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Daily, together and apart # 21
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Previously
“I can’t lose her… I can’t… I… We…We… have a date tomorrow… We are going to talk… To make things up …To get together …” She talked. She couldn’t arrest the words inside of herself.
That was the moment Tina faced one of the most painful truths of life: when you finally saw/felt/deal/distinguish that time wouldn’t give you, free will, another day. Another minute. Another try. You couldn’t wait for tomorrow to tell her of that love. You have to say it. From the heart. Tina’s thoughts came out bitterly. It seems that I was never afraid of hurting, shouting, fighting to the one I love. But I was afraid of tell her that I love her. That I miss her. You couldn’t wait next day to talk, to reconnect, to forgive, to share, to enjoy, to date, to live. No rest in expectation. No postponing. You couldn’t wait for tomorrow.
Tomorrow would never come.
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Bette felt some movement. She could sense that something was happening, but her thoughts were now tied to engaging memories. Those memories would keep you alive. That’s what, at least, Bette dreamed. Before this conclusion, nonetheless, she randomly and endlessly was brought towards the dark side.
She could recognize the cool emptiness of the worse pain of all: the absence of the ones you love. The possibility of the obligation to depart without finishing the plans or even saying goodbye.
The minute she saw Tina moving, sobbing out of the car, she felt deeply alone. Alone, in such abandon, she, Bette Porter never would recognize being her own. A feeling of despair, finitude, departure. The moment you became past. The instant the picture took the place of the women and the memory assumed the stories´ narration. I am for she was. She could see all Tina’s despair reflected in the deep of her soul, when she dove into those pools moments ago.
And her heart skipped the first beat of three.
Bette would never forget the power of Tina’s eyes. She loved the long, black, painted eyelashes guarding that beautiful view. She loved to see how it could reflex her unspoken words. Bette loved to see all the dresses Tina’s eyes wore to amuse her. But now at that very moment, lost and precisely in time, Bette was agonizing to the thought of the size of her missing, the dimension of her sorrow if she had to go away.
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Dear BrazIf you are more easily persuaded by carrrots than sticks I hereby serve you a carrot.I promise you a happy life and peace on earth if you include the following’predictions’ for the next chapter:1. Bette has been badly injured!!The injury being an even tighter body and a hulk-like sexual appetite;-)2.Tina has seen the light and become a born-again nymphomaniac.3.Sometimes B&T can include third parties i.e. nurses, in their relationship and not have a romantic meltdown …How about it Braz??;-)
“Babe…we’r here. … Just don’t give up, on us…Just don’t give up,keep posting” lol That was just incredible, compelling and …
OK that was just wrong to leave it at that point. Bette is a fighter if she knows Tina is there willing her to she will come back. PPS
Your writing is so vivid and moving…wow…Bette’s a fighter, I hope she pulls through…pps
Okay, so I see threats don’t work with you!! Another great one Braz. I found your response to commenters quite humorous as well. Hopefully we get another update like real soon!!! That would be great!
Your writing is phenomenal Braz. What a wonderfully sad chapter. All I can do is hope and resound the same plea that Tina has given…please…oh please!
Braz, babe.. You if Bette dies, I’ll never forgive you? EVER..! :) No pressure.. :)
Achem.. I already commented.. and then I commented again :( SORRY! xx
Braz!!! OMG, I’m just sitting on the edge of the seat, wow umm I’m just going to wait and pray things don’t take a turn for the worst. What an “EMOTIONAL” chappy this is, Great Job babe!PPS!!!!!
Ah, you delighted me crossing my paths in “Highsmith Avenue” in Waterloo, Iowa ! (lovely ! *wink*) How great to meet someone who obviously loved this story too. You know, this book is truly special to me for years – because it helped me at the very moment I so much needed it… I already was a huge admirer of Highsmith’s fascinating work and personality, but The Price of Salt emphasised this feeling, adding gratefulness to it. *** And I will try to answer to your question without too much pathos : yes , I found my Carol Aird indeed (“Carol in a thousand cities”) – a lot of years ago. But only in my heart – not in my life. For she’s, like Carol, blonde and married and a mother. And straight – alas for me. Nevertheless, I’m blessed enough to share with her the most beautiful and deepest friendship one can dream to know, and for that I’m truly happy – even if I couldn’t deny how much years and sorrow it took to reach such wisdom ! Well, I had to – for I cannot consider my life without her. As simple a that. *** That certainly explains why themes like the ones you’re writing about right now touch me so deeply… One never knows what tomorrow will bring. Everything essential, above all the ones we love, can be snatched out of our lives forever in a second… That’s exactly the excruciating thoughts your Tina has to endure here and god knows how totally broken I’d be if ever such unbearable event should happened to me… *** You accomplish such a great work in this chapter, it truly moves me – deeply… The so vivid and acurate way you depict things here : how distorted time can be when each second is that weighty, how different are emotional reactions of everybody involved (Tina’s annihilation, Alice’s agitation, Bette’s slow disconnection, etc.), how painful and unbearable wait is (timeless, as you so rightly wrote)… This chapter is so powerful, I even wonder if you had to cross a similar drama yourself… Anyway, I felt so much involved that the door’s sound also shattered me. But I simply cannot imagine our Bette’s death, so that’s why I keep hope ! … Or you would have to bring our favorite lovebirds into a kind of Matheson’s What Dreams May Come TiBette adaptation ! (*grin*) Many, many thanks for such an accomplished and endearing story, dear talented author. I wish you all the best ! – A. —– P.S.: “I will love the light for it show me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars” : what a beautiful and powerful quote, I love it. Searching through internet for the origin of it, I not only discovered Og Mandino but noticed that his second wife’s name was… Bette ! Did you know that ?? ^_^
Oh, I forgot your second question, dear Braz : “Am I not reading some story of yours ?” No, until now I only wrote for myself – and especially, these last months, about this personal process I have to achieve. In fact, the only text I posted in this wonderful site was an editorial, months ago. But, who knows ? Perhaps one day will I dare to write something else ! ^_^
Bette don’t leave Tina and Angelica now, come back to your family
This is a great emotional rollercoaster story, please don’t let Bette die, now that her and Tina have come back together, please also post the next chapter like as soon as possible and not to keep us hanging to long.
Oh God. I have quite a number of tissues uses. My heart cries. Bette’s soul has triumphed over its body at the moment. I beg you on knees, let Bette fulfill Tina’s wish to survive and live. Let Tina receive the message that Bette is seriously injured but stable and that she will survive. I plead you und slip on my knees und beg you by my heard, let Bette alive. I need my B&T Forever
Hey girl, it’s not fair!!!Ithink you’ll be good girl and won’t kill our beloved Bette,will you? post sooner,please.bjs.
Argh, look what u did with that silly sentence”Bette took the whole for what it would be. Maybe, she never saw them again. Her family: her beloved wife, her dearly daughter, her sister and Angus, her friends. Her family.”I shet tears, TEARS, u hear me., damn u…lol This chapter was very emotional and u better leave Bette unharmed from any ugly scars in the future, u cant mess up that woman..got me?? Good;)I cant say that i will sit patiently here till the next chapter, i am so sitting on hot coles…so errrrmm would u pls hurry a bit?:) thx
Braz, your writing moves me so very much. The choice of words, the placement, the hesitation, everything is brought to life in a way that I have come accustomed to…your way. You are a pleasure to read my friend. Thanks so much for everything. The last email, what can I say? You moved me once again. The depth that you have is incredible. Thank you for sharing your creative gift with me. Those two absolutely defined perfection. xoxox talk soon.
Damn that was powerful! The emotions expressed by a “surviving” Bette including the support and love she pulled from Tina was so beautifully written, it took my breath away. Very very nice.
Braz, That was very powerful and so hard to read. You woman had me in tears. You better not kill Bette off. I do hope that Tina’s wish comes true. I am so with Stroke of luck on this. Thanks PPVS
very well writen !! but i still hope you’ll let bette live !? plz plz update again very soon !
If you let Bette die, I’ll never forgive you, Braz! I was behind so I’ve just read these chapters back to back and I can tell you, when you do that it’s even more heart-wrenching than taking it one chapter at a time.
Come on, let Tina see Bette again, if any one can bring her back she can. They can’t lose each other.
I know in my heart that if she could Bette would not leave the love of her life and the daughter that means the world to her. When she heard those words from Tina she knew that she had to give it her all to keep what is rightfully hers (Tina and Angelica). Even though this a rollercoaster ride I can not stop reading this story. It is painful but yet full of love.
WOW GR8 STORY ALOT OF EMOTIONS GOING ON CANT WAIT TO READ MORE PPS THANKS FOR SHARING….
u let bette die and I’ll hunt u down…lmao
… what I meant, huh ?… well, since Rau is in the southern Pacific (if I’m not mistaken), an I being in Europe, and a lot of others from all around the world… you’ll have nowhere to hide, unless you already booked your seat on the next space shuttle ;-)) —- apart from that, your writing is superb, and the story is very emotional… but I won’t stand a sad issue… I’m in such a poor nervous state right now that I couldn’t stand it…. so pleeeaaaase… you know what you’ve got to do… bombass just gave you some options which could be fine with me ;-))
Braz has your body guard pleaseeee don`t kill Bette! Pleaaaaseeee!I will continue to protect you but don`t kill Bette!After all I am already at home!And now i´m sad i didn`t think that this would happen to Bette! When you told me that something bad would happen I never tought that it was this!But I am your body guard and I´m not unfaithfull to my boss! Great chapter and PPS
Thanks for your nice reply. Also thanks for Bette is alive. Bette will truly make it – right?! This chapter has also strong emotional Scenes – great writing. Has stirred me deeply. Now please, let Jodi go to hell. Because Bette will always call only after Tina. This will show Jodi that Bette’s whole hearts loves her T. Please post very soon. Love your Story.
Damn this is make me cry and please don’t let Bette go let her come back to Tina!