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No Me Ames; #06
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In the kitchen, I started taking out the groceries I had just brought back, trying to ignore the overwhelming pain that was washing over me. I placed the meats into the freezer and used the back of my hand to whip away the tears that had started streaming down my cheeks.
I wanted to be understanding; I needed to be strong for the both of us.
I emptied a cup of rice into the boiling water on the stove and stirred it as I looked out the window at the moonlight that shimmered on the surface of the pool in our backyard.
This might not have been the ideal situation to be pregnant, but I loved Bette. Regardless of what it took, I was determined to stay by her side through these soon to be tougher times.
***
I walked into our bedroom, holding the bowl of steaming porridge. Noticing that Bette was still curled up under the blanket, I set the bowl down on the table and went over to her. I sat down beside her, placing my hand on her, feeling her slow breathing.
“Baby,” I said steadily, “I…I brought some porridge for you to eat if you’re hungry…”
“Just leave it,” she replied from under the blanket.
“Bette, will you please talk to me? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she retorted, “Just leave me alone, I want to be alone.”
I reached out and threw my arms over her, the tears rushing down my cheeks as I felt the warmth of her body radiate from beneath the sheets, “Please don’t push me away, Bette, please don’t do this…”
She suddenly sat up, pushing me away and moving to the other end of our bed, “Don’t touch me,” she shouted. That was when I noticed that her eyes were red and swollen from crying. Looking at the pools forming in her eyes made my heart ache.
“Darling,” I said, “I know that you’re in pain…”
“What would you know?” she replied, “You don’t know how this feels for me…why me, Helena? Why did this have to happen to me? I had everything I ever wanted in my life…I was happy. I never did anything to hurt anyone. So why me?!”
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Well done Eunichicki-Wicky. SO Bette’s gone through denial, now anger. Next up bargaining, or is it depression?
Jeezs eunichick you sure do make some torturous stories but that’s what keeps me coming back for more. :-)
Oh…another gut-wrenching chapter. Gawd, I could just see Bette and Helena bawling their eyes out. Your processing of their emotions was so incredible. Euni, this just brings me to tears in a good way. Let’s hope moves into the acceptance stage soon. Perhaps when she sees her unborn child for the first time, everything will fall into place.
OMG this story is absolutely beautiful and I think bette should get asecond opinion… btw what happened to the cabbie??? thanks =D
The stages that Bette is going through will be many. Each one will be different and some mild some very strong. The road that she and helena will seem all uphill,but the top will be reach and the down slopes will be less rough and rocky. She has a wife that is full of love for her plus a new baby on the way. and lots of people that loves her. What not to fight for. thanks
I love this story, you are so accurate with how you process everything. At first all you can see is the “death”sentnce, and push away everyone and evrything close to you. Save them from any pain, but then you realize, there is always hope, and start living one day at a time. Everyday is precious…thanks..PPS
It seems like I’m getting ‘she’s getting ready to post vibes’ from somewhere out in the universe, euni…cuz every morning I wake up in the middle of the night and turn on my computer and suddenly there you are with your story! So that’s a good thing for this ol’ chronic insomniac! And please…don’t ever question your writing! My words can’t convey accurately to you how marvelous your words are! They take me to the moon and back! Heheh If you were a book, I’d never put you down! :) I just wanted to crawl into bed with Bette & Helena and hold them both through their pain…but thank you for the happy moment at the end of the chapter. Thank you, euni!
I must agree with Zheese on this one. You should never question your writing skills. You have took it to another level. My motto in life is you live for today and you hope to see a better tomorrow. Bette and Helena have something special there. Let’s just hope Bette gives it a chance. But there’s one thing that I can’t help but wonder. Helena seems to be talking in the past tense. I would prefer to be wrong.
ditto that with V, Z, and JOC!! You have captured this amazingly..extremely well done!!!
Nice updates…I see the road is rocky but the love should smooth it out eventually and find some kind of answers to what life has to throw at them.I need your update though chick..
This story is so hard to read but I’ll try my best to stick to it. I recognize every stage Bette is going through cause I’ve been there with my mom and the hardest thing they can do to you is pushing you away. I’m glad Bette came to her senses again at the end and is willing to give Helena a chance to stand by her in this awful mess.
E once again your did it again,,,,,wonderful. all the emotions are there and you can feel them. Pain for them both is not going to leave but if there is love then it won’t be as bad. Always, there needs to be communication either it being good or bad news. WEll done, and don’t think otherwise!!
Dearest niece of ours: We just wanted to drop by and let you know that we are following this story from the very beginning. Your in-depth analysis, including all the stages that HIV patients go through, is very important. You are doing justice to the difficult topic you chose to write. You are very talented, dearest niece. Never doubt your writing. We could feel all the emotions that Bette and Helena are experiencing and we could visualize the scenes you are unveiling. The pace of the story is also perfect. All we can say is keep telling us this tale. You are doing an amazing job, here. PPS Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks. Lucero & Marsha (Proud Salsa Aunties to the ever loving JC and Eunichick)