Fan Fiction
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Phototropic 12
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Fourteen.
“Sometimes I think as a child I liked to play with matches. I use to take my mother’s fancy perfume out to the woods near our home. I was very careful and sneaky about it. Heh….covert…I was good at that…I think. It just hit me you know? Anyhow I would collect all the loose leafs and twigs and pile them up high you know, and I would douse the pile with mom’s perfume and I would wait for it burn. But it never did anything more than smoke the twigs and leafs. It use to piss me off. And I would come home and mother she would smell the weird burnt mix of my failed fires and her missing perfume and she wouldn’t know what to do….I think she said “Shane go play with your father…..” I think…no…I know. It was like being shot…the memory…like life leaving, getting cold; numb….I’ve been laying here thinking back to that…..my head feels like it’s on fire. And it all sorta came back. You know?”
Pavel sits with his head in his hands. He keeps saying how this was not happening to him. But it was. It’s happening to both of us. I guess I should indulge him and ask him what happened but I think I know already. And she will be walking thought that door bout ready to kill me.
Will she play fair? Will she kiss me goodbye? Will it painful or painfully sweet? Will she tell me she loves me, she never meant any of this happen? Will she say nothing and just calming, cool, fire round after round till I don’t matter to her anymore? Will there be enough bullets for her to erase me?
God only knows.
And what of it? This thing about God. Will God be there on the other side? Will there be light, or the most painful of flames? It’s all gone round, made its stops, fragments of time and actions. A countdown right down to the end. Will God forgive everything I’ve done if I ask?
I’ll find out soon enough. That last flash forward in time, rewind I should say. It hurt. Like a motherfucker. I guess the real question is: do I really feel the need for forgiveness? Is that more important than whatever Carmen and I have?Another answer for the crack in the sky. All those people walking and thinking. Not knowing that my soul is on the line. You have to laugh. You have to and I do.
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Brilliant as always. I’m actually intrigued/curious about the relationship Shane and Carmen had during the period between Survivalism training and Shane losing her memory. I like that you write (very well-written) dark stories; there are not enough of them out there. Your stories are like a slow burn: they hurt, but the hurt is good for us because it reminds us that you cannot always have happy endings, no matter how much you want them.
FUCk… i hate to say the ending was brilliant because i cried like a mother fucker but… fuck… thats the perfect word to express how i feel right now… FUCK… i knew something like this was coming… i wanted to see more carmen cryin but i guess carmen blowing up did it fro you lol for your next fic please dont do it about sport thats too boring you are made for this kind of unpredictable fica… sports? thats not you! thats easy! lol i dont know… i get lost is your luntic writing. yes want a hapy story but also i want it to be crazzy as hell! after al thats like your mark, craziness!
I agree with the FUCK feeling….I mean yeah….FUCK!!!!! That was unexpected and powerfull and wow…!!!!!!!!! Your writing has such a strong impact on your readers.Issopowerfull sometimes i can barely take it really.Thank soo mcuh for this amazing story and im looking forward to your next one.Whatever it is im sure it would be great.I dont mind a fluffy one.Im actually kind of curious to see how it would be.So bring it on!!!!! Take care!
Woo hoo! I’m so stoked that you’re going to be writing another story sometime, whatever it happens to be about. I’m not into sports, but I know that won’t matter and I know that you always put your stamp on the stories you write, light or dark, so it’ll be awesome (what you did with “Le Mer” was AMAZING). As you may have noticed by how I began my comment (‘Woo hoo!’), I didn’t actually read this last chapter. I’m one of those who couldn’t make it to the very end, at least not yet. I read the comments first then the author’s note (I’m a cheater, I know) to prepare myself. Now that I kind of know what happened, I think I’ll just revisit this last chapter when I’m in that ‘I can handle a death’ mood again (not in it right now). Either way, I read every single word of the rest of the story and was always floored. How you keep all these intricate plots in your head is beyond me. . . and that’s just for one story! Exceptional.
So I finally read this. And, damn, that’s pretty messed up. So they really didn’t love each other anymore. :( Sad, but it’s a damn good story.