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    I Take All The Blame

    Story written on January 5, 2008 by ashtuck.
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    Number of Comments: 11
    Words: 2053
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=68110
    Author Notes:

    Opening up to one another and watching some Greta Garbo…

    “My father was never exactly the most accepting man.  I find it funny that my mother would marry another man just like him.” Helena said to her therapist.

     

    “Does he know that you’re gay?”

     

    “No.  I have to tell him eventually.  I want him to meet Bette.  I want him to be a part of my life, but only if he accepts who I am.”

     

    “Understandably so.”

     

    “He was the one who introduced me to the joys of alcoholism.  He was mean as a rattlesnake, my grandmother used to stay, but when he was drunk, he was sweet.  He was my dad—he wasn’t the angry fucker that he was when he was sober.  I never wanted to drink as much as he did, but yet I’m on the same path.  I don’t have the shakes or the shivers like he did when he was sober, but, Christ, how long until I do?” Helena sighed heavily, “I had a drink last night, when Bette hadn’t called.  Just before I went over her place to see her.  I told her I’d stop drinking if she stopped cutting.”

     

    “Did you mean it?”

     

    “Of course, I meant it.  I’d do anything to get her to stop hurting herself.  I feel like she’s holding so much back from me.”

     

    “How does that make you feel?”

     

    “Like she doesn’t trust me.”

     

    “Maybe, she feels like she’s protecting you.  She seems like she doesn’t want you to see her as anything less than superhuman because she knows you need her.”

     

    “I want her to need me too.” Tears rolled down her cheeks and she did little to hide them.

     

    “I’m sure she does, but when you’re used to being perfect, you tend to shut people out when you appear less than that.  She’s scared.”  Helena knew that that didn’t only apply to Bette, but to her as well.

     

    Helena walked out of her therapy session feeling relieved.  It was the first therapy session that she’d ever had that touched her and made her feel…real.   It was the first time she felt for her own life.  Every other time she felt like she was on the outside, looking in.  It was time to just let go.  She dried her tears before the wind caused them to turn into icicles on her face. She watched as Bette’s car pulled up to the curb.  She opened the door and stepped inside.  Bette’s scent filled the car.

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    Comments

    1. Hello Ash, yes I am so happy that Bette finally asked her to move in, that is great. Yippee… I really like the fact that Bette is opening up to Helena, when you say she told her about her session, so you mean she told her everything, even the stuff that she said she would never tell her ????… I can see that when these two are separated they give into their vices, but maybe together they might start to release, they might start to heal, and then they will be able to love one another and themselves completely. Absolutely Brilliant, Sincerely, JC

    2. ash this is SUCH a great story, really! the way these characters communicate, emotionally and certainly physically, is just so compelling. i agree with darkhawk on how these two are healing one another–its a hard place to take a story and i’m really impressed with how well you do it. just, wow…absolutely wow! pps!

    9. i think this fic shows how important communication is in any relationship…you really get to see the demons you and yours are dealing with…very good issue you’re addressing….

    11. ash this is a great chapter, finally both women spoke of what was bothering them and they had women in thier lives but they knew they belonged to one another,,,and now the move in loved it

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