Shane POV – Part 1 of 2

The first thing I notice when I wake up is that she’s still by my side. She’s sleeping.
”And I’ve been waiting for this moment for all my life”.
I am not. I thought I was sleeping, but the only thing I was doing was thinking. My vision was alive and kicking, incessant behind my closed eyelids. Just like my brain that never stops functioning despite all the damage I could do to myself.
“If you told me you were drowning… I would not lend a hand”
I stare at the ceiling. I’m scared of turning my head just to discover that I’m wrong, that it’s just my imagination and nothing of all this is real.
“I’ve seen your face before, my friend…”

It’s late at night. Everything is silent. Her breathing fills the whole room.
I can hear the trees outside; there’s a small, caressing wind moving them slowly. But it feels like they’re so far away, like on another planet while we’re here, entrapped on a satellite lost in the cosmos.
It’s peaceful and all I want is this moment to last forever. That tomorrow never comes.
My head hurts, I am sure that when I will try to move it everything will spin around me, because alcohol is still there, entangled between my synapsis. But it doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter.
Tomorrow doesn’t matter, hangover doesn’t matter, yesterday doesn’t matter. I try to convince myself that what happened three years ago doesn’t matter, also. That the only important thing is this moment. Suspended. Frozen. Still. Endless.

In her sleep, she moves her right hand and suddenly all of those five fingers are brushing gently my naked chest.
“…But I don’t know if you know who I am”
I feel like my heartbeat is passing from me to her just through that simple contact. I wish I had her heart, sometimes, because her heart rules her world so well, while mine never speaks enough. My body speaks – my body yells, actually – but what lies beneath is often so silent.
Everything inside me has been so silent during the last three years. I thought I was feeling something when I was with Paige, then with Molly. Molly was actually working her magic, but it wasn’t Carmen’s.
“Well, I was there and I saw what you did, I saw it with my own two eyes. So you can wipe off the grin, I know where you’ve been – It’s all been a pack of lies”