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    The L Word Series Finale: Life With Bette

    The scene opens with Bette Porter, laying in a hammock in her backyard.  She is reading Love in the Time of Cholera for the first time and so, of course, has fallen asleep. So many women, she thinks as she dozes, and so little time…

     

     

     

    “Bette?” Tina Kennard walks into the backyard, a mojito in one hand, and a copy of Lez Girls in the other. “What are you doing…?”

     

     

    At that very moment, somewhere on the edge of the city…

     

     

    As the sun reaches its peak, Bette is writhing beneath a very amorous and extremely vocal Helena Peabody. Sweaty and naked, Bette’s back is pressed to the hood of a 68 GT. Helena is topless, wearing only a pair of jeans, which Bette uses her one hand to undo desperately, while the other cups the back of Helena’s head. They kiss fiercely, and Helena gives in at last, shucking her jeans and allowing Bette to pull her fully onto the car.

     

    “You like that, don’t you…” Helena’s narration is peppered with colorful phrases intended to incite the naughty side of the woman whose long legs now wrap around her naked waist.

     

    “Yes…yes…” Bette pants. Her hips thrust furiously as she tries to pull Helena deeper within her. “tell me that…say that…that thing! Say it!”

     

    “Naughty…” Helena starts. “You’re a bad, baaad girl…”

     

    “Oh gooooooooood, tell me how bad I’ve been!” Bette gasps as Helena’s thumb circles her clit. “Please.” She begs, and is rewarded when Helena slips in a fourth finger, tugging on her gspot, while her free hand reaches beneath Bette and delivers a well placed spank.  Bette shakes and sighs, drenching Helena hand and burying her face gratefully in Helena’s neck as she climaxes.

     

     

    Back in Bette’s backyard…

     

    “Bette…oh…” Tina backs up a step as Bette eases out of the hammock, a look of complete lust written across her features. “I’m sorry, I just thought I would show you something in here…I…ummm…what are you doing?” Tina’s voice cracks as Bette’s hands reach out to caress her waist. Angelica is sleeping, Tina was only meant to spend the afternoon in order to share child care for the day. She wasn’t supposed to find herself stripped of her shirt, and kissed thoroughly across every inch of her bare torso. That wasn’t in Ilene’s plan.

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    Comments

    1. Hello Helebette, ROTFL that was freaking hilarious and so very you. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, never change or compromise beautiful lady you are such a gem. You are to freakin much, hahahahaha, I love it, I love what you did to Jenny, hey more Bette’s would never be a bad thing… Sincerely, JC

    2. Smoking hot and funny Belena, Tibette, and Opera Balice scenes. Max and other boring bits conveniently excised. Jenny destroyed. You sure made this Bette shipper’s season-finale dreams come true!

    3. Helebette, you are a raving lunatic and I love it. LMAO. OMG they killed Jenny, *loud roar from the staduim*. Besides the super hot muscle car scene, that’s my favorite one. F*ing brilliant mate.

    4. I love the Ghost reference–“Ditto” followed by Unchained Melody. I can imagine Bodi fans thinking Bette and Jodi making pottery together….Hilarious and BELENA HOT on the car!

    5. Oh my word I’m falling all about the place laughing with actual tears rolling down my cheeks that was so ‘frikin’ ‘frakin’ hilarious, you’re awesome, i mean that, JC is completely right, never ever change because to be able to write the kind of story that pokes fun at itself from every which way is unfortunately something we often invariably lose …. *hugs* xx

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