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How could you forget us? Chapter 16
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Chapter 16.
Tina arrived at the restaurant slightly before Bette and was waiting off to the side in the lobby. Bette didn’t see her when she came in and appeared to be very agitated entering the restaurant. Tina thought this did not look too good of a start for the evening.
“Bette over here”.Bette was wearing a form fitting sweater and jeans that showed her gentle curves and toned body. Even with this simple outfit Tina found her stunning. Tina called her attention. They hugged slightly and kissed each other on the cheek. Tina asked “Are you okay?”
“Yes, I wasn’t paying attention and almost ran a light getting here. I almost hit a little old lady in the cross walk.”
“Oh my God, that sounds horrible.” Rubbing Bette’s arm, Tina asked, “Are you okay? You seem so upset. It seems you have a lot on your mind.”
“Yes I do. This has not been a good day for me.”
They were brought to their table when Tina tried to understand what else was going on, “Sorry to hear that. What is going on?”
Rolling her eyes and sitting at the table. Bette contemplated if she should tell Tina. This was not exactly a great source of pride for her. “It’s nothing” Then shaking her head and with a heavy sigh she responded, “That’s not true. It’s something, It’s a lot. I was told to take a leave of absence at work. It seems I am not representing the university well.”
“What did you do?”
“Fuck you at Phyllis’ house and not cover it up well. That’s the bottom line.”
Holding Bette’s hand, “Bette I can’t believe they would bring disciplinary action against you for that.”
Bette pulled her hand away as she responded, “It’s not just that. It’s a lot of things Tina. I guess that was the final straw. But that’s not why I am here.” Biting her lip in anticipation, “Should we order something to eat?”
“Actually I am not very hungry. My stomach has been in of knots anticipating this conversation.”
“Yeah I was nervous coming over here too. But I need to try to right some wrongs and since what happened between us seems to be the central point of what’s gone wrong for me lately I thought it was best I start with that.”
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C’est la vie.
Hello Squirl, I have often felt that Bette’s whole life revolved around her feeling of impending abandonment, she was not only abandoned by her mother, but at the same time her father. He was the only person she had to look up to when her mother had left and he held her down, never showing her compassion or love, always showing her the hard side of life. I can feel Bette’s pain that abandonment is so consuming that sometimes we don’t even realize that it has happened we bury it within ourselves until it becomes apart of us and we can’t even realize it. You handled this with such power, it evokes memories of my very own past. You are brilliant as always. Sincerely, JC
Ok, I definitely am glad to see Bette taking the time to look into herself and find out why she lets destruction take over her happiness. I do believe Tina hit the nail on the head about her mother. I am glad to see that Tina didn’t react in anger or destructive behavior and that they have come to an understanding and closure of sorts.Now I truly hope that Bette can reach Helena and start to make amends. Hopefully, Helena can find it in her heart to let Bette have a second chance.
that was great squirl…wowsies on bette being called on her politics and on the whole passing issue…its one of the more interesting parts of the show, for me, especially given JB’s commentary here and there on the issue in reality..i think that all along, this story has been a really interesting tale, and the twists and turns of it are great. i look forward to seeing how bette digs herself outta the rut she’s occuping. pps:)
Glad to see Pam and Tina together! I didn’t want Pam or Tina to get hurt by Bette’s behavior. I also want Bette to get help so she and Helena can be happy together. This chapter rocked!
I have always thought that her mother’s and Kit’s abandonments of her and her father’s insistence that she be perfect, yet still not loving or accepting her is the core of who Bette really is..inside she is a little afraid child. I am glad to see that she finally told Tina to keep her hands off and that she loves Helena. I noticed that when Tina was talking about moving in on her, after, I want to add, as it said in that chapter that Bette was just giving her a caring hug after Tina started crying, that it just felt right to TINA. The creed she lives by if ever there was one. At that moment, Bette should have said, did you care at all about me? Also, this was just a few days ago, tops, that Tina was trying everything she could do to “win Bette back” and then five minutes later it’s all about Pam? Especially tonight…see ya Bette, hi Pam, let’s do it…Can no one see a pattern of say, flightiness or fickleness in Tina’s emotions? Now about the racial thing, and forgive me if I sound like an ass, but to me “passing” sounds like trying to be someone you aren’t…and IMO, I don’t think it’s necessary to tattoo this or that facet of one’s identity on their foreheads, whether it being black, gay, whatever, when people are just trying to live their lives. What right do Tasha and Pam have to say anything about how black Bette “should” act, or that she wasn’t black enough?? I also agree that Bette would never use the race card. I had the same opinion when Yolanda challenged her and when Bette asked her why she wasn’t screaming I’m a dyke. Ps….squirl mentioned that it will become evident that Tina has vice..except she always has had..and ther question is, will she for once ever get called on it, big time, and actually have consequences for it, as Bette always does?
I am glad Bette and Tina came to an understanding. Now I just hope that Bette can some how make it up to Helena and have Helena possibly forgive her.
susannah2000… what did you mean by “Ps….squirl mentioned that it will become evident that Tina has vice..except she always has had..and ther question is, will she for once ever get called on it, big time, and actually have consequences for it, as Bette always does? ” What is vice?
interestingly enough, Pam reminds me of Bette…strong and perfect on the outside – only masking the fears and flaws that all humans have…maybe Pam isn’t as arrogant as Bette, but that’s okay too…anyway, Squirl, you’re right…we like to think we’ve come a long way, but race does matter, if it didn’t we wouldn’t be so concerned that Angelica is indeed biracial or there wouldn’t have been the need for a Black donor. Don’t get me wrong, we have come far, but equality is often based on the lense through which you view life and when I look at the news, I don’t always see equality…not white/black, but male/female, gay/straight, you name it…
WOW that was great, finally Bette realized what she wanted from Tina and from Helena, and it’s not what Tina had wanted but finally understood what thier life had been and what it was nolonger, a couple only parents to Angelica and to be friends for thier daughters sake. And then for Pam to be at Tina’s steps and both women talk about what was hurting one another and at the end what they were feeling for each other. This was a chapter full of emotions and as always well written S.
Clarice-I think Tina always knew had insight into Bette, but I think Bette overshadows her and does not really allow her to speak her mind. I think Tina rather than incite Bette keeps her opinions under wraps. I actually think as a friend she might be in a better position to tell Bette about herself than she did as a lover. Not sure.
Clarice- about Pam I really considered making her nice externally but totally corrupt internally-drug user, alcoholic, physically abusive, player (hitting on Helena much more and more often than I hinted) but kept her “boring”. I guess I needed less drama and angst from at least one person or this story.
Pam actually is a collection of people I met in SOuth Africa. . Physically she is like one woman I had a little crush on when I met her. Psycologically she is like another who is totally sweet and giving and very interesting. So she is based on real PEOPLE but not ONE person.
I just caught up on the last 2 chapters; you did it all…anger, angst, fear, revelation, reconciliation, love. Thx. Great stuff. PPS
One more comment on the race thing-I don’t think Pam and Tasha are telling Bette how to act. I think the point of passing is valid. I don’t think its a conscious decision. Its just natural for her. (She however does believe she is equipt to help her biracial daughter through the trial and tribulations of being biracial/black. But we’ve never seen her struggle with this issue.) If in theory Bette played her race card. I think they have every right to call her on it. OJ and Michael Jackson played their race card when they got into trouble. I was trying to portray Bette as someone grasping for straws, blaming everything and everyone for her problems. When she finally has a quiet moment to reflect she realized she is the problem. Now the task will be to see how she come to terms with her baggage. (Sorry, Don’t look for it to be resolved in this story.)
At one point I was really going to make Tina a total bitch, as recent as the current chapter but I promised a happy ending and I need to let go of the hurt and pain before the season started.
Squirl, do me a favor and let me know if I am talking too much here, or monopolizing the board, if so I will stop. I just am enjoying this discussion and if it’s ok will put my two cents in once more. Again, if I sound like an ass, please forgive. I am a white woman, and in regards to the race card, I agree that IF Bette played it, she should be called on it. I wonder though, in regard to Bette never dealing with it on the show, whether that is true or not, or whether we didn’t just see it, really, except in the matter of the donor. I don’t have alot of patience with people who view life through just one single filter, again, meaning one facet about themselves, especially if they are looking, consciously or unconsciously for slights… and I think they find them alot of times. Who can know if someone does or says something rude that it is because they are black or white or gay or female or maybe that person is just a jerk! I haven’t felt that Bette uses just one filter, whether it be being biracial or lesbian, but as I said, it hasn’t been addressed alot, maybe in part because they do live in a metro, liberal area. Might the dynamic be alot different if the show was set in the South or Midwest? In regard to whether Bette can help Angelica with being biracial..Im not really sure what that even means. What parent can protect their child from pain? What parent can keep growing up from just being flat out hard? What child does not experience pain from being called fat, stupid, ugly, a fag,a dyke, a dumb girl, a dirty Jew, and all the myriad of hurtful things stupid kids can say to each other? I will now slip away, taking my soapbox with me..
Sorry, I meant to say that, who knows if someone is rude to someone else, whether its because the someone else is black, gay etc, or the someone is just a jerk. I am really going now.
Well I must say heads off for Bette in this chapter, she finally realizes what she has done wrong to Helena and herself and it feels good to see her admit that. I really hope Helena will give her a chance to say the same tings to her as she did to Tina and then they both will have a chance to take their relationship from there. Too bad though you feel you don’t have the time to show more of Tina’s vices cuz she has a lot of them and even while she’s always plaing the hurt victim she has to realize she hurts a lot of people too. Bette by leaving her for men (I can understand Bette very well in that department, if my partner would leave me for a guy I will never forgive her nor take her back either), Helena by just using her to make Bette jealous and now Pam by not telling her the truth about her where abouts. I hope Tina one day realizes she has to stop hurting people and take a look at herself in the mirror.Now bring our dear Helena back and let her and Bette work things out between them.
Sus-The statemenet about Bette being better equipt to show Angelica how to deal with the world comes from the show when Bette was giving her argument why Angelica belongs with her. As a black person I can tell you there are sublte nuances that come up frequently that you have to process. The reality is race matters. We want to believe that it doesn’t matter if you are black, white, green, gay, straight, male, female, fat, thin all of these in the day to day life become issues. Sometimes painfully its in your face and other times more subtle. I think society now is more tolerant of differences but the reality is Angelica will have to deal with issues such as being the biracial child of lesbians that the majority of her classmates will not. Hopefully Bette will help guide her through those issues so she does not feel inferior to her classmates. This stuff is real Susannah. As much as we want to believe it is not.Now as far as Tina bashing goes. I think TIna’s vices were presented and seen by her cohorts. She is quite passive and like in the show she is tolerated. As I said, I contemplated making her a total bitch but that kind of anger/hate/evil is too negative for me to want to live in. I think any of you who write will understand. To make it real you begin to feel their ups a downs. IF you felt their anger and pain reading it.Imagine what I feel writing it. I don’t want to live is TIna’s evil. Maybe another time. Let’s see what season 5 brings. Thanks for reading and commenting.
What a beautifully written chapter! i’m glad that Bette finally spoke to tina and really set the record straight about why she can’t get back with her. but i also think tina hit the nail on the head with bette and about the fact the her mother left her. bette has abandonment issuses big time. bette and helena are like north and south pole to me.i think hellena is right is not contacting bette because bette really needed to get her act together.i would ahve a tough time with getting back with somone who cheated on me. i can’t wrap my head around the forgiving part the trust is broken, dunno not sure if i could forgive! as for tina being evil please.. she was still riding her hurt and anger from bette’s betrayal. something like that doesn’t go away overnight especially when you have not gotten any answers. bette and tina over played a long hurt/blame game back and forth, tit for tat BS long enough. i’m glad they stopped and that both are moving on. i think pam is good for both tina and angelica. pam is so intouch with her roots and could teach angelica a lot more than bette could. anyway i really love how you wrote this story, the depth of the issuses touched is nothing short of amazing! :)
Hey, Squirl ! Very interesting chapter. You know, I think Tina has a lot of points in her analysis of Bette’s behaviour… But where does all this wisdom come from all of a sudden ? She seems to have sooo much hindsight !!! Well, not that I am THAT surprised, Tina’s smart, it’s just that I’m a little taken back since I hadn’t seen this coming so quickly. But I guess both parts did say a lot during this discussion, huh ? You know, it’s funny because up until now, I was thinking ” this story really seems a lot like how I envision season 5 from the various spoilers and promo clips ” ( except that Helena’s playing Jodi’s part and I think the Tina from the show has more pride than the one you depicted in some of the previous chapters of this story ). Yet, I need to confess that I still believe that Bette and Tina will end up together in the show, if only because each one of them is the only that can put up with the other one’s shit. LOL ! ( Though, if Bette should end up with Jodi – which would be totally preposterous if you ask me since it would eventually make everybody miserable – I really wish Bette and Tina’ story would end like you described it here ). And I do admit that the reason why I can’t bring myself to care about Pam is because, no matter how hard her life has been and how much she suffered, she’s still too perfect, too wise, too smart, too sweet… And her character is too “smooth” to be real. I think that’s why she bores me ( but of course that’s just my opinion ). That being said, I also need to confess that I can’t stand the idea of Tina being with anyone else beside Bette and I kinda really like the idea of Tina being basically straight, but having found the ( one and only ) love of her life in Bette and as a result “going gay” for Bette. Anyway, in my opinion your story still “holds the water” beautifully ( for a lack of a better expression ) as far as sense and logic go. Oh, and by the way, I still like the idea of Belena, of course. In fact, whether it’s just a fling or it’s something much deeper like in your story, Squirl, Bette and Helena’s personalities are so similar and yet they have such different pasts that they really make sense together. I would even go so far as to say they were bound to be together at some point. And I can’t wait for Helena to come back and have a “little chat” with Bette as well. As usual, great job, Squirl !!!
My take on Tina. I have always felt she was passive aggressive, needy, and dysloyal. She also lies or does not fully tell the truth. She is usually moving into one relationship while she ends another. I think these are her vices. I may not have come off very strong Tina bashing because I think Tina flies under the radar. (Bette’s vices are obvious because she is so passionate in what she does. Everybody knows her shit stinks) I think Tina will always take Bette back if Bette wants it. (But they would fail again) In this story I do think she is caring about Pam. Pam does appear to be perfect. She has all the right answers except for herself. She comes forward then moves back. Tina(Angelica) breaks this down a little and she opens up more to Tina. I believe this endears her to Tina who really just wants somebody to love and somebody to love her.I think if these were real characters. This pull/push and neediness would continue in their relationship. I hope that answers the question. Tina’s angst is over for now. She has found a nice distraction from Bette, at least for now
As a true Tibetter, I can’t believe I actually like this story where Bette and Tina are just going to be friends. But you did such a great job fleshing out Pam and I start to root for her to win Tina’s heart. Glad to see the outcome.
azmama, what I gathered squirl meant by “Tina will have vice” is that she is going to show that she has flaws, since she was replying to Belena’s comment that Tina is always adored and treated like a fairytale princess. If I misunderstood squirl, I am sure she will clarify what she meant. Sorry to be confusing!!