What am I doing? Is this really happening? I stare at myself in the mirror in a tux. I’m in an actual tux.  Am I really going to go through with marrying her? Am I doing this out of sadness? Am I doing this because I don’t want to die alone like Dana did? I love Carmen with all my heart, but what my bastard of a father told me that I’m a McCutcheon, and we’re alike. Was he telling the truth? I can’t let myself get close with anyone because all I do is push them away. All I do is find myself a chick, get in her bed, fuck her and go on my way. Carmen broke me out of that, but I made a mistake with sleeping with Cherie at her beach house. I don’t know how Carmen put up with me after that, but she decides that cheating on me with someone else would make us even. I still feel like shit after I cheated on her with Cherie, but Cherie (Jaffe or whatever the hell her last name is) was the first woman I’ve actually loved. I was ready to live the rest of my life with her, but she didn’t. She pushed me away and that’s why I had a wall blocking my heart.

BUT she comes out of nowhere and throws a wrench in my fuckin’ life, but I can’t blame her. I have to blame myself because I went to her and slept with her as Carmen slept on the couch waiting for me to come home. Before we all knew it, Dana died. My world crumbled around me and I wanted to die right along with Dana. The pain was so horrible inside of me, and the only way I thought it would go away was purposing to Carmen.  Carmen said yes, and I so happy for the time being. Now, I stand here in this hotel in Whistler staring at myself in this damn tux. My friends are waiting for me to marrying this woman who I thought is the right one for me. There was a knock on the door, and Alice walks in.

“Hey, what are you doing? Everyone is waiting for you.” She smiles.