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    Midnight Confessions

    Story written on January 28, 2008 by pseud.
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    50 votes, average: 3.44 out of 550 votes, average: 3.44 out of 550 votes, average: 3.44 out of 550 votes, average: 3.44 out of 550 votes, average: 3.44 out of 5 (50 votes, average: 3.44 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 10
    Words: 475
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=68420
    Author Notes:

    Spoilers for Season 5, Episode 4.

    “I fucked up. That’s it. I fucked up.

     

    “Again.

     

    “No surprise, right? That’s what I do lately. I fuck up.

     

    “I don’t know, though. This time, it seems worse. This time, I don’t know if I can fix it.

     

    “I’ve been seeing this woman. Jodi. Her name’s Jodi. She’s an artist – I know, amazing I didn’t just start with an artist, right?

     

    “I thought we were working but we had some issues. And I tried, I tried really hard to be with her, to support her. I committed larceny for her if you can believe that.

     

    “So we’re together. Then, the other night, I fucked up.

     

    “I was in at this bar. I hated it – I know that’d surprise you, but I did. I’m not sure why I even let Jodi talk me into going.

     

    “In the bar I ran into someone that I’ve been attracted to and I kissed her.

     

    “Jodi was gone. Jodi, the woman I’m supposed to be monogamous with. And there I was, kissing another woman.

     

    “An amazing kiss.

     

    “That kiss was like a first kiss. And I knew, I knew that the woman I was kissing was the woman that I should be with from now on.

     

    “But I’m with Jodi.

     

    “It’s fucked.

     

    “The feelings I had with this woman. The comfort. The love.

     

    “The shame. I fucked up before by cheating, and I was fucking up again, cheating again.

     

    “I want her, though. Cheating or not, I want her.

     

    “What if she’s the one I’m supposed to be with? Is it then even cheating?

     

    “I know. I should end things with Jodi. Start fresh.

     

    “But what if she doesn’t want me? What if I end things with Jodi, and I’m alone?

     

    “Even worse, what if I have to watch her with someone else? She’s seeing other women. She’s been fucking other women.

     

    “Fuck.

     

    “I love her. Tina, my wife, the mother of my child. I love her.

     

    “I miss you, Daddy. I wish you were here. You’d understand.”

     

    Bette put the picture of Melvin back onto its place on the mantle.

     

    She returned to the bedroom and crawled under the covers. Jodi snuggled against her.

     

    Lying on her back, Bette wiped away a tear and closed her eyes.

     

    (the end)

     

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    Comments

    1. I haven’t even *seen* the episode yet and I’m already making all these mental leaps. Some are leading me off a cliff, others are taking me to some great (but imaginary) heights. Guess I’ll just have to wait and see. This was a great post, pseud. Thanks.

    3. Interesting. This reminded me of JB’s quote about the episode on Lydia Martin’s blog. Check it out if you haven’t yet. It talks about how its wrong.. but Tina is the love of her life so its from such a place of overwhelming love basically.

    4. Whoa mama! Now that is a confession of the worst kind. I was there when Bette was with Candace, when Tina found out, when Bette found Jodi, when they woke up together, when Bette gave her the sign, and now THIS. Is you have captured the essence of episode 4. Thank you.

    5. I’m a little doubtful that Bette would have this sort of heart to heart with Melvin, dead or alive. She might have wished she could have and she may well miss him, despite his disapproval, but disapprove he did. I’m also a little surprised that her feelings about Jodi herself don’t seem to be part of Bette’s musings, only that she’s feeling guilty about cheating on her. To recap: Bette is feeling badly about cheating on a woman who regularly treats her badly with a woman she cheated on and who treated her very badly. At least Tina and Bette are treating each other better in the present tense. Why so tense?

    7. Maybe a sit down with Tina will help out Bette with this desire to be with her. If both are on the same page then leaving Jodi would not be such an issue. I can understand how the love comes oozing out of Bette for Tina. Of course we know that Tina loves Bette and would love nothing more than to be with her again.

    9. Bette’s been hiding her feelings for Tina. Jodi has been only a source to recover her confidence on dating and gaining her self esteem. But she didn’t give Jodi her heart. Only her “commitment” to give the relationship a chance. Therefore, it is natural that Bette acts according to what her heart is telling her. We don’t see Bette cheating, because she didn’t deliver her heart to Jodi. PPS Lucero & Marsha

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