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Me, I’m Not….11
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Me, I’m Not…….11
Ch 19
“You can’t leave Helena….you just can’t.”
Shane her warm hands, moist with anxiousness. She implored me to stay. I gave in to weakness. Carmen, she seemed to want me to stay as well. The rain had returned marking the moment, making everything all too real. I reached for the bottle and had a healthy sip. It no longer burned, it soothed.
“I am flattered girls…really I am. But there is no reason for me to stay to here…..”
“Helena…..there is a reason….”
“Really Shane…..” I couldn’t finish.
“Really…..we all owe each other something…..don’t you think?”
The question hung in the air like a mist.
“I think Shane is right.” Carmen said suddenly.
“Well then….I supposes I am out numbered….”
“Yeah….” Shane said smoking another cigarette. Soon I would have to get her a new pack. We all listened to the rain, to the wind that blew behind it. The wet footsteps on the pavement below us, the fat drops pelting the roof on top of us.
“Shane……you could have told me…..I would have listened…..I would have understood.” Carmen said to her their eyes never breaking from each other.
“I was trying to be normal…..I was trying to forget……trying to be somewhere else.”
“That day……when I asked you who hurt you, when you had that black eye…..was that really about me?”
Shane laughs. A small laugh. I didn’t know what they where referencing. Some past moment….just the two of them.
“Yeah…that day………that day…I came home…it was uh….early….and you and Jenny….well…I could hear you….you know….I could hear what was going on….thin walls………So I went out to the couch….and put some music on, loud music so I wouldn’t have to hear you…..and I had my vitamins as I liked to call them….and then you woke me up….well no….Jenny woke me up…..I didn’t know you where there till you started talking….anyway it was something you said to the effect of not waiting around for me anymore……so I went to get trashed….and I picked a fight so to speak….I think that you not being around was scary……yeah…”
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Awesome. Have I ever mentioned how much I love the way you write? So fricken real. Like, I’m right there sitting in that hotel room. I can almost smell the rain. And I’m not just blowing smoke. (Oh, btw, the blank page wasn’t a big deal. . . just something that came to mind after reading “tbc” on the third page. No worries. The three pages you did write were fricken great.) * * * * *
Totally second Bum’s comment. Oh how I love this story… *****
negativebl1ss:oh i do so wish you would take that stick out of your ass so that i could have the pleasure of shoving my foot up it :D I think you’ve been completely disrespectful coming into what is undoubtedly a sharmen fic and leaving negative comments. here’s the thing: you don’t have to read! and like komakino said, let those of us who come in day after day just to check on an update from NDF ‘enjoy it in peace’NDF: YOU ARE AWESOME!!! and thank god you don’t let anyone tell you different. you’ve handled the situation so gracefully it just makes me love you and your fics even more than before :)
Luv’d Shane’s explanation of her life. She’s not trying to justify anything but only letting Carmen know thats just how it was. Its no secret that Negativebl1ss constantly bashes the Carmen character on different sites, no biggie, to each their own. NDF, you write it, your fans will be there.
I eager to read Grey Hotel too but this story is my first one these days. And you dont be sorry for blank pages cuz it’s all fault of this site. Pretty some writers have problems to upload fics on it. BTW thanks for the “TBC”. I am more excited that you would update again.
^ o.OAnyway, I love your writing and your stories and hope you never stop!
Don’t believe the smoke all the Sharmens try to blow up your ass. Your fic is mediocre at best and embarrassingly execrable at worst. Total garbage.
Uh-oh. Looks like somebody didn’t take her nap and is a little cwankyyy. =( “Don’t believe all the smoke. . . . Total garbage.” This is where I’d start defending NDF tooth and nail (not that you need anyone to defend you, NDF), but I think the fact that *so many* of us keep reading all her stuff faithfully speaks for itself. And if the stuff NDF writes is ‘garbage’ then call me ‘Jenny’ or ‘Max’ because I, apparently, like to wallow in it. (HAH! I’m a jerk. Okay, I’ll stop scratching the bug bite now). . . (Oh, Grey Hotel, you’ll be remembered fondly. It was fun while it lasted.)
negativebl1ss: first of all we’re not “Sharmens”, we’re people, second: if you don’t like something, let other people enjoy it in peace if they do, third: fuck you :)
New Dawn Fades, do you write for a living? Your words are so magnetic.I’m so sad about “Grey” but I understand that the muse of that story is no longer with you. *****
Hi! I’ve been reading your fics from the beginning, in whichever ride you have totally got me hooked on. But I haven’t gotten around my lazy ass to say that before because I so suck at English and I’m a selfish ass with a shyness problem. So, here’s the deal: still reading it (right at this very moment rooting like crazy for a DA’s sequel) still loving every bit of it. Keep riding your emotional waves and THANK YOU!!! And, I do NOT smoke.. ;)
I like Shane when she’s honest with her feelings. Carmen needed to know this things. I’m still curious about those sheets!Oh, check you pm again:)