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There Was A Tomorrow
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“I don’t shift gears as quickly.”
Her eyes closed. Knowing there was a not so well masked implication in the retort. How did the tone of this conversation change so abruptly? “That’s not fair,” Tina returned. “We – I…”
There were so many ways to finish. We were broken. I was empty. We had so much that was wrong between us. We rushed into being a couple again. I thought I wanted something else. You were so unsure. We were not okay. I was troubled and unsettled. We – I…
“Nothing’s fair.” Bette interrupted lifelessly. “You were my best teacher of that.”
“Don’t do this Bette.”
“Do what?” she asked rather impatiently. After clenching her jaw she ventured for more, “What are you saying exactly?”
‘Let her go’ Tina announced bravely to herself. Let Jodi go for me.
With her heart hammering in her chest Tina said aloud, “I want you.”
Tina wondered if Bette’s heart was beating like hers or if it was more so strong and steady. Like when they were blanketed warmly in bed as their bodies embraced. Oh how she remembered the softness of her lover’s chest as it pressed with a measured rhythm against her back. The gentle beat of Bette’s heart that spoke of the closeness she missed terribly.
“Everything that’s you.”
Bette was clearly taken aback after the succinct answer. She raised her head to look at Tina squarely in the eye with an expression that said plainly ‘you had me’.
You had me and you said no.
After the fixed quiet stare, Bette questioned with a voice extraordinarily composed – the sharp pain from their past inducing her to pose in rapid succession, “Really? Why? For how long?”
Tina refused to address the final leading question. “I can see it’s too soon,” she amended.
“There is no too soon Tina.” Bette was calm although not in a reassuring way.
There was a tomorrow after Bette succumbed to the unchecked passion with someone else. “We’ve had our time and I chose to fuck up with Candace. You chose to fuck Henry.”
“It doesn’t change what I said earlier,” Tina insisted.
Why now? The question echoed in Bette’s head.
When all Tina had to say or even hint at before was ‘maybe’ and she would have lingered. Watching from a distance. Coveting her family’s return. Even if it hurt like the worst hell imaginable. Not because she felt the need for continued penance for her betrayal but because she wanted to remain in the life of this woman who held all the cards. Those that mattered to her.
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That was powerful but very sad.I really hope it doesn’t go that way this season.
I hope Tina finds someone after this conversation.. someone great. Bette is fooling herself with that IC pimpage of Jodi if she thinks there is anything there. She had more fire with every other partner she has ever had on the show. So, if she prefers boring Jodi who fights with her every other episode and doesn’t dig kids she can go for it. This was sad. Interesting, but sad. Although, I could definitely see it happening on S5.
That is sad and painful. I truly hope they are both happy, but would love them to be happy together.
This is exactly the way I think it should go this season, with Bette and Tina. Bette should look directly into Tina’s eyes and say just that…”you had me, completely, and YOU said no I don’t want you and left me for Henry, so what’s up with all the I want you and I love you now?” I have never known why Tibetters think that Bette should just forget that, and trust Tina with open arms. Also very good point of Bette saying, “yeah you want me again, but for how long?” I am pretty tired of Tibetters saying that Tina was entitled to treat Bette this way because Bette wasn’t perfect and had hurt her..REALLY tired! Just once I would like to see Tina take responsibility for what she has done. I used to think that Jodi would be great for Bette, being a fellow artist and all but she treats Bette just as badly as Tina did. Bette deserves much better than either of them.
Damn that was hard. I so hope thats not where this season is going. You can weigh all the pros and cons of getting Bette and Tina back together, and never really come up with a firm answer. But, I truly believe that together is where they belong. Sometimes you have to step away before you realize that what was meant to be was right in front of you all along. In a world that holds so much unhappiness were only asking for a small piece of joy, even if it is make believe.
“Escalating thanks for clicking, reading and commenting.” Escalating thanks back for writing, editing, and posting! ;-)
oh gosh… this was just utterly sad but beautiful. thanks, lwordid for making time and writing. your words never fail to evoke emotions in this reader. gotto read it again.
So powerful. So painful. Bittersweet ending. What you’ve writtenis what I think would happen in the real world. I won’t mind if IC can put B&T back together in a BELIEVABLE way, though it may be beyond her skills. I can just see it: TIBA: “Bette Porter, I wish I could quit you.” BETTE (sighing): “Tina, must you always use movie quotes?” TINA: “Come here.” :)
Too sad and unfortunately a very realistic bid for how season 5 will turn out…..I, for one, will have my hopes up for something more optimistic untill the very last second of the season:-)great writing though.
Bette absolutely should move on and Jodie is absolutely her match. Tina, sometime the grass is greener of the other side, so go green! Thought provoking stuff that makes me rant a bit ;) Thanks.
I wish I had the words to express how your writing transports me out of my own world and into the one you create. It never ceases to leave me in awe of your abilities. Thanks for posting!
beautifully written and sad, of course…if this is the way the show would go, i hope Tina will find someone but i know Bette can’t be happy with Jodi, especially with what she said at the end…i still hold on to hope, though :)
That was beautifully sad, how is Season 5 going to play out I wonder? Thanks for this chapter.
very well writen, heart to heart,soul to soul…I can’t help but hope for Tibette whatever they’ll have to go through…
how painfully sad…plz write more…soon
Remember how I once said I wish I wrote as well as you do? Still so true. Beautifully written, wonderfully crafted post. Hope there’s more from you soon.
They both have said what is in their hearts now. Now can they both truly let go, or will there be a chapter 3 of the continuing love of Bette and Tina. Of course in my world there would be a chapter 3.
Ok im about to cry, too sad for me..im happy it worked out for the better on the show I dont know how our hearts will be feeling by now…tibette forever