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Lady Slayer
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Chapter 26
Tina sat on the rock with her knees up and her arms tightly around them as she glanced out towards the abyss of the ocean.
She sighed deeply as she reflected on the day.
Was it only this morning that she had taken those tentative steps into the hospital corridor, a walk into the unknown world of whether she would be facing a course of debilitating treatment of chemotherapy or radiotherapy, whether the doctor would be telling her that she needed to undergo surgery to remove the disease from her body, or whether she wouldn’t have to do either…
Or…, or…
Somehow, thinking of the possibilities after the event seemed much deeper and harder than before.
She’d been so focused on the positive without giving time to contemplate the negative aspects that she could have been facing that the very possibilities were hitting her now.
But they were hitting her much harder than she would have contemplated.
How was it possible to receive the best news possible in the circumstances and yet not feel on top of the world?
How did that work?
Why did she feel so low when she should have been so high?
Realisation maybe, the ‘what if’s’… And irrespective that she didn’t have to think or contemplate those ‘what if’s’… there was no shaking them from her feelings.
How would she have coped, how would she have felt hearing that kind of news, how would she have told her parents, how would she have told Bette…,’Oh hi…, now that you’ve known me for a couple of weeks I have to tell you I have cancer…’ or what about, ‘oh you know you told me you loved me…, well I have something to tell you too…’
But with every negative thought came the flooding of relief with so many threads of disbelief woven so tightly into every fibre of her being.
“Fuck…” Tina said aloud as she took in a deep breath of the fresh sea air. Her eyes closed as she held onto the breath for as long as she could before slowly letting it out as her eyes opened slowly.
She brushed her hand along the side of her breast, remembering how painful the needle was when she had the biopsy… But at that very moment her thought turned to how she was just thankful that she was able to do that with her hand.
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Wow, that was heavy. No matter how infrequent you get to post I definitely appreciate every chapter of this story. Its really beautiful. Hopefully some lighter fair to come even though Lily’s death is inevitable.
it’s so sad to see lily going soon but i’m glad tina will be there for bette…very emotional chapter
Ms. Jo, so happy to see a chapter of this story again, yes, you have been missed, but we know you are doing some very important things in your life. Congrats on the nominations, as one of the readers said, “it’s quality not quantity” that counts. Your work so deserves the accolades and more. This was a very emotional chapter from the high of Tina getting the all clear to the answer Lilly received, even knowing what was coming, the news is still devastating. Ann poor Bette not really having knowledge of it but a “feeling” that all was not right with Lilly. Although Lilly will be leaving her, she has the knowledge and assurance that Lilly loves her as much as her mother did and she does have Tina’s all encompassing and consuming love. Tina will be with her during the sad time to come. Please let Lilly just go to sleep but please let Bette and Tina be with her when it happens because, if Bette is not there she will not have an easy time of it, and nothing can be said that will give her peace of mind. Lilly is quite a lovely lady, with a depth of understanding that is unmatched and with a level of sensitivity that leaves one wondering how she does it. The answer I belive, is that she has that internal fortitude and grounding that so many lack and she is at peace with herself and the world around her and she also knows that you don’t sweat the small stuff because it is all small in the big scheme of things. I love your Lilly, my paternal grmother was named Lilly, and I adored her. Great story. Post when you can.
Hey Jo, great to see you back. Tell me, how can you seriously ask why you figure in the nominations then produce this?! As always, a superb chapter. What ever emotion you write in, it works. Funny, sad whatever. I still chuckle over the “gumming” Bette gave Tina in Situations. My all time favourite if I had to pick. Classic……..
I was really not ready to read this one. Expectally the kissing of the finger tip and caressing the picture. Bette will need Tina more than she ever will in the near future. thanks
Great post very happy yet very sad at the same time. I hope Bette doesn’t shut down so Tina can comfort her when the time comes. I;m glad you are writing again I have missed this story. PPS
So good to see your post. You really have a gift for telling stories. Looking forward to more.
Damn this is sad and emotional. Please post more, thanks!
Bitter-Sweet chapter, but beautifully written as always.
beautiful…
A very emotional chapter. I feel Bette’s pain in the losing of Lily after losing her Mom. I hope that Bette and Tina can hold onto one another through all that is to come.
I loved this chapter..yes a very sad one in parts..I think Lilies attitude..her knowing its her time to be with Maxine will in a way help Bette to accept the inevitable..knowing that Lily has accepted it..and wants to be with her love…perfectly written from all 3 womens thoughts….Loved it!..
OK, I’m late to read your last post, even if I was waiting for it… but at least, I’m in time to congratulate you on your new well deserved award :-)) — that new post was really touching and full of emotions, and reminded me of recent events (hopefully, no more to come soon…) – thanks again Jo, and keep going, please
I love this story JB. Your writing is exquisite and warrants every bit of positive feedback that you get. I so appreciate you. Thank you and please post when you can.
We need a Tearjerker Award.
Poignant, loving and sad. Glad to see that you’re posting again. You were sorely missed.
i just love it…
Wiping away tears……I just recently caught up with all of your stories. I love them all. Thanks.
Dear author, I love this story of yours SO deeply, really, from the very beginning. Such a subtle but powerful rainbow of emotions and feelings, with pure moments of poetry. Believe me, a nomination is so deserved – no matters how many chapters you offered to your faithful readers in last months. Quality isn’t quantity ! *** I adore your Lily, this so endearing, warm, sensitive woman, with all the magical gifts of any true artist… It’s so poignant to know time is counted for this so lovable lady, even if, yes, that’s life… “High and low. Relief and despair. How was it possible to deal with such extremes” – god, I don’t know… Everything here, happy and sad, is so totally moving. I silently cried reading it – above all when at this very same time the so gently old lady that is my neighbour for years is also slowly but alas surely dying from cancer… I visited her yesterday at hospital and god knows how difficult it was to watch death in march keeping my best encouraging smile… Thank you so very much for a story that is both so deeply romantic and so sadly realistic.
wow. That was emotional. Poor Tina just now letting the what if’s wash over her. Poor Bette having such highs and lows. And poor Lily only because she won’t get to see Bette and Tina blossom. She is ready to join her true love.
Thanks Jo, for the update. Mmm. Very poignant! Oh, Gosh! My beautiful Marsha & I are up to our eyebrows, with this cancer threat and everything… My mom’s only sister has been diagnosed with cancer on her right side of the brain. One of my brothers died, with the same diagnose, when he was to become 19. So, it is a terrible thing happening to anyone out there. It drains your hopes, heart and it’s very difficult to those around the affected third party. Whether it happens to be someone of your family, friend… Whomever… Cancer does not respect people, age or whatever. It strikes anyone and no one knows why cancer strikes anyone out there. Whether they smoke cigarrettes or not. To this date, no one knows why cancer hits worst than terrorists. In this case, we’re glad that Tina got the “clear” sign and, unfortunately, Lily got the contrary diagnose. But, fortunately, Tina will be there, for Bette, when Lily leaves this world. That’s the main point in your story. Tina shall be there, to catch Bette up and take care of her fragile heart. Even though B is supposedly to be a Lady Slayer, she has a fragile heart, because she only lets people in,whom she cares to play a certain role on her life. Tina is the response to her unsecurities. She cares about B’s feelings and undertands that. Once Lily’s gone, she (Tina) will be the one to look after B’s fragile heart. Tks for the update. We needed this, although it is sad, depressing and full of deeper inside feelings, trying to think what’s best to depart in style. Big Hs & Ks.- Lucero & Marsha .- P.S. We accept the outcoming of this story, although it makes us feel weak and very vulnerable.
Brillant, as always, Jo! And i agree with Lamentamini, we need a tearjerker award… Though that would not be fair, cause you’d get it every single time! ;) I liked this chapter which kind of gave us a little pause to reflect on the many recent developments… And given the progress of things, B&T seem to be at an important crossroad in their lives, or better say at the end of an era and the beginning of another, so that little reflection time was very welcome. I also very much appreciated how Tina reflected on the “timing” of things… Of course, it’s fiction, and this perfect timing in the hospital corridor was your own doing, but I genuinely think that these “moments in time” do happen, it has happened to me anyway, and I do think that it is important to appreciate them and realise their meaning. Even though I consider myself rather a down to earth person, I feel that some things and happenings sometimes have meaning, and that it can be helpful to perceive it… Anyway, I loved the emotion of this chapter and appreciated that it was related to us in retrospect… Gives much more power to the content and intentions… Thanks a lot, and please come back soon… ;) K.
This chapter was bitter sweet, so full of emotions and happiness that is covered with sadness; your style of writing is very special Hun it really takes my breath away, thanks dear you know it’s funny that often I see myself going through the same emotions that you write about in this story.With all my love
Hey mate! No problem on the smiley. I was happy to have done that for ya. As promised, I did in fact sit and read the fabulous Adoring Eyes, and it was sensational. This has taken alot longer to catch up on, but I am quite happy to have seen an update. I just mentioned to Ness last week, that I wondered when Lady Slayer was going to grace the site again! Congrats on the nominations, WELL deserved. Like my friend Therese said, it’s not about quantity, but quality. All good things come to those who wait. ;-) Thanks Jo. The story, was so moving. It definitely shook me up. This line “Lily ran her finger over the photograph as a moment of sadness washed over her, she kissed her finger and placed it onto the photograph, something she did every single day, “soon honey…, soon…, you know I have to finish that sculpture first…”” Wow..good stuff. Post when you can.
I guess I knew that was coming, but still… poor Bette. She’ll just have to make the most of the time she has left with Lily. It’s different when you know the end is coming, at least. I’m glad she has Tina. Sad chapter but great writing, Jo, thanks.
Heart wrenching tale of two opposite prognosis. One moving on from this earth and the other given a second chance of finding and living that fulfilled life with the love of her life.
I’d been wondering where you’d gone. Congratulations on the nominations. Doing away with Lily-well, not unexpected, but cruel. Let her go easy when it’s time, will you? As for Tina, she really should insist on a local if they ever do biopsy on her again. I got some a couple of months ago when they stuck a needle in my throat. No pain, just weird to watch. And my last mammogram? If they’d turned the knob any tighter I would have confessed to kissing the devil’s left buttock. Now why don’t they give you a local for that?
I feel like my heart has been ripped out…I’m sitting here trying to read thru tears pouring down my face…fiddlesticks is right!!! Thank you for the update, pls pls don’t wait to long…or maybe yes because then Lily will still be here…
Ahhhhh Jo….sad in some parts, but also so beautiful. Really a pleasure to read your stuff. And now…back to work LOL. xx