking her?”

“Probably somewhere private to talk,” Tina said rubbing her temples.

“I don’t like this one bit!”

“It’s Shane, we trust her with our lives, what could go wrong?”

“At this point not much more other then her finding out that we’re back together and pitching a fit, which she seems to have mastered as of late.”

“Shane doesn’t know that so there’s no chance in that happening.”

“Please Tina,” Bette said in a mocking tone and half smiling. “Don’t underestimate our horrific luck!”

Tina laughed and leaned back on the couch watching Bette pace back and forth in the room as if she were a caged animal.

“You really do look better in those jeans,” Tina said smiling as her eyes transfixed on Bette’s slender legs and thighs as she passed by.

“What are you going to do about it?” Bette asked as she slumped next to Tina on the couch. She gently pulled Tina’s head down to her lap so Tina could rest her eyes and she could massage her temples and alleviate Tina’s headache.




Shane pulled into the park and shut the car off looking at Angelica waiting for her to speak.

“Should we sit on the swings?” Shane asked.

“I guess.”

Both Angelica and Shane walked over to the swings near the car and sat on them. Neither of them began to actually swing, they just dangled their feet and sat in a comfortable silence.

“Do you mind if I smoke?”

“No,” Angelica answered as Shane lit her cigarette and took a long drag off of it.

“Want to tell me what’s going on?” Shane decided it was time to push.

“What isn’t going on?” Angelica threw back at her Aunt.

“Listen,” Shane took another drag off her cigarette. “I can’t help you if you don’t just pick a place and start PJ.”

“It’s about my moms.”

“I got that far on my own.”

“They told me what happened between them,” Angelica let tears fall down her face again. “I know why they aren’t together and now I’m glad they aren’t!”

“What did they tell you?”

“I know about the baby they lost,” Angelica said quietly. That topic wasn’t what hurt her the most, or evoked the most anger, it was the one topic she had learned that elicited sadness and empathy for her mothers. “I felt bad for my moms when they told me that.”

“I did to.”

“Mom cried,” Angelica said facing Shane on the swing.

“We all cried.”

“Was it as bad as what they told me?”

“I think so,” Shane said before taking a moment to ponder her explanation. “Before I tell you any more information, I want you to know that I wanted to stay clear of this discussion. I’m only here because your moms think it might be a good idea for me to try to talk to you so you have an outlet besides them.”

“I got it,” Angelica said in an angry tone.

“Ultimately you got what you asked for PJ, you just don’t like that it wasn’t what you expected.”

“What did I expect?” Angelica asked openly.

“The same thing we all did, that your moms would see that they’re good together and get back together. You expected that their love should be bigger then anything that life throws at them and real life doesn’t work that way.”

“Real love should!”

“Life isn’t a romance novel Honey, it never will be. Every relationship goes through highs and lows and some don’t survive the lows.”

“I used to think they were good together, but I don’t anymore.”

“Why is that?”

“Because all they ever do is hurt each other. I’m glad they aren’t back together so it can’t happen anymore. The only thing that wasn’t one of their faults was what happened to the baby.”

“Losing that baby crushed your moms,” Shane said as she lit another cigarette and began to twirl in the swing from side to side. “I’m not sure that they got past that.”

“I don’t think they did by the looks on their faces when they told me.”

“How do you feel about what they told you?”

“Sad,” Angelica said honestly and without hesitation. “I felt like it was the start to everything bad that happened.”

“I don’t think that,” Shane said as she quickly smoked the recently lit cigarette and threw the bud on the ground. “I think both Bette and Tina were struggling with the changes they made in their relationship to even become pregnant. I think they thought bringing a child into the relationship would fix things, but it never does.”

“I guess not.”

“When Tina lost the baby, they both were devastated and just handled it differently.”

“Yeah, Mama B cheated!”

“I can understand why.”

“I can’t,” Angelica said calming down.

“Then let me explain it to you,” Shane said. “Do you remember when you were younger and we’d have those huge birthday parties for you?”

“Yeah,” Angelica nodded her head.

“You’d have that goofy looking hat on and everything was catered to you. The cake you wanted you always got, all the presents were what you wanted and even wrapped in wrapping paper that was all about the show you were into at the time. Didn’t you feel special getting all that attention?”

“Yeah.”

“Didn’t you love every year when it was around your birthday because that the day just seemed to center on you? Everyone’s attention was focused on you and how much fun you were having, it was like it was your own special day.”

“Yeah I did feel pretty special,” Angelica said smiling at her memories.

“Candace did that for Bette.”

“What do you mean?”

“She made her feel like she was the most important person in the world to her. Candace didn’t come with pain from losing a child, or anger at the difficulty in getting pregnant, or even the pressure of being financially responsible for everything. Candace made Bette feel like you did when you had your parties. Can you understand why she gravitated toward that if you compare it to how you felt on your birthdays?”

“But nobody got hurt on my birthdays.”

“No, and therein lies the difference Angelica. But if you think about it like that, like how you felt on those days you had your parties, you’d see that it’s hard to turn away from that when on one hand you have happiness and excitement and on the other you’re struggling. It doesn’t make Bette right, and she knows that, but I can certainly see why it happened.”

Angelica’s answer was merely a shrug of her shoulders and silence.

“I’m still angry at her.”

“I can understand that, she hurt Tina and I know how protective you are of her. I also know that your reaction wasn’t that different then how everyone else’s was.”

“Were you mad at Mama B?”

“I don’t know that it was anyone’s right other then Tina’s to be mad actually. I was worried about Mama B more then I was angry. I understood why it happened and the only thing I wanted for both of them, which still is the case today, is for them to be happy because I love them both very much.”

“Mom dated Aunt Helena,” Angelica said in defeat.

“Yeah, I remember. What’s wrong with that?”

“It’s weird.”

“It’s amazing actually,” Shane said smiling. “Instead of looking at that as a bad thing you should be happy that they were able to remain as good of friends as they are. Helena helped your Mom out with a job when she needed it the most and she’s been an amazing Aunt to you as well.”

“Giving Mom a job helped her out though too,” Angelica pointed out knowing that Tina was an amazing success in her career.

“Helena is a very keen business woman, she knows what’s best and goes after it. My point is, she could have asked anyone, but made the effort to ask Tina so they both ended up winning.”

“Did Mom love Aunt Helena?”

“I think she did in her own way,” Shane answered.

“Did Aunt Helena love Mom?”

“I believe she did,” Shane said smiling at her niece. “The point is, when things end, they can end badly. But they care enough about each other to put that effort into a friendship and even Bette tries to overlook the fact that Helena had a relationship with Tina while she was pregnant with you, which cause Bette to miss out on some key moments. It was hard for Bette at first to forgive Helena, because she wanted your Mom back in her life, and Helena was blamed as an obstacle of that.”

“Was she?”

“No, it was Tina’s choice whether to go back to Bette and she decided when it was time. She could have ended things with Helena at any time, but she waited until she felt it was right.”

“I’m not mad at Aunt Helena.”

“Then you should tell her that when you see her the next time,” Shane pointed out. “You put her through one hell of a game of 20 questions when you went to see her in her office.”

“Ugh, I’ll tell her when I see her next.”

Shane messed up Angelica’s hair and chuckled when Angelica made a face similar to when she pouts.

“You’re a good niece.”

“You’re a good Aunt.”

“Thanks,” Shane said smiling. “So are we cool so far?”

“So far but you don’t know the other stuff.”

“So spill,” Shane said lighting another cigarette and beginning to slightly swing on the playground equipment.

“My Mom dated a man,” Angelica said as if it should come as a shock to Shane.

“I know, his name was Henry.”

“You knew about that?” Angelica sounded slightly angry.

“We all knew about that,” Shane said calmly. “I just chose not to get involved.”

“Why not?”

“Because I love your moms and want them both to be happy. If Henry made Tina happy then the end result was what I wanted.”

“Did he?”

“I don’t think so,” Shane said. “I’ve never really talked to her about it, but I think she realized that in trying to show you ‘normal’ she was missing showing you ‘love’. She finally chose to show you love and acceptance instead of normal and I think leaving him was a good choice.”

“So you think she dated him for me?” Angelica asked confused by Shane’s logic.

“I think she did it partially for you. But, I also think that there was a part of Tina that just wanted to sit down so to speak, to stop fighting for a while and take an easier road.”

“That’s what she said!”

“That’s why they call me Yoda,” Shane said smiling causing Angelica to laugh for the first time in the conversation.

“I’m just so angry at them.”

“You have no right to be Angelica,” Shane said and watched as a look of shock spread over Angelica’s face. “None of that in the past has anything to do with you and your life now.”

“But Aunt Shane…”

“No,” Shane interrupted in a caring manner. “Let me finish. I’ve sat back for this entire ordeal and not said a word when maybe I should have spoken up sooner. You’ve begged anyone and everyone that would tell you what happened for answers. You have two moms that love you enough to go through some rough memories to provide you with what you want and you threw it back in their faces. What does Candace, Henry, or even the baby they lost have to do with you and the kind of parents Bette and Tina are?”

“It does!”

“How?” Shane challenged. “Angelica, you know I love you to pieces and couldn’t love you more even if you were my own daughter. But you’re acting like a child that begged for an adult conversation and it’s obvious you can’t handle it. You trusted your moms enough to ask and they trusted you enough to share and then you trampled all over that trust when you ran out of there tonight.”

“I’m angry!”

“And maybe you think you have a right to be, but I won’t agree that you do. When I look at you, and I remember my life when I was your age, you have nothing to be angry about. You have two amazing moms that sacrifice so much for you and instead of being grateful for that you threw it back at them. I lived in foster care Angelica, I didn’t have a mom to come home to, even though I prayed for one harder then I have ever prayed for anything else in my life.”

Angelica felt a rush of guilt wash over her inside at Shane’s words.

“Are they good moms?” Shane pushed further.

“I suppose.”

“You suppose?”

“Yes,” Angelica said. “But I’m still angry and I still don’t want them back together anymore! I don’t want them to hurt each other.”

“PJ that’s not your choice either.”

“Well it’s a good thing they aren’t.”

“Still not your choice,” Shane pointed out a little more forcefully.


Bette leisurely played with Tina’s hair in an effort to relax her and help her ward off her headache.

“How long has she been gone?” Bette asked.

“For as long as you’ve been obsessing about it,” Tina said with her eyes closed feeling content to have the private moment with Bette.

“That doesn’t give me a timeframe Tina.”

“No, I suppose it doesn’t,” Tina said smiling.

Bette checked her watch as if the answer would magically appear there, but instead she just noticed that it had been a whole 5 minutes since the last time she checked. She sighed, making Tina roll her eyes, exasperated that Bette’s attention was not in the moment.

Tina decided to change that fact and allowed her fingers to graze the top of Bette’s thigh covered in the material of her favorite pair of jeans.

“It really is pathetic that you manage to look better in my favorite pair of jeans then I do.”

“Maybe that’s why they can be your favorite?” Bette said teasing Tina by mocking her that she looked better in Tina’s clothes.

“Oh, they’re still my favorite after the shower we had.”

“I’m glad you liked it,” Bette said as her body began to react slowly to Tina’s fingers tickling her inner thigh.

“That I did.”

Bette’s legs parted slightly at Tina’s teasing. Tina’s fingers began to play further up on her thigh, making it harder for Bette to concentrate on her anger at Angelica.

“You’re making it hard to be mad.”

“Good,” Tina said smiling as she sat up and kissed Bette’s neck, then moving up to her ear and sucking on Bette’s earlobe.

Bette’s response was a low moan, one of utter temptation to carry on with what Tina was beginning, but also knowing that timing was important and neither of them knew when Angelica would return.

“You know we don’t know when she’s coming home.”

“Uh-huh,” Tina said as she blew cold air on the part of Bette’s ear that was just in her mouth.

“And I should be helping you relax to help your headache.”

“Yes you should,” Tina said smiling as her hand snaked upward, resting right in the crease of her leg where Bette’s thigh ended.

“You’re dangerously close to not being able to turn this around even if she comes home.”

“Ugh,” Tina said in frustration. “How about you give me a massage then?”

Bette laughed as she looked at Tina in amazement.

“And did we forget the little fact that 86% of all massages end in sex?”

“I think our average is in the high 90′s,” Tina said laughing.

Bette moved so that she was facing Tina on the couch and urged Tina to turn around so her shoulders were accessible to Bette’s hands. Her first reaction was to moan and lean back into Bette as she began to knead Tina’s shoulders where most of her tension resided.

“That feels amazing,” Tina said with her eyes closed and her voice husky.

“You are so tight.”

“I’m tense.”

“I can tell,” Bette said as she allowed her hands to travel down to Tina’s shoulder blades.

“So what are we going to do?”

“About?” Bette asked as she kneaded a knot between Tina’s shoulder blades.

“Angelica, our fight, our relationship and how it impacts her.”

Bette slowed her movements as she worked to see her watch in an obtuse manner. Tina noticed the difference in her movements and rolled her eyes.

“She’ll be home when she gets here, stop looking at your watch.”

“Aren’t you a tiny bit worried about her?” Bette asked.

“Are you more worried or angry?”

“Both about the same.”

Bette felt Tina begin to tense under her fingers so she quickly opted for a diversion from the current discussion. She kissed the back of Tina’s neck slowly, allowing her tongue to lick her sensitive skin and then used her lips to gently nibble in that same area.

“Are you sure you want to start something that we might not be able to finish?” Tina said allowing her head to fall to one side giving Bette greater access to her neck.

Bette’s answer came when her hands snaked into Tina’s lap while her mouth devoured the recently exposed side of her neck.