Ch 18

‘I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am when I am with you.’ – Roy Croft

McCutcheon’s Mansion

Guest Room

Carmen’s POV

I am stuffing everything into my bag and wanting to leave this place as soon as possible.

Shane comes in.  Seeing what I am doing, her expression turns dark.

“What are you doing?  Did I do something wrong?”  She asks in an extremely concern voice. 

“I know when I am not wanted.” I am trying hard to hold back my tears.

“What are you talking about?”  She frowns her eyebrows, looking puzzled.

“Ask your Dad!  I don’t even know what I am doing here with you. What am I to you?”

“You are my girlfriend!”  Shane says unpretentiously.  

“You say that but I am falling head over heels for you and the last thing that I need is your Dad to pay me off like I am a distraction to you.  You know sometimes I tell myself that maybe you do love me and all this is real and you just need sometime to adjust to being in a relationship… I should give you all the time you need.  Or… or maybe your Dad knows something that I don’t.  Maybe this is all a lie. Maybe all this is just a game to you, and see if this girl will accept the cheque or not?”  I am on a roll here.    

She just frowns and narrows her eyes, like she is implying ‘what the fuck are you on about?’

“It’s all my fault for falling in love with a notorious player!  Everyone warned me but I didn’t listen.  Why?  Because all the things that you do make me think that you love me.  You made me think that I am the special one.  Is it all my imagination?”  I say in between sobs and hiccups.

After I finish my babble, I look up and there she is standing next to the bed with her hands shoved in her pockets, starring at me amusingly.

“So you are admitting that you have been lying to me since we met, you are just toying with me!  I am just a stupid girl manipulated by the great player Shane McCutcheon!”  I scream even louder.