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Where You Go There You Are
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Chapter 49
Bette feels glued to her seat, her heart constricting by Angelica’s words. Looking across the table she feels too far away as the tears silently fall down Angelica’s face. In that face Bette sees not only the little girl in front of her but also herself when she was young. “Yes the whispers.’ She knows these feelings because she has experienced them herself.
Getting up she picks up her chair and moves it next to Angelica’s and sits down. Angelica knows that Bette is beside her but is now bowing her head down. Bumping shoulders with Angelica she gets Angelica to look at her. The look of hurt and sadness in her eyes pulls at Bette’s heart bring back all the inadequate feelings that plagued Bette for most of her young adult life.
"Oh honey" Bette says while bringing her arm up and surrounding Angelica’s shoulders. Pulling her close in a comforting hug, "I know that feeling only too well."
Bette could feel Angelica lean into her and accept the hug allowing Bette to place her chin on top of Angelica’s head. They stayed like this each gaining comfort from the closeness. Bette’s mind went back to her own childhood. A life she too lived without her mother who had also been white. But for Bette life had been different. For her it was her mother who had abandoned her, leaving her to be raised by her father in a black household. Her father had been loving but strict. Whenever Bette was received by her Father’s family she too had felt the whispers. Those were the first memories of her cousins, them standing back whispering behind their hands thinking that she couldn’t see or hear.
Those incidents continued but unfortunately for Bette, her cousins hadn’t been the last to whisper behind her back. Bette understood exactly what Angelica meant when she stated she "Didn’t feel good enough.” She herself had been made to feel that way more than once. The whispers were seeds of doubt planted in her psyche that caused her to question everything about herself right down to her very existence. Yes she knew about the ‘whispers’.
"Oh honey I do know what you mean. I have heard those same whispers for most of my life. You can never make them go away but that doesn’t mean they have to hurt you every time they come."
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For Angelica, 16 and hurting; Bette doesn’t have much time to help her understand her otherness; Tina’s love for Angelica made her a strong young woman and has the ability to feel/understand what Bette is saying. Great story; can’t wait for the conclusion. Thanks!
Amazing, Jwet. How could Angelica not love Bette, even after discovering the truth. I only hope Tina is able to be as open when confronted… the time for secrets and guilt are over. Not happy about your story coming to an end before Christmas though!
Bette did a great job explaining things to Angelica… I have no doubt that Tina will do the same when given the chance. I look forward to all three of them talking. thanks for the update!
I haven’t commented in a while, but haven’t missed reading a chapter. I look for them every day. I love this story and will be so sad when it ends. However, I do hope that Bette and Tina will somehow see the light and be able to come back together not only for themselves, but for Angelica as well. There is so much hurt and misunderstanding going on right now, but I’m sure that can be replaced with love and forgiveness eventually. Angelica needs Bette as a mother and mentor and Tina & Bette need each other as the only true love either have ever known. PPS!
That was amazing!
great advice that Bette is giving Angelica… BUT I cant help but think of the time when Tina and/or Bette tell Angelica what Bette was to Angelica. Will Angelica be able to forgive Tina and Bette? That’ll be the next big question….. And does Bette still have feelings for Tina and visa versa? I think I read that earlier… It must be killin Bette to not tell her secret to Angelica.
Wonderful Jwet. Bette is finally getting thru to Angelica. The love Bette feels for Angie is so sweet, loving and protective. Hopefuly when this conversation with Angie is over, Bette can forgive herself for her betrayal of Tina and what it has done to Angie over the years. I only wish Angie had talked to her mother about her feelings. Hope they can talk to Tina soon. Then Tina can explain some things to Angie and maybe make her feel a lot better about herself and her situation. Hopefully Tina will tell her about Bette and who she is and just how lucky Angie was to have landed in LA and with her other mother and aunts to protect her. Maybe? PPS
still reading and lovin this jwet, this interaction between bette and angelica is so touching, pps!!
Good job, Bette. Let’s hope Tina is equally able.
bette is really doing great with angelica…i hope all three of them together with tina can sit down and talk
certainly loving this process your taking us on. a very good lesson. i also do wonder how angie will react. kids, hmmm… ya never know. thx
Tina should have seen this coming a mile away,since she was the one who was concern of all this “otherness” that their child would have to face.From her first day of pre-school Angelica should have been prepare to deal with those “whispering” that Tina knew was going to come
Amazing!!!! I am glad Bette is helping Angie. I just hope Tina will tell Angie the truth. Thank you
Mostly a silent reader but I needed to say that this is an amazing story and I know I will read part 2 when this is over to see how B&T can get back together.
Great writing Jwet! The “talk” reminded me of a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that holds deep significance for me. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
i love this story…i hope bette is getting thru to angelica. i wonder how she will feel towards bette when she finds out about bette and tina. please keep it going.