STATIC

The setting is a living room couch where seated from left to right are Shane, Mark and Jenny. Mark has a smirk on his face as the camera rolls.

Mark: Mark Wayland here, asking the really tough questions. So Jenny…do you ever get that not so fresh feeling?

Jenny has a look of disgust on her face as she rolls her eyes, shaking her head. Shane slaps Mark’s cranium with her left hand, removing his smirk.

Mark: Ow!

STATIC

"Doo doo doo doo, doo-doo, do-Wah!"

Tonya looks annoyed in bed as Dana kisses her on the forehead, on her way to the fitness center, leaving Tonya with Dana’s faithful cat, Mr. Piddles eyeing her from the end of the bed. Dana exits and Tonya pierces her eyes at the cat.

"It doesn’t matter what comes, fresh goes better in life, with Mentos, fresh and full of life."

Tonya mutters incoherencies to herself as Mr. Piddles looks on. Tonya then looks over by the bed to discover a roll of Mentos candy. She picks the roll up.

"Nothing gets to you, staying fresh, staying cool, with Mentos, fresh and full of life."

Popping a piece of Mentos into her mouth, a smile of certainty forms from Tonya’s lips. Mr. Piddles’ eyes suddenly widen in terror as Tonya smiles sadistically at the cat.

"Fresh goes better, Mentos freshness, fresh goes better with Mentos, fresh and full of life!"

Time fastforwards as a crying Dana grieves her suddenly dead cat, dropping the cat and falling into Tonya’s arms, mouthing the words, "Marry me!"

"Mentos, the freshmaker!"

Tonya wraps her right arm around Dana while giving a wide smile to the camera, holding the roll of Mentos candy with her left hand.

STATIC

Candace is reading an ad in the newspaper. Afterwards, she lowers the paper, facing the camera with a confused expression.

Candace: So easy, a carpenter can do it???

STATIC

Max stands ready for battle, holding his deactivated lightsaber in hand. His adversary enters in a black cape.

Ivan: And so it comes to pass.

Max: Yeah.

Ivan: That’s all you’re gonna say?

Max: Yep.

Ivan: Then…let us battle!

Ivan activates her lightsaber, which forms a bright red electric dildo. Max then activates his, which is bright blue.

Ivan: Hmmm…I see yours is as big as mine.

Max: It’s not the size, it’s the accuracy.

Ivan and Max lunge at one another, their lightsaber dildos clashing against one another.

STATIC

BETTY takes the stage.

STATIC

Mark sits in front of his camera, sporting a black eye and bloody nose.

Mark: And to all the fellas…try not to ask too many dumb questions….okay? Good night.

STATIC