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No Me Ames; #05
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“Good to see that you’re awake, Helena,” Doctor Michaels said as he walked into the room, “You really took a bump there.”
“I must have been really exhausted,” I confessed as I ran my fingers through my hair, “It’s been a very long three months.”
He cleared his throat, “This is going to be hard to say because of the circumstances,” he told us.
“What is it?” I asked, frowning, preparing myself for what he had to say. What now? I had cancer or something?
“Helena,” he said slowly, “Congratulations. You’re three months pregnant.”
***
Antiretroviral treatment.
Combination therapy.
Protease inhibitors.
Fusion or entry inhibitors.
Integrase inhibitors.
First line therapy.
Second line therapy.
NNRTI.
Ritonavir.
Zidovudine.
Lamivudine.
Viral loading tests.
All these words and terms that I didn’t understand. Medication that Bette would have to take, treatments that she would be on for life. How long would that life be?
I absent-mindedly placed my hand onto my stomach; a new life blossoming inside of me.
Two months ago, I felt it. The nausea, the cravings, the tiredness that seemed to have overcome my system, but with my mind swimming with worry about Bette’s condition, I simply pushed any other thoughts aside. But you know, I did feel her…him…inside of me.
I looked over at Bette who was listening attentively to Doctor Michaels’ careful explanation about precautionary measures, drugs and therapy. Not all was lost, HIV was not a death sentence, but I knew that this would drastically affect our lives and our relationship. There was also a stigma attached to this disease; HIV was so misunderstood.
Simply put, it was just the break down of a person’s immune system.
Now that I was pregnant, how would this affect the life of our unborn child?
Bette suddenly turned to me and took my hand in hers, smiling briefly before turning back to listen to Doctor Michaels.
From the moment that he broke the news that Bette had contracted HIV, she had not flinched or shown the slightest bit of worry. The last thing I wanted was for her to bury her own frustrations from me. I wanted to help her through this, just like the way we had always helped each other.
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Hospital can make mistakes Let hope that this is true with Bette. Helena can’t let harsh words from Bette upset her, not only doe she worry about Bette she needs to spend time on her and the baby. Bette needs to get up and get back to work, She can have pity partys but if she has aids she need to stay upbeat and very healthy. She is going to be a Mom,as well as a wife. thanks
Hello My Most Amazing Cuzzie… You continue to handle this story with so much delicacy and tenderness and sheer ambition… I can completely understand how you might become so focused on this story as it really is an important one with an important message and it continues to push your own personal limits so beautifully… if you were having any kind of hesitation believing you are a genuine honest to goodness ‘WRITER’ this proves it completely… the torments that Helena is going to continue to suffer as Bette goes through all the stages of grief are going to take there toll and she might feel like running… but if she remains strong she will see just how much love “Bette” will always have for her even if she finds herself Alone in the end… her children will always be a reminder of the love they once and will always share… you are completely amazing my amazing Cuzzie… I feel I should lay my pen to rest and allow a master like you to reign supreme. Always and Forever, Love and Hugs, JC (Latin Nephew to those Salsa Angels and YOUR ever loving Cuzzie)
E once again another great chapter…sometimes it’s not easy for one to get devestating news like that of Bette and then also, your partner at the sametime finding out your carrying a child. HIV in today’s time is not a curse, like it was at the start when there were no madicines to at least slow down the process. I am not very informative but today there is hope unlike when it first came to the open. And yes the sfety measures one must take and the hardest part,,,accepting that you have HIV on both parts of the relationship. One of them must always be stronger to help the other and sometimes it takes a toll……even when there is much love. One can only hope that love and comprehension will make thier lives full and a new baby to come. Loved it!
agree with all of the other comments…well done!!!
Euni – this story is so emotionally gripping. Helena is talking about her fears and she seems to be the one falling apart. Bette is definitely in denial but I hope that the rest of the family doesn’t forget about Helena’s needs for support in the process of caring for “the injured one” i.e. Bette. I have seen it happen so many times that the family suffers worse than the actual patient. Thanks for posting such a meaningful story!
Hey East, someone once said love is patient, please give them both a big dose of it. Thank you, Md
sorry Euni, I called you the wrong name, thats embarrasseing. Md
My suggestion to Helena. Forget the porridge. Go lay down with your lady. Hold her and cry together…. As usual your story grips and hurts. So heavy, deep and real, my young enuicki-chicki-whicki! Now I’m wishing for a blind Helena…Fuck
I know this must be a hard story to write and more power to you for taking up the cause. Bette is only acting the way most people would. It’s not easy to except ones faith when you are put in a situation not of your making. Life isn’t always easy and it never has been, nor will it ever be. Sometimes I have to ask myself why me? or her? or you? And my only answer is why not. Excellent chapter by the way! And I can’t wait to read more, even if I find it somewhat painful to read at times. But you can always make it some kind of mix up at the hospital. You know it can happen. Just a thought.
euni euni euni euni! Gosh I feel so horrible for Helena…she’s so torn up inside when things should be happy…and now Bette’s fallen into that ‘cover your head in bed’ stage! You just really know how to create some angst! Glad you had a good weekend…now get to work on the next chapter! I’ll be needing my fix soon! Please and Thank You! :)
Gosh I don’t know what to say except that I feel terrible for the both of them. I agree with Jac let there be a mix up at the hospital …… puleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssseeeeeee