Chapter 7

The banging of pans startled Bette out of a deep slumber. She opened her eyes and immediately squinted as the light from the kitchen glared in her eyes. Bette looked around to gain her bearings before reaching for her watch, which was on the table next to the sofa bed. She strained to see the current time, her body still operating on a California schedule, and protesting the early wake up call.

“Babe?” Tina rolled over and squinted as the light hit her eyes. “What’s going on?”

“It’s not even 6 yet,” Bette mumbled putting a pillow over her head.

“My back feels like I’ve been laying in this bed an eternity.”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Bette mumbled from underneath her pillow.

“Did you sleep?”

“No, every time I moved these damn pants would fall to my ankles.”

“That’s the best I could do,” Tina defended herself. “While we’re out today we’ll buy some pajamas and you can give Dad his sweatpants back.”

“Lucky me,” Bette snuggled further under the covers. “Why am I hearing pots and pans this early in the morning?”

“Mom’s cooking,” Tina said.

“How long does coffee and bagels take?”

“Silly woman,” Tina said snickering. “That’s not even close to Southern food.”

“What is Southern food? It honestly sounds like a whole lot of frying.”

“Wow,” Tina snickered. “You’re a crabby pants this morning.”

“Well if I am, at least they’d be my pants,” Bette shot back.

“We’ll get you pajamas,” Tina said kissing the back of Bette’s shoulder, which was covered in a Yale t-shirt. “Aren’t you glad I brought an extra Yale t-shirt?”

“No,” Bette mumbled from under the pillow. “I would’ve been, but when your father asked why we had so many t-shirts from a pretentious school I became slightly self-conscious.”

“You should be proud of your education Babe.”

“I am,” Bette uncovered her head and picked it up to look Tina in the eye. “I just want to fit in.”

“You are Babe.”

“How can you say that with a straight face Tina Kennard?”

Tina snickered and rubbed Bette’s back in a comforting manner.

“They love you.”

Bette responded simply by mumbling under the pillow, which once again was over her head.

“I need more sleep, these damn pants kept me up most of the night.”

“Goodness I thought I heard voices,” Donna Kennard walked in with an apron on. “I’m glad you’re both up!”

Donna sat down on the mattress near Bette and put an arm around her pulling her in close and knocking the pillow off her head. Donna was already dressed for the day in a pair of Capri pants and a twin set. The outer shell of the twin set was tied around her neck in a perfect knot using the sleeves. She covered her clothes with a pink apron that had small pigs decorating each square inch of the material. The apron was complete with the saying ‘make reservations at 1-800-Grandma’ causing Bette to smile.

Bette, once again, placed a pillow over her head to block out the world around her. Her body was telling her under no set of circumstances was she ready to get up and begin her day.

“What are you kids up to today?” Donna removed the pillow causing Bette to close her eyes tighter.

“Going into town shopping and sight seeing,” Tina said happily.

“It’s a good thing I made breakfast then, you’ll need your energy.”

Bette groaned as she moved, her body protesting a night spent on the sofa bed.

“What do you say?” Donna tried to cheerfully prompt Bette into rising for the day. “You ready for a big Southern breakfast?”

“Where’s everyone else?”

“I’ll get them in a minute,” Donna said. “I thought you might want to get up first to make sure your pants haven’t fallen down during the night.”

“Thank you,” Bette said sincerely.

“You could wrap Dad’s sweat pants around your body twice and they’d still fall down!”

Tina snickered earning her a glare from Bette.

“You two get on up and get some juice in you while I wake everyone else up,” Donna said as she merrily trotted down the hallway.

Bette was first to rise holding onto the sweatpants that engulfed her. She tied them tighter around her waist, but still had to hold them up with one hand, as she made her way to the kitchen table and sat down with Tina beside her.

“What is all this?” Bette asked shocked at the amount of food crowded on the table.

“Breakfast,” Tina answered reaching for the eggs. “You want eggs Babe?”

Bette just shook her head no while she poured both her and Tina a glass of juice.

“I just need a bagel and some coffee.”

“I don’t think she has that.”

Tina grabbed two biscuits and drowned them in gravy making Bette grimace.

“I can just hear your arteries hardening.”

“It’s not that bad to splurge once in a while,” Tina said in a dismissive tone. “Can you please eat something more then a piece of toast?”

“You know I never eat a big breakfast.”

“But cooking is Mom’s thing,” Tina reasoned with her. “Please just eat some eggs so she doesn’t think you don’t like it.”

Bette sighed and put a small helping of eggs on her plate.

“Why are you so crabby?” Tina rubbed Bette’s back and smiled at her lovingly.

“You don’t want to know.”

“Try me,” Tina shot back.

“I honestly would rather not.”

“Why not?” Tina questioned.

“Because I end up sounding like a sex starved adolescent.”

“Is my Baby sex starved?” Tina said in a teasing manner. “You know I can take care of that.”

“Absolutely not!”

“What?” Tina seemed shocked by Bette’s reaction.

“Oh God!” Bette scoffed. “I’d never do that here!”

“Do what?” Jackie asked sitting down next to Tina.

“Nothing,” Bette mumbled cutting Tina off before she could share too much with her sister.

“Ok,” Jackie shrugged it off without a care. “What are we up to today?”

“Buying Bette pajamas,” Tina said trying not to smile.

“I know, right? How embarrassing was that?” Jackie laughed. “The look on Mom and Dad’s faces when you had to tell them you didn’t bring pajamas. Then to have to wear Dad’s pants when they keep falling down.”

“I hate being tall,” Bette muttered as she sipped her juice.

“I don’t mind that the pants fall off,” James said smiling at Bette causing her to stare him down.

“Have some grits Bette,” Tina offered to break her glare.

“What are they?”

“Ya know,” Tina snickered. “I really don’t know.”

“It’s an ancient Southern secret that nobody knows,” Jackie said.

Tina didn’t wait for an answer before she spooned grits onto Bette’s plate. She also put a gravy soaked biscuit on her plate. Bette tried to prevent the gravy from touching the other food on her plate, but the effort was futile and she gave up rather quickly.

The rest of the family came quickly to the kitchen and took their respective places at the table.

“How did you girls sleep?” Jonathon asked avoiding eye contact with Bette as she struggled to keep his sweat pants around her hips.

“It was ok,” Tina answered for both of them. “Is anyone else coming into town with us today?”

“I will if Mom will watch the kids,” Jackie offered.

“I was planning on staying here to finalize details for the party tomorrow,” Donna answered. “So it’s no problem to have Justin and Amanda stay with Papa and I.”

“I’ll work on the Taurus to get the oil changed,” Kevin offered. “Can you help me Dad?”

“Sure,” Jonathon drank a large glass of orange juice and dug into his eggs.

“What about you James?” Tina asked.

“Oh I wouldn’t miss shopping for clothes with you guys for the world,” James smiled. “I’ll be the designated package carrier for y’all.”

“I was thinking tonight we could go to the new bar they opened a few months ago,” Jackie suggested. “It’s supposed to be great for dancing.”

“If you know how to do the two-step,” James countered.

“What’s the name of it?” Tina asked.

“Diamonds and Spurs.”

“Why wouldn’t it be called that?” Tina chuckled. “Bette are you ok with that?”

“Sure,” Bette muttered as she shoved another forkful of eggs in her mouth.

Tina saw Bette struggling with eating her plate of food, given she wasn’t used to such enormous amounts of food so early in the morning.

“We should get ready if we’re all goin’ downtown,” Tina said. “Bette you want to get ready first?”

“Sure,” Bette smiled thankful for Tina providing an escape for her. “I’ll just hop in the shower.”

Bette pushed her plate away from her and smiled in Donna’s direction.

“Breakfast was wonderful,” Bette smiled. “Thank you Donna.”

Donna’s face was beaming at the compliment from Bette. She waived it off as if it was nothing, but inside she was busting at the seams.

Bette grabbed her suitcase with one hand and held her pants up with the other, quickly making her way to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day.

“Is breakfast ok?” Donna asked her children.

Each child provided their own accolades to their mother regarding her cooking giving her an extra boost of confidence for the day.

“She doesn’t eat much Tina.”

“She’s not used to eating breakfast.”

“What do you have in California?”

“Coffee and bagels mostly,” Tina answered avoiding her mother’s glare. “I eat better then she does.”

“She’s too thin,” Donna remarked. “Maybe this weekend we can get some meat on her bones.”

Tina smiled and just shook her head knowing it would be a mission of her mother’s to have Bette gain weight in a short amount of time.

“I’m going to check on Bette,” Tina headed back to the bathroom with a smile on her face. She knocked lightly and chuckled as Bette asked who it was.

“It’s me,” Tina whispered, opening the door and peeking around it.

“Tina!” Bette protested “I’m naked!!”

“Yeah, and I’m happy,” Tina replied, a sexy smirk crossing her features as she blatantly eyed Bette from head to toe. Tina walked closer and wrapped her arms around Bette’s waist.

“You survived breakfast,” Tina nipped at Bette’s lips causing a moan to escape from deep within Bette.

“Not will all my arteries unfortunately,” Bette smiled as she fought to control her reaction to Tina’s teasing. “We have to get coffee when we’re in town. I’m begging you to please let me have a cup.”

“Begging huh?”

Tina nipped once more at Bette’s lips and then moved down to her shoulder.

“Stop that,” Bette whispered.

“We have a few moments to ourselves, why not make the most of them?”

“Because it’s not happening and we both know that.”

“Well everyone will go to bed a little earlier tonight,” Tina rubbed her hands on Bette’s bare skin on her back.

Bette’s response was a cocked eyebrow shot in Tina’s direction as a warning to tread lightly.

“I need to get showered Tina,” Bette smiled.

“Nothing? You feel nothing right now?”

“I feel everything, but nothing will stop me from a much needed cup of coffee. So the sooner we are showered and dressed and on our way, the sooner I get that.”

Tina laughed as Bette maneuvered her out the door and shut and locked it behind her.

The Kennard house seemed to empty at an alarming rate leaving Donna and her grandchildren alone. As Justin and Amanda watched a movie, Donna enjoyed a cup of hot tea. She began to cross items off on her list entitled ‘last minute party preparations’, smiling with each item she had completed. She was so engrossed in her list that she hadn’t noticed that hours had passed and the movie was almost ending. The ringing of the doorbell, followed up with a knock, diverted her attention from the list to the front door.

“Who is it Grandma?” Justin asked before Donna even had a chance to open the door.

“Probably your Mom with her hands full of packages.”

Donna got up and opened the door quickly, the smile slowly fading away from her face as she stared at the unfamiliar faces gracing her doorstep.

“I’m sorry I thought y’all were someone else,” Donna said smiling. “Can I help you?”

“You must be Ma Kettle,” Alice said beaming from ear to ear smiling.

“I’m sorry Sugah?”

“I’m Alice, you may have heard of me?”

“No,” Donna shook her head.

Alice, Shane, and Dana stood before Donna Kennard staring at her as if she should know them. Donna looked from one of them to the other puzzled at who they were. Her eyes focused back on Alice and surveyed her outfit with no attempt at hiding her obvious perusal of Alice’s clothes.

“Are the pigtails over the top?” Alice asked sincerely.

“No,” Donna shook her head. “The shorts are a bit much.”

“Those are Daisy Dukes. I thought at least someone should make an attempt at wearing them.”

Dana shook her head completely embarrassed at the scene being played out in front of her. She felt the blush start at her neck and creep into her cheeks in record time.

“I’m Shane,” Shane held her hand out to greet Donna. “We’re friends of Tina and Bette’s from California.”

“Well come on in then,” Donna scooted back and allowed them to pass before her. “Tina and Bette should be back anytime now, so you’re welcome to wait here for them. Can I get y’all anything to drink while you wait?”

“Do you know where they went?” Alice asked.

“Shopping for pajamas for Bette.”

“Wow that’s something you don’t hear everyday,” Alice started to laugh.

“Al,” Dana nudged her in the ribs. “We can come back when they’re here.”

“Hogwash, any friend of Tina’s is a friend of ours.”

“Hogwash and pajamas?” Alice whispered to Shane and began to snicker. “This is going to be better then I thought.”

“What can I get y’all to drink?” Donna asked once more. “I need ya to repeat your names once more too. I know Shane, that’s all I caught.”

“I’m Dana Fairbanks,” Dana smiled and nervously began to tap her foot.

“I’m Alice, but you can call me Al like everyone else does. To be honest, I’m shocked we’re standing here!”

“Then please sit, I don’t need anyone passin’ out in my living room.”

Alice, Shane, and Dana sat down on the couch and smiled as Donna handed them each a glass of lemonade.

Alice brought the liquid to her lips and took a small sip, spitting it back into the glass and coughing.

“I’ll need some sort of sugar to go with this please,” Alice coughed out.

“Alice,” Shane admonished her friend quickly.

“It’s ok,” Donna got up and brought a sugar bowl back with her and a teaspoon and handed it to Alice. “So you’re all friends with Tina?”

“Yep,” Alice answered for everyone. “I used to date Bette too, but we’re in that best friend stage now.”

“Stop talking,” Shane said to Alice in a serious tone. “Just stop talking now.”

The door opened quickly causing everyone to look up at Tina flying through the doorway as she babbled about forgetting her wallet. She stopped mid-sentence as her eyes fell upon her friends sitting on the couch with her mother.

“What are you doing here?”

“Hey Tina,” Alice greeted her as if it were under the most normal set of circumstances.

“Hi,” Tina said hesitantly. “What are you doing here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“No, it really isn’t Alice.”

“Tina,” Donna scolded her in a motherly tone. “Your friends came to spend some time with you and I think you should greet them accordingly.”

“Tina?” Bette came rushing through the door wondering what was taking Tina so long to simply grab her wallet. “What’s taking so…”

Bette’s eyes fell upon their friends sitting on Donna’s couch and allowed her mouth to gape open.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well after you called…” Alice started to talk as Bette shook her head no from behind Tina.

“You called them?” Tina asked turning around to look Bette in the eyes.

“I asked Alice for a favor,” Bette said as she made eye contact with Alice to ensure she remained quiet.

“Can I talk to you outside for a moment Bette?” Tina walked past their friends and outside without waiting for an answer.

“What are you doing here?” Bette seethed as she got closer to their friends.

“I brought what you told me to bring!” Alice shot back.

“Please excuse me, I’ll be right back,” Donna said as she made her way outside to try to calm Tina down.

Bette watched as Donna walked out to the patio where Tina was pacing in anger.

“I told you to ship a piece of art! Not come down here!”

“It wasn’t going to make it in time unless we hand carried it,” Alice said calmly. “So I actually saved you $50 Porter and you should thank me!”

“How is that?”

“Well the cost of all of our tickets was $50 less then shipping the art here and having it not arrive on time,” Alice seemed proud with herself. “We charged it to your credit card by the way.”

“You….. my….. fine,” Bette rolled her eyes. “Why are you dressed in that ridiculous outfit?”

“Someone had to wear the Daisy Dukes to keep a tradition alive.”

“I could choke you right about now,” Bette said.

Her attention was diverted when Jackie and James came into the house in search of her and Tina.

“Excuse me while I go make this right and not a word about the shipment.”

Bette walked outside and smiled hesitantly as Donna and Tina stopped talking. Bette’s gaze met Tina’s angry one and she threw her hands up in surrender.

“Excuse us Mom,” Tina said in a monotone voice.

Donna said nothing, but offered her support as she walked by Bette and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Bette said once they were alone.

“You couldn’t survive one damn weekend with me and my family?”

“That’s not true,” Bette said calmly.

“Why are they here then? Why did you call Alice?”

“To get her to do a favor for me,” Bette defended herself.

“Come down here to save you?”

“I don’t need saving.”

“You weren’t very happy to come in the first place.”

“But I did,” Bette stepped up and put her hands on Tina’s bare arms to still her. “I put everything aside to come here with a show right around the corner because actions speak louder then words.”

Tina bit her bottom lip at Bette’s mantra making an appearance given the recent past where she drilled it into her head.

“I put it all aside to come here and sweat my ass off to simply see the smile that graces your face every single time you look at someone from your family.”

Tina blinked back tears as they threatened to cascade down her cheeks.

“Do you think I’d let my hair be like this because of the overwhelming humidity for just anyone?”

Tina smacked Bette’s arm as she began to laugh at her own question.

“Why are they here?”

“That I don’t know, given the favor I asked for wasn’t requiring them to be here.”

“What’s the favor?”

“Gallery stuff,” Bette said shaking her head to end the conversation. “You don’t want to hear about it. Let’s go back inside and make the most of the situation.”

Bette and Tina walked back inside to an apologetic Shane and Dana. Alice, on the other hand, was deep in conversation with Jackie and James.

“So what about this bar?”

“We should just get ready and go early to eat there as well,” Jackie suggested. “What do you think Tina?”

“Sure, if everyone else wants to and Mom doesn’t mind,” Tina shrugged and glared at Alice. “You behave!”

“I am!”

“You are not, look at that insane outfit you have on!”

“I’m wearing this to the bar,” Alice said in defiance.

“You kids go on and have fun,” Donna offered her support of the idea. “I’ve got a lot more last minute things to go over so we’ll order pizza from the corner.”

“I guess everyone is ready to go but me then,” Tina said. “I’ll go change quickly into some jeans since it gets cool at night.”

Tina walked into the bathroom with her suitcase in her hand and a small smile on her face. She was angry with their friends, but Bette’s heartfelt sentiments quickly defused those feelings and showed her a glimpse of the side of Bette that few knew.


Tina began to rummage through her suitcase when there was a knock at the door. She confirmed it was Bette and opened the door to invite her in.

“What’s up Babe?”

Bette stood staring at her reflection in the mirror with an unhappy look on her face. Tina wrapped her arms around her in an effort to comfort her.

“What’s going on Bette?”

“I guess I’ll just freshen up and wear this.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing,” Bette said in her defense. “But it’s a country bar given the name.”

“And?”

“Nothing,” Bette dismissed Tina once again.

“Babe?”

Bette raised her eyebrows to show Tina she was listening and expecting a question directed at her.

“You’ll be pleased to know, that in my infinite wisdom, I brought you a little piece of home.”

“What’s that?”

“I was hoping you’d miss these as much as I did and give up your stuffy linen pants,” Tina said as she pulled out an item from her suitcase that brightened Bette’s eyes up immediately.

“My jeans,” Bette smiled.

“Not any jeans Bette, they’re your Levi’s. The ones that fit your amazing ass so well,” Tina kissed Bette’s lips lightly and smiled as she pulled back to see Bette’s reaction.

Tina handed Bette the Levi’s and began laughing as Bette’s fingers lightly caressed the denim material in her hand.

“I even brought your boots Babe.”

“God I love you,” Bette smiled.

“Not as much as I love you in those jeans. Now hurry up and get ready.”

Tina walked out of the bathroom and back into the family room with everyone else waiting for Bette to announce it was time to leave.

Bette slipped her linen pants off letting them pool at her feet. She kicked them to the side, her sandals quickly following suit, and stood there in her thong. She grabbed a pair of socks from Tina’s suitcase and slid them on her feet. She stepped into the Levi’s and easily brought them up past her calves, over her thighs, and allowed them to rest on her hips before she began to slide the buttons into the holes to secure them in place. Her skin welcomed the worn denim, a small hole in the back of them where the pocket met the leg was just the familiarity she wanted in her jeans.

Bette slid one button, then another, into its hole with a smile on her face. Once the jeans were fastened, she spun around to look precisely where the hole was and admire the view others would see once she stepped out of the bathroom. She ran her fingers down the back pockets and then she shoved her hands into the side pockets to ensure that the pocket material wasn’t bunched up under the denim.

Bette slipped her boots on next, thankful for Tina’s forethought as well as a comfortable pair of shoes. Bette dug into Tina’s bag once more and found a long-sleeved white shirt and stripped her current shirt off to change into it. She dug further and found a grey Yale t-shirt and chuckled as she layered it over the white shirt.

“You and these damn shirts,” she muttered regarding Tina’s obsession with Bette’s Yale paraphernalia.

Bette quickly checked her make-up, and thankful it was still intact, she opened the bathroom door to make her appearance. Tina turned as she heard Bette’s boots against the hardwood floor.

“You ready?” Tina asked in a huskier tone.

Jackie turned around to look at her sister and enquire about the sudden change of her voice when she saw Bette standing before them.

“Jesus,” Jackie muttered quietly as she stood rooted to her current spot in the family room close to her brother.

“I won’t survive,” James muttered back.

Tina heard James and turned around to scold him. The look on his face, however, was priceless and she opted to let him ogle Bette all night as punishment.

“It’s the jeans,” Alice said loudly. “On an ass like that. Weapon of Mass Distraction.”

“Alice!” Bette scolded.

“Please not in front of my Mother,” Tina said in anguish.

“Am I right Donna?” Alice pushed her newfound friend for an answer. “An ass to die for right?”

“Um,” Donna stammered. “I suppose yes it is a nice behind if you look at other’s buttocks…”

Alice hugged Donna and laughed as she rubbed her back to put her at ease.

“Let’s go get hammered and jazz Hicksville up!” Alice shouted as she two-stepped out the front door and into the rental car she arrived in.