Fan Fiction
This story has been set to a rating of R. Age verification is required to proceed.
“Sunshine Lollipops and Rainbows”
Login to add story to favorites
(33 votes, average: 2.97 out of 5)You need to be a registered member to rate this post.
Loading ...
Tina Kennard turned to her lover. “Things are desperate,” she said, desperately, in desperation.
“What has happened?” Asked the woman.
“Who are you?” Asked Tina.
“It is I, Jennifer D. Shechter. Are I not the love of your life?”
“Perhaps I am not that desperate,” Tina thought while at the same time saying the words out loud.
“Oh, that is too bad, for I am an artiste,” declared the artist known as JDS as well as being known as ‘Jenny the kook who lives next to my ex- and babymamma.’
“I thought my lover was an artiste.” Tina thought, again outloud, the writer not wanting to bother with single quote marks to denote silent thought.
“I am,” declared her lover.
Yes, this was the lover that Tina was thinking was her one true love. Jodi. Also known as Jodi, the artist known as Jodi.
“I am sorry, Jenny, but I consider sculpture a higher art form than writing.”
“I am sorry, also, Tina, that your priorities are so skewed.”
“I am not sorry,” Jodi said, “except for the fact that I am dragged into this story and it makes no sense.”
“Oh, sorry,” said the writer, realizing that no one was listening to her.
# # #
Meanwhile, back at the Den of Despair, aka, the Porter Home, Bette was sitting on the couch of despair and crysmiling.
Alice entered and looked at Bette. “Bette, guess what?”
“What, Alice? What could possibly be more important than me.”
“I’m going to be on TV, Bette.”
“You are on TV, Alice, you’re fiction.”
“No, not like that, I’m going to be on TV for real.”
“Oh.” And in some way that made no sense, all of this made sense to Bette. “When?”
“Soon. Maybe. It’s hard to tell since this TV time is not exactly like unTV time, is it.”
“No, it is not,” Bette agreed. “Just recently I was fucking Tina.”
“I thought that was seasons ago.”
“No, this was so very recent that you have not seen the reruns yet.”
“Oh,” Alice nodded as if she understood, or as if she was modeling to be the bobble-head Alice. Either way, she didn’t understand.
“Anyway, I think that conversation is too meta for now.”
“Yes, let’s have that later, and then watch ourselves in reruns so we know what we said.”
“Let’s,” Bette agreed.
“Where’s your girlfriend?”
“Where’s your girlfriend?”
Bette and Alice looked at each other realizing that neither knew which one had spoken first.
Meanwhile, back on the army base, Tina snuck into Tasha’s office. “I’m only here for a short time,” she said.
“How did you get away from Jodi and Jenny?”
“They started arguing about who created the bestest art, and then it turned into an orgy of self-love.”
“Literally?”
“And figuratively. On paper and in multiple dimensions.”
“Ewww.”
“Exactly. So, I knew that I had to come see you.” Tina threw her arms around Tasha’s shoulders. “Because I want to fuck you,” she fuckingly said in a fucktastic voice while kicking up a leg clad in a fuck-me heel.
“Yeah, baby,” Tasha agreed. “Just don’t tell.”
“I promise,” Tina promised, in a promising way. “I won’t tell anyone.”
And so, thus ends the epic story of how TnT became the hottest couple to light up WeHo, leaving Bette and Alice on the couch of despair and Jenny and Jodi trying to out-art each other. The Soap is all about teh Hot, and with TnT, it’s on!
Comments
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
My stars are going buh-bye…my true fans have found this epic work! Welcome!
Would you feel better if I gave it a 1? Hmm?
I already know you love me, Lamento…we are to be wed, as I recall.
Eh, I gave it a 2. I can’t bring myself to be mean enough to give it a 1.
There was no yelling, there was only DTSsSu remarking that Bette is NOT a pootie chasing dog. She loves Tina, though only God alone knows why. She has always loved Tina. Tina’s motivations for having sex with Bette seem alot less clear. Su is feeling troubled and does not want to think about Tina or the wedding of Sop the Droap and Lament. Su goes to her beloved, if lumpy, refuge, and hopes she will be able to think of a poem soon.
lol 3rd person speak. Why does Bette love Tina? Because Tina best. Okay Soapy give us something new to comment on because this is getting a bit stale, no offense.
Hello DropTheSoap, that was fantastic… the merging of fiction and reality to create fictionality… love it… and Love your constant switching up of the pairings… I’m hoping that you end up hooking up Tina and Kit at some point that would be freaking hilarious… keep up the amazing work. Sincerely, JC (a polyshipper I would say)…
Su is too confused to even comment. Bring back ninja baby and the puppies, at least I understood that one. I will just sit here on the couch of despair and wait…for what, I am not yet sure. Hopefully something good.
Aw yeah! TnT! now *that* makes me wanna get down with the get-down. All the way down. I. Am. Down. So down, I’m up.
TNT also knows drama. Tasha, there’s no reason to tell because no one’s asking. They’re all too busy getting high, fucking themselves, or both. And then there’s Kit who, once she seems to have mastered the English language, becomes a stereotype again via the writers, so Bob only knows what is up wid hurr rite nao.
…Everything that’s wonderful is what I feel when we’re together. Brighter than a lucky penny…great now Lesley Gore will be stuck in my head for the next week.
So who’s Bob?
Some guy sometimes known as Pete, sometimes as God. Something like that. I think Leroy is an option too.
Make sense? String together words and have them make sense? High expectations!
SHE AREN’T NEITHER!!!
T&T, I’m liking it. Tina and anyone really. Bette’s a self-important pootie chasin’ dog and Tina can do better than her. Tina and…who’s next Soap? How about Helena back in the scene – she’s got potential as long as she gets a personality back.
Who aren’t what DTSsLSu?
*puts in earplugs* Jesus wtf is up with all the yelling up in here? I swear to Odin an argument better not start. Medium to high serious, people. Anymore than that and the intarwebz is not the place for you.