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    One Day Soon (4)

    One Day Soon (4)

     

     

     

     

    Bette’s House, West Hollywood, 2007

    There, I said it. When she left for New York she hurt me. Suddenly, my body shudders, it feels colder in here than I ever remembered, then again my heart takes a dip as I recall it’s been an awfully long time since I sat on this couch by myself.

    We never could sit apart for very long, or be alone, be it here on the couch or in our bed, even out by the pool, anywhere really. Wherever one of us went the other would follow, like lovebirds. It occurs to me that the moment we started to drift apart was the exact same moment I stopped needing to always sit where she was sat, to follow or be followed, to live with my shadow.

    She’s such a beautiful shadow. We used to walk down the sidewalk hand in hand, the sun on our backs and I would gaze down at the outline of her frame, projected by the light onto the pavement in front of me. Her shadow; a sight I would recognise anywhere, tall and slender with a confident stride, her thick dark curls lagging behind in the breeze, I was always so proud to be beside her. She would laugh and pull me close, joking that my infatuation with her shadow showed I was really in love with her darker side, and with a devilish grin she would curl her lips and state, “I have an evil streak you know T?”

    Except I never thought she was perfect; she’s everything, certainly, everything and more but she’s never ever been perfect. Perfection is without flaws or faults, complete in its entirety, an ideal; she’s beyond perfect, she’s an absolute person, 100% of everything with the will to elate and the power to destroy, she’s no idea how utterly supreme she is. In my life with her I’ve gone through so many different phases; I worshiped her and everything she taught me, I pleasured her, I’ve tested and I’ve trialled her, and now I’m trying to equal her, it’s a new place for us both.

    I reach for the cord of the reading lamp, I’m straining to see and the darkness is hurting my eyes. She looks down on me from all around; the prints on the walls, the simple unfussy decorations, the pristine white running shoes that sit by the French doors, yet another thing she does now that I’m absent. I’m lying, slightly, when I tell her that she hurt me by leaving for New York, it’s only a half-truth. What hurt the most was knowing that for the first time in our lives she had somewhere else to go.

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    Comments

    1. (Mostly) silent reader popping my head up to tell you that I am enjoying your story and to ask if Bette stopped at Randazzo’s before heading to the beach?

    2. My three wishes, (1) Bette leaves Jodie, (2) Tina leaves men for good, (3) and this one is the most important one of the three, Tina tells Bette that she still loves her and wants her back. Now with that said, I love the emotions that you put into your words. Both stories are so good and I am glad that I get a chance to read them.

    3. wow, i get to be the first to rate and the first to comment. lucky me! sofa, that was frikin frakin beautiful. beautifully written, so poetic, such depth.

    4. Wow, sofasitter, it’s amazing how you’ve put into words, things that I thought I understood about these two, and more. Please feel free to continue to enlight us.

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