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    There Is No If – 3

    Story written on February 3, 2008 by tiff_duke.
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    Number of Comments: 30
    Words: 1624
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=68498
    Author Notes:

    No words.

    "Mama!"

    Angelica’s cry cut right through Tina’s reverie, driving her attention away from her discussion with Helena, and causing both herself and the British woman to glance at Angelica.

    Upon seeing that Tina was not the woman Angelica had been addressing, Tina followed her daughter’s gaze, resting on the woman who continued to haunt her every waking moment.

    Bette stood at the counter, clearly waiting for her takeout order to be ready, and as much as her face brightened at the sight of Angelica, upon seeing Tina, her expression changed. Not quite happy, but not sad. And when her gaze fell upon Helena, the expression turned into something else. Something infinitely more familiar.

    Which Tina found amusing, oddly enough, as it reminded her of another time, seemingly a lifetime ago, when Helena had been the one on her good side, and she had been avoiding Bette. The look resembled the same confused and unpleased expression Bette had given Helena when she’d asked what the Peabody heiress was doing with "her girlfriend".

    Girlfriend.

    Angelica turned to Tina, bright-eyed and enthusiastic at the sight of her mother, whom she had not seen since the week before, when she’d been in Bette’s care. "Mama!"

    After all, how was the three-year-old supposed to understand that her mothers were having an uneasy truce, a cold war, almost, keeping away from each other while her birth mother struggled to contain and control her feelings for the other woman.

    Trapped in that small space, her little place in the world that contained only her and the love she had for Bette Porter, Tina was vaguely aware of Helena saying something, no doubt something funny and insightful to snap her attention away from the inevitable heartbreak that was deeply ingrained in her continuing love for the unavailable Bette Porter.

    Tina glanced at Helena, briefly, before returning her gaze to the woman who held her attention, and, to be perfectly honest, her heart.

    Bette met her gaze, unabashed, torn between approaching, talking to the blonde, any small amount of interaction to tide her over until next time; and keeping her distance, respecting Tina’s wishes to stay away, to let the blonde have the time and opportunity to, in her own words, try to get over her. To learn to let her go. To learn to move on. Or at least to move forward.

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    Comments

    5. I could almost ring Bette and Tina’s neck for making us all suffer through this mess. I hate that they are not together. ic has screwed up again.

    7. why do they always allow themselves to be interrupted by the phone? I say, let the bloody phone ring. If its important they’ll leave a message or call back.

    9. Gosh, to be there when *that* message gets relayed. This was really sad, but clinging onto that word “hope”. (And I’m not happy Hels is gone either. Not at all.) Excellent update, tiff. Cheers

    10. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL…..I literally cannot stop laughing, chuckling to myself after that last line ;-) And nelieve me, that is saying something, it is a complete turn-around from my emotional state not 5-10 minutes before. after the double ?or triple whammy of reading parts 1&2 of Jobadge & Justloveb+t’s tale WHILE rewatching (God Bless On Demand) “The Kiss,” and getting all choked up as per usual! Truly awesome work as always with your stories, SO real…another reason I loved this little vignette – it reminded me of a scene out of “A Knight’s Tale”….hmmm, now i’m a little bit melancholy again, remembering Heath Ledger…….anyway, thanks for this can’t wait to read the next one!!

    11. Interesting to read interpretations on some of Bette’s thoughts and dilemma’s. Fear of failing seems to be areal achilles heal for her. I wonder if you are going to make this easy on her or…

    12. Ah, I feel for Tina. It must be truly excruciating to let go of Bette. And Bette is definitely not playing fair although I understand her dilemma. She should really stay the hell out of Tina’s life right now while she’s still with Jodi. Excellent chapter, TD! Thanks and PPS.

    15. Caught up with this story. Nice. Bette’s being all McCrappy McEx, with her playing nice with Tina-by-proxy while rushing back to Jodi. Yeah, Helena will have things to say. And if she wants to do some extra smoochin’ with T, just for old times sake, I say let her.

    16. Oh boy the tgames these two play! bette needs to get her act together and ditch jodie and tina needs to let her walls down. i can’t wait to see tina’s face when helena passes on the message,LOL.

    18. Bette is just stubborn enough to see Tina’s moratorium on their time together as an ultimatum rather than as a true effort to heal from heartache. A tragedy of human existence is that a sense of honour can dictate actions, rather than pursuing what you truly want. How many times are they supposed to hurt each other before just this eventuality was realized? I look forward to seeing how or if you see the situation resolving itself. Thanks so much.

    20. i’m holding on to their memories and hope and knowing that Bette’s heart will win over her head…anxious to know what’s next…and let me tell you, this is what i call true and enjoyable drama…you’re one of the best!!

    21. Geez that was very emotional. Decisions need to be made, or the hurt will just continue to grow. Tina will feel less and less important in time, until Bette decides what she wants, and who she wants to be with. That state of limbo could destroy them both. Good stuff.

    22. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again… you could re-write the phone book and make me cry!!you truly are an amazing writer.keep posting and i’ll keep reading.outstanding as usual.x.x.

    24. Hello tiff_duke, I have been reading this story since you first started it and I must tell you that your emotional reservoir is so very deep. The complexity and layering that you are putting these two through is just so heart stopping and vibrant. I for one feel that Tina does in fact need to move on and separate herself from Bette, only if she really wants to move on… right now with her feelings and emotions so exposed, the feeling I’m left with is nothing more then emotional manipulation from her. She drops this huge bomb on Bette, something she should have done before she naively pushed Bette to Jodi in the first place… if she would have been honest in the first place these additional emotional complexities would not be as complicated, she willingly allowed herself and Bette to become more and more attached to these false senses of security, Bette’s her willingness to find in Jodi what she only sees in Tina and Tina’s belief that she was pushing Bette towards what made her happy, all Tina needed to do was really look into Bette’s eyes to see the truth. Also the involvement of Alice is just as manipulative, who is she to even think she has any right to interfere with this relationship, she isn’t the patron saint for lonely souls, she is no different then Bette, only instead of breaking up her own home she broke up someone else’s, and unfortunately maybe I’m naïve but with Bette being a pretty low key person when it comes to the intimacies within her relationships, when has she opening talked about her sex life with Jodi, I haven’t seen it, and I’m sure that she really hasn’t done this because she values her privacy so to start and make Bette jealous just goes to show what kind of friend she is dealing with, one that at this point in time isn’t worth a second thought. I do think that it is nice that Helena is providing herself as a shield for Tina, it is honorable an all but once again she should now her place… Tina is an adult… grow a back bone and get this set straight and stop using your daughter as a shield… all these encounters she has used her daughter in someway to deflect from herself, and unfortunately so has Bette but not as a catalyst, but as an end result. I too want to see Tina’s reaction to the misinformation she could get from Helena… cause maybe hmmmmm Bette is breaking it off cause she realizes that her heart, soul and love only belong to her soul mate, and how is Bette going to feel when someone comes attacking her without even realizing what is what… they don’t seem to be able to actually just ask a question without assuming the worst case scenario, both of them… or maybe when Helena gives Tina the kiss that Bette addressed her with… maybe Tina takes it as a sign that Bette is letting her go and well takes it the wrong way… Angelica is the only adult here I tell you :P You are absolutely amazing, Sincerely, JC

    26. Yeah, Bette is being a dick. She needs to stop playing second grade admiration crush with Jodi, realize that has no long term potential, and move on. If that moving on is to Tina.. great. However, I still don’t see in the show anything that makes me believe that Bette is “so lucky” to have Jodi.. unless its just because she isn’t alone.

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