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    The escape and The escape…in the mirror (Part 10)

    Part 10

    The escape…in the mirror

    "What are you doing here outside alone?“ Out of the darkness of the garden appeared a silhouette. It was Jenny, who just returned of her late shift from the small Diner. Her hair was all sweaty and she smelled like coffee and fries. „Why don’t you sit down with me for a little while?“ I asked her, while I sat up on the lounger, with a hand movement offering a seat to her and wordlessly taking a beer from the six-pack, giving it to her.

    „I haven’t seen you in a while. How are you, Tina?“

    I didn’t know why, but I had the feeling that I did not want to be alone that evening; I wanted to talk, wanted to take part in the life of another person. It wasn’t about feeling that there was still more outside there, or better to say just next door, than that stupid, monotonous everyday life of my small, bungled, crazy life. It was rather about living, or to feel for what completely different persons did in their lives, or perhaps also to experience, how they looked at me. Jenny was so different than I was. She had a natural childlikeness, which on one hand made her appear completely helpless and on the other hand I admired her for what she did. She lived her dream, she only ever wanted to write, wanted to report humanity of her thoughts, and even if she hadn’t that big success with it, Jenny never gave up…, she lived her dream.

    „Have I withdrawn too much?“ I asked her. And she looked at me with these so inimitable affectionate eyes and said „no, I can understand that. Basically I’m the same since that time.“„Since that time?“„, Since that time, when I first saw Marina. You know, she brought my life so completely out off course. Up to then I always knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted to marry Tim, wanted to be together with him, found a family. And during he would have celebrated his successes with his competitions, I could have been writing. Tim always supported me. He never asked whether I made money with it or how I thought of our future concerning it. I believe he just wanted me to be happy. So much he has loved me.“

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