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Reconciliation-Part 43, Finale B-1
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Finale B part 1
On the drive home Raquel looked out the window at the busy LA city lights reflecting on her time with Helena. Helena had always been a challenge for her. She was her match in so many ways, beautiful, successful, wealthy, but she was hard to understand. Although it started as a pickup for fun and release of some of her sexual energy, it progressed into something much more. More than she or Helena was expecting. It was more than the challenge of keeping Helena’s attention. It was the beautiful, sweet, kind, tender lover who cared deeply for her friends and family that caused her to fall for her and open her life up to her more than she ever had with anyone. But she was afraid to go further and really let her in to pain she still held over losing her parents to a lengthy triangular love affair. The situation between her, Helena and Dylan reminded her of it in some ways and she was afraid of falling into a similar painful situation and disastrous outcome for everyone. She often wondered why her mother wouldn’t choose between her two lovers or why her father didn’t just leave. She didn’t understand it and they were gone and she will never be able to ask why. Instead she decided she would be the one to step away. Helena might never choose between the two of them. She knew Helena still loved Dylan, the ring confirmed everything she thought about them. The look in Helena’s eyes told her she still loved her, but Raquel had already failed on her first motto in life, “no entanglements, don’t fall in love”, so she was definitely not going to fail on the second, “no triangles” .
Her mother, Carmen, never married her father although she had three children by him. Although her mother loved her father, her first love was with a handsome black dock worker, Nilton. Carmen’s mother Mariana, despite being black herself, because of her own bad outcome and heartbreak in a relationship, and her desire to climb socially, did not want her daughter’s involved with black men. Against her mother’s wishes, Carmen fell heavy and hard for the gentle and handsome Nilton. Grandmother Mariana would not approve of the relationship and threatened to cut Carmen off, if she continued to see Nilton. After a frustrating period, Carmen finally relented and broke off the relationship. She soon met the handsome blonde hair, blue-eyed son of a Swiss banker, Sergio. Sergio was struck by the beautiful biracial brown-skinned Carmen and wanted very much to marry her. Although her relationship with Nilton had ended, she still had strong emotional ties to her first love. She became pregnant with Raquel months after they began dating. Sergio pressed the issue of marriage to Carmen repeatedly, only to be put off each time. They maintained a happy home for years and welcomed two other children, Nando and Izabel. After years of staying away, Nilton resurfaced only to spark the same emotion in Carmen that he did 10 years ago. Unable to resist each other, the two former lovers found themselves sneaking away at every opportunity to be together. Nilton began to press Carmen to be with him, but she felt a bond to Sergio, the father of her three children.
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I’m having a hard time even thinking of Dylan and Helena not together. Yet some thing you do come back and bite you in the butt. Dylan just got bit. I dont doubt Dylan love for Helena,but Raquel is looking for love with Helena,yet I believe that Dylan is looking to forever. thanks
What the Fu yck,yck, yuckkkkkkkkkk Squirl thats the killing kind of love, why don’t you just give them both a rope right now.
Stop reading Md. You are torturing yourself. I’ll let you know when its safe to come back
An hour in the snow in 15F weather and I’m still sheading blood tears, thanks for the heads up, glad your feeling well enough to torture me. Sorry I forgot to say Thank you so Thank you, Md
Love is like a rumor,
Everyone talks about it,
But no one truly knows.
A part of you has grown in me.
And so you see,
it’s you and me
Together forever and never apart,
Maybe in distance, but never in heart.
~ by Anonymous ~
Honestly I don’t think Helena has a any idea of what love is. Her comment about being move from boarding school to boarding school and not seeing her parents sealed it for me. Helena has been alone all her life and is afraid she will end up that way so when ever someone shows her some attention she clings to them. Dylan seems to know Helena more then Helena knows herself. I don’t condone Dylan taking the letter but Helena has given her reason not to trust her. She keeps throwing Dylan’s mistakes back in her face but she continues to lie to Dylan about her feelings for Raquel and that display she and Raquel put on in the club was very disrespectful. Back in Atlanta Helena tells Dylan how can she trust her with her ex=assistant but then tell Dylan she needs to trust her when it comes to Raquel someone Dylan knows Helena still have feelings for. At this point I think Dylan should just walk away and finds someone she don’t have so much baggage with and can trust. I really tried to like and understand Helena in this story but she has come across as selfish and hypocritical, everything is about her. I truly can’t tell if she loves these two women or if she’s in love with them loving her. Then again maybe Helena should just forget about both women and go f*ck Bette. :-)
Per retroboogie, “Then again maybe Helena should just forget about both women and go f*ck Bette. :-) “…..Oh my diehard Belena fan club co-member, it was very tempting to take Helena down that road, but I had to stay true to the Dylena reconcilliation story I started writing. Even Raquel was supposed to be a side figure but she samba’d her cute little ass into the mix to really give Dylan a run for her money and Helena a test of committment….You and JC’s assessment of Helena is true…She is sticking with the sure and easy thing…Really no mystery there…She tells Dylan that’s why she chose her. Dylan despite her flaws is the only one taking chances and pushing the limits so to speak. Think about it, she really is pretty brave to stick around under the circumstances but its in her nature, she’s learned intestinal fortitude to tackle tough subjects. This time to tough subject is her love of Helena…Their story won’t end when I story writing it…I’ll just stop writing it….It’s up to all the readers to use their imaginations and see where their fantasies take them…Dylena, Raqlena, Belena..Hel-someone-elsena….
Squirl… I want a Helena – Helena scene… have you ever done one… I mean… Helena taking care of Helena can we have an interlude between this and next post (cause I dont’ want it to end) and you can give us an NC-17 Helena taking care of Helena chappy I would be eternally grateful… THUD… love and hugs, JC
I am trying so hard to stay away but am having a horrible time of it, at this point I just want to say, JC I don’t know if they will let you on the plane with that. Have a great trip, go to a club, see if they have any Eva’s there. Kiss out, Md
It could be my birthday gift from yesterday huh huh… yeah way to plug JC… so yeah about that chappy… no one could do it better… THUD… damn… love and hugs, JC
JC!!!! OMFG!!! Helena on Helena action!!!I’m blushing on that one….Sorry you probably won’t see that before this story ends….But it certainly is an interesting thought of how Helena might get to “know” and “love” herself when she doesn’t have anyone else getting to know and love her….I am your red faced and suddenly wordless writer and friend….
Now you had to give me a BD request…You are such a man…I’m still in shock…..I’m sure I’ve written a brief self-love scene somewhere…I have to think, think, think
hopeing she’s not noticed lurking around, thinking maybe a one off or MAYBE Dylan finds Helena with a fasion magazine with a few Raquel pics in it. dodododooooooo, dadadadadadaaaaaaa,HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIL BRO.
I love it! It is hard and has a rawness to it in a way, but is sooo good! I don’t think I ever have personally or even read or seen that much discussion about an ex…in that context. It actually was a bit uncomfortable in a way…about Dylan’s voiced insecurity…then again, I can only respect her honesty (here at least). I think the only challenge is that it keeps opening up that emotion for Helena…which is dangerous… I agree that all of the ladies (as many people do) have an issue with love (thank you for the additional backstory on Raquel, btw) because of their history….Raquel is a afraid of it, Helena wants assurance of it, and Dylan…wants assurance through controlling it. Further, it does feel as though Helena is settling…because what I really hear her saying is that if she had the same “assurance” with Raquel as she does with Dylan, she would choose Raquel…hard pill to swallow…and maybe she really does need time and space….Whelp, there is still an opening for the girl from Ipanema. I think I may go listen to the song and do a rain dance for her speedy return! lol! PPS!
I know everyone has their favorite girl they hope Helena ends up with but honestly I don’t want Helena with either because she has trust issues with both women and that’s not good. Both relationships started the same way sexual and has continued that way. When the sex stop Helena seems kinda distance. The only time I felt Helena’s emotions were genuine outside of sex is when she’s with her friends. Instead of following her intincts nad heart she stick around because she likes the fact that both women are in love with her and that’s something Helena has always wanted…to be loved. I feel sorry for Helena because she will settle for anyone in fear of being alone. The baggage in this triangle has proven to much and it might be better if everyone walk away and start anew. I just want Helena to find and connect with someone on an emotional and verbal level and stop using sex as a stepping stone.
Good point retroboogie….I have a couple of Helena centered stories in mind where the sex is not the starting point of the relationship…But you know you can’t blame a girl for getting her carnal needs met….;-)
I don’t know if pain killers are effecting you in a way in which you didn’t know the Super Bowl has started, but it has and if memory serves correctly we were promised the next installment before tip off. I must say however if your having a good time writing Raqus into a better place you just take your time and make it reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy good. Please note I haven’t worked out today because I might need my kicking/punching equipment for my pent up anger. Have yourself a lovely evening Squirl. Md
Md sweetie..I think its more than your anger that’s pent up….XOXOXOXOX from Raqus to you…
Hey Squirl, I’ve been a silent reader since the begining, I love this story, your a kick ass writer annnnd I want Helena and Raquel to be together..make it happen…Please? lol
Nobody is happy. I’ll make this promise. One day, everybody will get their wish, especially you Md, but its still is not safe to come back. ;-D
How did I know you would torture me with Helena finding out about Dylan’s deceit with the note? I totally loved Dylan’s come back about Helena not being honest with herself. Not only was it accurate – it seemed to lessen the impact of Dylan’s deceit. I was expecting Helena to walk away – she at least remained for further discussion. Helena is in love with both of these women – at the same time. Both provide her with a deep sense of fulfillment but in completely different ways. Raquel wants Helena to come to her — without further enticement on her part. Dylan wants a commitment and a sense of security about the future. I don’t think either of these women will end up getting what they fully want. I’m waiting to see where Helena’s heart leads her… Great stuff, Squirl!
Hello My Most Passionate Friend…
Ok… one little note for Raquel… yes that is quite a sob story a very very heart felt story of how her life has come to be where it is at this moment in time but unfortunately why the ‘F*ck’ didn’t she tell Helena this… why did she not admit in the beginning to being in ‘love’ with Helena…
So yeah Dylan is scared of Helena’s love and so is Raquel… so in the end who is the one person that creates this fear this tension… for Raquel is was the fact that Helena reminded her so much of her mother ‘Carmen’ how she could not choose between those two men she loved and she got killed because of it…
You have already given away so much in your responses so far as to the ultimate fate of Dylan and the fact that she is not deserving of Helena’s love in the sense that you are guiding us to believe that in the end no matter what happens or why these things might happen ‘Helena’ will end up with Raquel…
Actually that isn’t to hard to discern as Helena hasn’t left very much for Dylan to hold onto… all of Dylan’s uncertainty and trust issues all revolve around how easy it is for Helena pulling the other shoe dropping story… yes did Dylan tear up the note that professed another woman was in ‘love’ with the woman she was in ‘love’ with… yes… was it right… NOOOOOO… did Dylan do it because it was wrong NOOOOO… she did it because she was scared…
So please anyone and everyone tell me did Dylan have a right to fear that another woman has already captured and still holds onto the heart of the woman she calls her ‘lover’ and might take her away… actually does Dylan have any rights what so ever…
So I’m also confused Helena showed more passion when it came to Dylan’s discussion about fashion magazines and orchids and didn’t’ seem to really understand how they might bring back certain memories for her lover then she did at the potential that Dylan might die doing the work she does…
Her need for Dylan to stay home and ‘be safe’ seemed placated and emotionless… like Helena was thinking I don’t really give a rats ass but I might as well do my ‘duties’ and make it look like I care; “Good. I want you to promise after your next trip to Africa and you wrap up this project, you’ll take on some tamer projects, like, wine making in the Napa Valley, best beaches around LA, you know mundane things like that.” – Squirl (Page 4 Paragraph 14)
Did you not just spend these past few weeks supporting her in her pursuit of this project that won her an Oscar and now you want to placate her… is it because you love her or your afraid to lose the lime light… are you truly afraid she can be hurt… or are you just doing your duty cause they levity you gave and lack of respect you gave her desires and passions certainly show that Helena doesn’t truly understand who Dylan is because of “her”… because of ‘Helena’…
So the ending leads to some heavy thoughts about Trust… that scene and the repercussions for Helena being with Raquel reminds me of a certain scene where Bette was left alone with a certain Tina… but that is another story all together ;) ;)… I personally don’t believe that Helena would have been strong enough to resist her ever showing feelings for Raquel… I think that temptation and truth would have surfaced…
Helena needs to come to some realization… maybe she is ‘Not’ in ‘Love’ with Dylan but she is afraid to leave her ‘first’ love… the first person that showed her that she can and might deserve love… I think she is using Dylan as a safety net… it is a lot easier to pretend you are ‘in’ love with someone you have been ‘in’ love with… then to push forward and discover you have and can find ‘love’ on your own…
Raquel is who Helena truly loves… Dylan is who showed her she can be loved… those are the parallels I come back to… its kind of like Dylan is the prototype let’s Helena work out how this love thing works so she can one day make full use of it… cause she in her heart and soul knows that Dylan besides her faults… flaws… and insecurities has always loved her… Dylan said as my in the video message she left before she left two years ago… Dylan said it in the video message she left on that disk not to long ago… and Dylan continues to say it… she will never get over Helena… but I believe that Helena is starting to get over Dylan and that is what is scaring her… she doesn’t know how to go… to leave in fear that love wont’ be there for her on the other side… as it is there right now… she can hold it and scream at it… but if she walks past that threshold will it still be on the other side… that is her fear…
You my most amazing passionate friend continue to blow me away… I have made a decision I’m taking you with my on my vacation to the Dominican I’m going to take this story and I’m going to give it a proper ‘Dissertation’ cause you never know when you might need some side notes when you go a head and sell the story and become a world famous writer…
Love and Hugs,
Always and Forever,
JC (Latin Nephew to those Salsa Angels and the ever loving Cuzzie to the ever talented Eunichick and Personal Fanner to the Incredibly Talent Deean)
So, uh, is this how you work out your post-surgical pain? By torturing Helena and Dylan and Raquel and the readers? Hmmmm??? I hope you’re feeling better. For all our sakes.
woman, r u deliberately torturing me here? this is excruciating and as for Dylan and the note, shyt shyt shyt….cuz Helena has 2 extremely damaged scared women in-love with her…maybe she should steer them onto crazy Jenny and go find someone else?! No, I kid u! U made me believe in Raquel, like Raquel, empsthoze with Raquel whereas Dylan??? afraid not. I just don’t ‘feel’ it. I didn’t 2 years ago and I don’t now no matter how hard u try to write her sympathetically. So ‘NEXT’ !!!!!!!
Amazing as always…wow so much is going on now im at a loss for words i dont know what 2 say.other than Dylan you were stupid and naive to take the note but at least you can own upto that now.Wow wow wow Squirl great job.Maybe if Racquel had opened up her heart to Eliana things would be different now.
Hello My Amazing Friend… I do remember that Helena has shown her fears and discomfort towards to harsh nature of Dylan’s work… and I can see the playful banter between them as they are both a little loose as it were… my only concern and I wasn’t really clear is… yes it is about ‘control’ and her is a fun little show of them both trying to exert some form of control over each other… hmmmmm that does sound like two lovers trying to come together… I think they need to shelve the anger and mistrust and sit down and come to a compromise… and yes I figure you are misleading us my friend… cause you are so good at that slight of mind thing… like I mentioned Helena uses it… so do you in your writing… and that is one of the true gems of your writing… and I could go on forever about your gifts… its that you give substance and layers to each characters emotions… you never leave it at the evident emotions… you dig and push deeper you show us just how layered their emotional pathways are… I can’t really explain it clearly but in the end it is your layering and your delicate weaving of complex and simple emotions that make each character so vibrant so powerful in their own rights… trust me you are a gift… love and hugs, JC
JC, Wow…I’ll comment that the initial discussion sbout the orchids, fashion mags, mundane documentaries, Beyonce etc was playful banter… Helena had already expressed fear about Dylan’s work. This fear caused Dylan to 1. change some travel plans, 2. buy her a promise ring….Helena is very, very, very much afraid of Dylan’s safety…She might not be beating Dylan over the head with it since she knows DYlan is doing what she loves to do and if you read the answer to your Why does she love Dylan question, Helena loves that she takes on tough topics. She admires her for this. THis was and is part of Dylan’s appeal……Helena later questions, after she knows Dylan got rid of the note, whether the other requests about orhids and mags was about an attempt to control her….. Sore subject for Helena since old mummy, then the Catwoman controlled her…She’s not trying to jump in again and really throws the kitchen sink at Dylan…Yes trust is THE issue for this chapter…nuf said.I haven’t hidden that this arm is the Dylena arm. I just never said it would be easy for them….Any hints to Helena eventually ending with Raquel is purely *cough* speculative….I can guarantee you this, no hints, when this story ends it will be clear who Helena is with….Anything else is another story…I’m thrilled you are taking this story on vacation with you…I’ll be updating little things here and there so you might see a few differences that does not affect the underlying story or ending, just a need to clarify, embellish or smooth out…Thanks for reading….