On the drive into Redondo, Helena reflected on the meeting she’d just had at the studio.  She began to contemplate whether her heart was truly in the movie making business.  She had decided to purchase Shaolin on a whim.  In all honesty, she had wanted an excuse to stay in Los Angeles and didn’t know what to do with all her money.   When she’d offered Tina an executive position, she thought it might be a good way to stay connected with the group of women from which she so desperately sought acceptance.  And by helping Tina out with a job while Bette was struggling to make ends meet, she thought she might win over her former nemesis. 

She smiled to herself, remembering her childish behavior and how she had goaded Bette.  When the statuesque gallery director had waltzed into her office in New York demanding funding for the California Arts Center, Helena was intrigued as well as aroused.  But she kept her emotions in check and put up a guard so as not to let her sexual appetite trounce her professional demeanor.  After a while, it became a game to see how far she could push Bette.  My, how things change, she thought.  Although there was no denying that Bette was a stunning woman, Helena no longer desired her sexually.  What she really wanted was Bette’s friendship.  She saw what a loyal confidante she had been with all the other women in the group and wanted that strong alliance for herself.  She finally felt that they were on the road to recovery and could now call Bette a friend.

When she met Dylan, all of her past ways fell to the wayside.    Gone were her predatory practices.  This time, her pursuit of a woman was quite passive.  She had let it be known from the beginning that she was attracted to Dylan, but she had let the other woman control the direction of the relationship.  For the first time, Helena left herself open and vulnerable.  And it had come back to bite her in the ass.  She vowed that she would be much more careful and guarded in the future.  Not that she could even fathom a new relationship right now.  She was still quite hung up on Dylan, despite her betrayal.  Being at the studio day in and day out only added salt to the wound.  Everywhere she turned, she was constantly reminded of Dylan:  her office, the couch in her office, even Tina’s office where they had their first meeting.  Besides all that, she really hated the direction Shaolin was deciding to take.  In order to start operating in the black, they had sold out.  Helena had envisioned producing quality independent and art house pictures, but now the studio wanted to put out violent action blockbusters.   She didn’t know how long she’d be able to last there.  But she had to keep working since she had none of her wealth to fall back on.