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The Dying of the Light Part 15
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Our existence is finite. Mere moments in the expanse of the universe.
Mortal bodies of blood and bone then whither and die. Shrinking away; hidden beneath the Earth from the Suns pale gaze.
Ephemeral sculptures; art by a being higher, a big ‘bang’ – excited particles dancing about to create life… Create celestial bodies that we inhabit, destroy.
We are nothing, and we are everything. A world unto our own with rules and values that sometimes hold true, often do not. With loves and losses and all the pain and joy that they bring into our lives. We live with an eternal truth; we will die…
If there was a choice at how death could come to be, how to snuff out an existence with a blink of an eye, a flick of a wrist, a detonated explosive or a bullet… if there was a choice, how many would choose to take their own lie before life could take them.
A moment in time is a lifetime, and it is nothing. It means the world to the fragile and to the truly eternal it is over before it even began…
It’s the difference between choice and action. A frank exchange before we move on – to where, to what.
Sometimes she wonders if she wants to move on at all. Wonders if the world would have been better without her existence.
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The pain was exciting, like sex on the beach or driving 200 m/ph on the highway. It’s as addictive as any adrenaline sport, as any drug.
The euphoria was intoxicating, and the one feeling that she has had in the last many months that Bette doesn’t want to give up. The one thing that she has the power over, and that itself is worth everything.
The first couple of cuts on her wrist are shallow, like she is afraid to cut deeper. Afraid to walk the path that she had chosen by design. She doesn’t really feel the fear on a conscious level, only the relief of knowing that she will be walking away from everything. That she will be swallowed up by the darkness of her own design, by the creatures that have wooed her over.
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Kit swatted at her eyes, trying the get her bearings. She wasn’t sure what had get Tina all in a tizzy and her sleep addled brain wasn’t going to help her get any close to an understanding. “Tina, I left her a few hours ago, she was tired and a little withdrawn but fine.”
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This is just making me so angry, that Kit and Helena are sitting around going la la la la while Bette DIES. WHY are they not watching her? Why are they leaving her alone, unconnected, with sharp instruments, behind a locked door? After one attempt already? Still boggles the mind also that people think Tina and Angie should be there..she does not need Tina and Angie should not be seeing her mother bleed to death..it’s insane. What Bette needs now if she lives, is hospitalization, supervision 24/7,intensive therapy, and friends who step up and act like friends, or even like people with brains.So far they have been neither. Please don’t let Kit, etc go slobbering all over Bette like it wasn’t their damned faults that they let Bette nearly die. Wonderful story..evokes such intense emotion.
I can understand you leaving this story during the holidays. It is very difficult to read so I can only imagine writing it. So powerful and such vivid descriptions… just incredible. Hope Kit heeded Tina’s warning and was on her way over, Helena will also need some support. Hope you had a lovely holiday and wish you the best for 2009.
Oh Gosh! Deean, this was exactly the deadly result we were anticipating some chappies ago. Jeeezzz! As we said before, the torch of hope and love needs to reach Bette. That will require not only therapy but also the love of her friends and her family. The process, though will take a long while. You are doing such an extraordinary job, here. It is just amazing how you are writing this story. We truly admire the way in which all the scenes are very realistic, though painful. Thanks for having the courage to keep the flow of this difficult tale. PPS Hugs and kisses on both your cheeks.- Lucero & Marsha (Proud Salsa Aunties to the ever loving JC and Eunichick)
Wow, I have been waiting impatiently for this chappie. I hope Helelna got to Bette soon enough. I’m surprised Tina waited this long before going to Bette, go Tina, go to Bette. Great story, and as always incredible chapter.
WOW… thank god helenia got the message… and went to check on bette… i hope tina hears whats going on and grabs angie and gets over there… what a story… pps
OK…maybe I was wrong before..this is the low for Bette and I hope Tina gets to her soon. pps
This is really a great story, but I’m nearly grateful that there was no chapter at Christmas (only because it is so depressive). It is so sad to see someone suffer that much. The description how Bette acts and how Bette thinks is amazing. You did a very wonderful job. The way you told the story in two tempos underlined the content. Thank you.
I hope that Helena got to Bette in time. Everyone seems to be angry with Tina. Help do something to help Bette. You just can;t let her wander alone in her darkness. There are hospital and Kit could have commited her. For sure Tina is on her way,but I agree Angie shouldn’t see her Mom like this.Thanks
Glad Helena at least listened to Tina or Bette wouldn’t have had a chance. If emergency personnel hurries to them maybe she will have a chance to survice and get the help she so desperately needs. Kit should have her head kicked in for not listening to Tina. Tina needs to take the baby and go over there, the baby is too young to understand and she is asleep and will probably stay asleep. Tina does need to be there and she should have made Bette understand what the legal papers said and not let Bette just read a portion of them instead of just walking away. All this is so difficultfor everyone and especially for the principals involved and way too emotional for them all to interact without some malice toward each other. Maybe this will take away those sad, terrible feelings and bring some understanding back to them all and that will allow Bette to heal emotionally and Bette and Tina to heal. Great chapter and very difficult to read. I can not imagine how ou have written this story in the first place, it is so fraught with deep emotion and heartbreak. Hopefully the tide will begin to turn. Post when you can.
Again, this is an amazing story! Bette’s pain was palpable as was Tina’s desperation to have Kit and Helena understand her concerns. Let’s hope that Helena’s quick thinking helped Bette to survive and eventually land on the road to recovery. You’re a fantastic writer and I look forward to each and every one of your posts.
i knew helena would listen because she is the only who spent time talking to tina about everything including how she felt and her side of things… okay now lets get bette the help she needs. also tina needs her own help… to get her head clear… awesome:)PPS
this story sucks u in from the first chapter, you really make us feel everything bette is feeling, your story is so sad but riviting can’t wait for more
Yes Tina should have told Bette what the papers said, but of course she didn’t, even after she knew Bette misunderstood. She said nothing, as usual. Now though, Bette is past caring what they say, or what Tina says. She has left the actual world into the hell in her own soul. Part of her wants to live, though, or she wouldn’t have called Tina. If she can hang onto that part of her, she can make it. See how you are Deean, how you make us worry and ache so for this fictional character, because of your excellent writing!