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I Take All The Blame
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It had been hours. Bette hadn’t called her back. She hadn’t even sent a text. Helena, after leaving Alice, drove to Bette’s house. She climbed the stairs, she knew something wasn’t right. She knocked on the door.
Bette opened the door to Helena. She stood there in a pair of panties and a long sleeved, blue t-shirt. The inside of the apartment was dark.
”What are you doing here?” Bette asked. Her hair was all messy.
“I phoned you, but you didn’t answer. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. What’s going on Bette?” Helena reached into the apartment and flicked the light switch on the wall. She looked down at Bette’s wrists. They were covered by the sleeve, but the blood seeped through, leaving dark red blotches on the blue fabric, “What happened?” Bette backed away and let Helena in.
“You know Peggy and Melvin are getting a divorce.”
“Yes, that’s what I called to talk about.”
“Melvin showed up to make sure I knew who’s fault it was.”
“Oh, God, Bette. I’m so sorry. God, I wish I was here.” Bette could see the guilt in her eyes rising rapidly.
“It’s okay. I dealt with it.”
“That’s dealing with it?” Helena pointed at Bette’s arms, “That’s not dealing with it. That’s making that shit worse.”
“I’m okay Helena. Really, who are you to talk you’re an alcoholic.”
“Fuck you!” Helena pushed Bette’s shoulders and Bette stumbled back slightly. When she saw that Bette wasn’t falling back far enough, she shoved her again. Bette gripped her wrists and held her before she could push her again.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” She rotated her wrists so she could squeeze Bette’s wrists, directly over the wounds she inflicted on herself, “Ow…shit!”
“Now, we’re even.” Helena smiled as Bette nursed her wounds, “I’d gladly give up booze for the rest of my life, if that meant you’d never cut yourself again.” Helena began taking her coat and shoes off, “How was the interview?”
“Great. I got the job, but I have to create a show for January with all my artists confirmed by Monday.”
“Sounds stressful, but I’m sure my mum will help. Speaking of my mum, she knows about us.”
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Hello Ash, that is so deep… so so deep… I can relate to being in a place so dark that you can’t see the light… you just feel like you are drowning in nothingness. Taking pills to help you forget you even exist, and the temptation to turn your own hatred into a physical reminder is so very present. I think that this is a good step for Bette to confide in someone like this, she should tell Helena soon but also allow Helena to deal with her own vices, maybe she should go to Peggy have her be her mediator, wow just so powerful. Sincerely, JC
Very very heavy Ash but well done. Can I call you sweetie? Well done sweetie!
Finally, a realistic fic. Yeah, ok. I like the fluffy stuff but this stuff.. The angst and drama.. That’s always good to read. Good job, Ash. X
This is tough stuff, but Bette needs to revisit her past in order to to heal herself. Your depiction of that process and Bette’s painful history is compelling to say the least.
wow, great stuff. i’m so behind on my reading, but i had to get to this one before hitting the hay. fantastic ash, can’t wait for the next installment!
yikes…great writing on a tough issue…
Hey ash, been working and finally caught up with your latest chapter and I loved it….loved how Helena and Bette can argue but still love one another and be as honest as they can, I do hope that Bette w/the help of the therapist will make her tell Helena the truth about her past w/Melvin.
Hey ashtuck,So happy to seea nother chapter of this great fic but what a horrible turn for Bette. Now we know why she is so screwed up. In her case it was a big misfortune to be daddy’s little girl. Melvin is even more of a creep then i originally thought. I just hope Bette finds a way to open up to Helena so she can help her ex stepsister/would be girlfriend get through this difficult time. At least it seems as if Melvin won’t have a snowballs chance in hell of winning custody of the 2 girls; if Kit, Peggy, Helena and Bette have any say about it anyway. PPS!
heavy!!!!!!!!!!!!
You’ve touch alot of bases of the human spirit,and what we would do to attain perfection. Flaws are a part of life. Some good, some bad, but we all have them. Melvin is far from being perfect by any means. His narrow minded attitude is unacceptable and should not be allowed. Many have tried too live up to standards that where just too high or die trying. Bette is doing the right thing by talking to someone. And just maybe she will get the strength to let Melvin go. Life is too short to put up with this kind of crap. We all need a chance at being happy. Great update!