m Into You…Not The Badge You Have To Wear-Chapter 17

5 years previous:

Tina had confessed her love for Helena and then everything went horribly wrong, the accident with Olivia. It had shocked the hell out of her. She had realised that Helena was actually in a relationship and that her love was not going to be reciprocated. It was like her heart was slowly dying. Her relationship with Bette was in turmoil and she didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. But even scarier that she was to blame for Olivia falling down and may not even survive.

That night she had packed her bags and left Bette a note…she decided that after everything she and Bette had gone through in the past few years. It would be in Angelica’s best interest to leave her with Bette. She wasn’t abandoning her daughter but she needed time and space. And she knew in her own heart that if she took their daughter with her Bette would never forgive her it, and she would never forgive herself for that matter.

Bette,

I’m sorry for what I’m about to do but I need some time apart. I’m not sure where i’m going or when I’ll be back. But I know that you will look after our daughter, I know you’ve known for a while that things between us haven’t been right. That’s why I’m going away to make things right. Let Helena know that I’m sorry. And more importantly I’m sorry to you for not telling you how i’ve been feeling. I’ll always love you and Angie. Speak soon

Love always T

And with that Tina was gone she got into her car and drove off into the night as Bette lay sleeping with Angelica. The next morning Bette awoke with Angie to find Tina’s note. As the words trailed off her lips ‘need some time apart’. She was astonished that Tina had done this; she knew things were bad but she didn’t know it had gotten to this extent. Part of her was angry but she understood Tina’s uncritical thinking. They both had lost their way.

Months had past and still Tina had not returned home although she wrote letters nearly every other week. It was not the same; Bette missed her life partner but was unsure if she returned would anything change. Life had moved on and she had a few changes to her life, finding a child minder for Angie in which was a hard job but Alice had offered and she was grateful that someone she knew loved Angie would be there caring for her. A new woman started at Bette’s gallery her name was Jodi Lerner. A very talented artist that Bette would be working side by side with, although she was beautiful she was no Tina and would never compare. But all the same she would ask her out on a date, there was just one slight problem there and that was the communication problem. But Bette being Bette she would always find away. So she went to learn sign language at the nearest community centre. And a few days later she asked Jodi out…and then here they were a few months into a relationship when Tina returns home.

Tina had figured out all she needed to figure out and decided to come back home after 4 months of being absent from both Bette’s and her daughters life it was time to face the music. Because Bette had never written about Jodi, Tina was oblivious about the situation but she knew she loved Bette and that she loved Helena as a friend and confused it for something more than it was. Her heart belonged to Bette and somehow always had.

It took awhile as Tina sat from a distance as Bette and Jodi dated but she could not blame her for trying to move on with her life. It wasn’t fair to expect her to wait around while she was in Paris for those 4months. So she tried to be happy for Bette and her new found love. She focused her energies on her career, Angie and her friends. This was her new life or so she thought.