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    Daily, Together and apart # 30

    Story written on October 7, 2007 by Braz.
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    48 votes, average: 3.67 out of 548 votes, average: 3.67 out of 548 votes, average: 3.67 out of 548 votes, average: 3.67 out of 548 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5 (48 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 16
    Words: 3283
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=67104
    Author Notes:

    “I had to dislodge you from my body. I had to take you out of me again…You, your scents, your words, your touch that came so easily…. and occupied like a flood… all the spaces in me. Like …I felt like the trees after a tempest. The scents of the earth perfuming the air. A refresh air. My lands were ploughed with kindness. Your love, your need, your caresses and I was ready to let it sprout. …The depths of your love inside me. The happiness of my soul for being inside of you. The fusion… And …I had to dislodge you from my body.”

    Previously
    Bette, who was watching her own hands found Tina’s eyes. The blonde searched her hand across
    the table.
    “It is ok…It’s in the past… But I have to tell you…I want to give you my impressions.
    To me, since your accident, nothing else matters. Nothing… I just want to tell you what is in my heart… what consumed my thoughts… what disconcerted my soul…”


    ************************************************
    Bette nodded.

    “God! I was so mad…so…so mad with you…And then I became a sad woman. And I also, victimized myself, for sure. Because if I didn’t, I’d have to lead with things of the past that hurt me and pulled the trigger to some kind of guilty mechanism. If I stopped to think, I would have to face that present that I had also helped to build with my excuses. Please just listen to me. When I was young I had two abortions.” She didn’t look Bette in the eye. “The first one when I was 17 and the second when I was 23. I did both because I wanted to. It was not the right time, neither the right partner. This came with you.” And she looked into Bette’s pools and saw the question floating.

    “I don’t know, Bette…I don’t know why I didn’t tell you… I don’t know…But when we lost our child I thought, I know that this sound insane, or whatever…, but I thought I was being punished. Yeah…these two thousand years of religious brain washing got me! I felt guilty and alone. I felt I was responsible for losing our babe and me…I… didn’t know how to share this weight with you.” Tears began to roll from her eyes. Bette caressed Tina’s hand. Her own tears began to run freely. “I was so confused… So confused…”

    “But, babe… I was there…”

    “No, Bette… You weren’t. You suffered as much as me, but…but you didn’t realize that we had to begin to change our lives. The truth is, I don’t think we were mature enough to have a child. You worked all the time and I…Jesus…How did I do that? … I …stopped working! For Christ sake!” Tina got mad with herself.

    “Don’t be so harsh with yourself, dear…”

    “I’m not… But I was a fool. I was not sick…I wanted to be pregnant! Besides the more I stayed home, the more I missed you and the more I expected you to be home around six, around me.”

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    Comments

    1. Boss… Another perfect chapter! I don´t even have words to express it!You already now if you need protection I will protect you! It´s my job xDPPS

    3. Okay I finally caught up with the last few chapters. Man, this reliving the past is hard on Bette. At least Tina is telling her why she did all those mean things to Bette. Hopefully they can move forward and onto new and better times.

    4. Oh, god… how painful this kind of journey back to every sources of their scars can be… I can really feel how sweltering is the air in this room right now… But as sorrowful and even unbearable these recollections are, they’re quite necessary to evacuate all the pain, to not let any question hidden – and so to build their future life together on much better basis. It’s always so easy to only let love speaks, but one need a lot of courage to bring all the remorses and regrets on the table… Oh but what a priceless reward at the end of the journey ! It worths everything painful, for no true love story can blossom without a total honesty and a clear adjust from time to time. *** Dear Braz, even when I’m not present in the comments place because some life problems absorb me, just know that I never stop – and will never stop – to be your faithful and delighted reader. This story of yours is quite a masterpiece of acurate analysis and you already know how deeply I love it. Thank you so much for everything, my dear talented author ! ^_^ – A.

    5. Brazzzzz…Mm-mmmm…reliving the past can be SOOO very painful babe. However, there is DEFINATELY a need to be honest, forthright, and look at the past in a healthy way in order to go forward with that person who wants you, and you them. It’s a hard thing, but its the right thing. Thanks sweetie. xoxox

    6. Few last words yet : it was my absolute pleasure to send my vote to you regarding two awards categories – above all for this “unsung heroes award” you’d deserve so much – and now I’m crossing fingers and toes for your success !! You’re such a wonderful author, my dear Braz.

    7. WOW,strong words here Braz, but if it helps to move on then let it be. Oh yea, what did you say about moaning?Come on Braz put those fingers to use and….umm….type the next chappy!!!Thanx for posting babe!!!!PPS

    8. That was a well needed conversation despite how painful. Bette needs a time out as well as Tina to sort out her feelings. Open up a bottle of wine (I’m sure Bette can’t drink right now) and a bottle of water and let the take a deep breathe.

    10. Ouch… that really hurts… I won’t deny the cathartic effect of this necessary journey back, but it really hurts :-( Now, let’s hope that they will find the force to build again, after cleaning the place of all those memories ?… Please post soon, cause that one left me just… down… so very down……

    11. Oh… and about your “sleeping under the full moon” advice you gave : nice photo :-) And I agree with you very much, it’s something quite magical : I had the luck to leave “under the roof” for years, and I placed my bed just under the window, so I had the moon and the stars just above me… it’s just the most beautiful and peaceful sight one can dream of – well, it’s not as peaceful during a storm, but what a pleasure to be able to admire a storm when you are safely in your warm (and dry) bed :-) — and what I loved above all was making love under the complice gaze of the full moon… well hasn’t the Moon always been the friend of lovers, since the highest antiquity ;-)) “The gleaming stars all about the shining moon /Hide their bright faces, when full-orbed and splendid /In the sky she floats, flooding the shadowed earth /with clear silver light.” (Sappho)and also… http://www.sacred-texts.com/cla/sob/sob019.htm

    13. Lol..I meant T said “I love Bette, I love who she is, its what makes her…? [my question mark; becuz to me like us all Bette is an evolving creature of creation & I love her & Tina equally] pps

    14. HELL!!!! This is savagely brutally honest and yes Bette needs to accept her part in the fact that T’s hurt, her shame over Bette’s infidelity soon after she lost the baby, just when she had struggled to get up off her knees again, BETTE PULLED THE RUG UNDER FROM UNDER AND EXPECTED INSTANTLY TO BE ABLE TO SAY ‘SORRY’ AND T would both fuck and forgive her. Doesn’t work like that and revenge is a dish best served cold. B got to feel what T felt. Harsh medicine.So she’s jealous? so what? Eat humble pir, suck up, forgive yourself and accept a no holds bar adult equal relationship with Tina!!! or am I now being harsh? as Tina said “I love Bette, I do, I love who she is rich, it’s what makes her?” Great story, Dramatic!!!

    15. This is where FF beats the TV show. We can see them talk in FF unlike on the show where a lot is crammed into 12 episodes and a lot is also glossed over.

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