I messed up big time and she won’t talk to me. No scratch that she won’t even talk to me, look at me, or better yet have anything to do with me. I don’t even know how to begin in order to get her to forgive me. It’s been almost a month and I haven’t even been able to get close to her to even tell her that I want to be with her. To tell her that Mark and I are over and she is the one I want, no matter what Phyllis thinks that I am head over heels in love. To make it even worse I think her and Jenny are together because Jenny has been a royal pain in my ass ever since that  day I last spoke with Shane, every little mistake I make she broadcasts to the whole class and has a laugh at my expense. Shane who used to stand up for me now just sits there as if she can see right through me, like I am insignificant or even worse invisible to her.

Carmen: Ms. McCutcheon I would like to see you after class?

Shane answers me without shifting her eyes from the spot on the wall she seems so interested in.

Shane: I can’t Ms. Morales I have something else to do after class.

Jenny laughs and I shot her a death stare. The whole class is focused on Shane and I. I can the feel the wheels turning in their heads but I don’t care anymore. I feel reckless and even worse desperate, I have to make her see it’s urgent but she won’t even look at me. I try another tactic. I get close to her desk and bend my body over so now we are eye to eye at least we would be if she would just look at me. She doesn’t even refocus her gaze and my tactic has failed.

Carmen: May I ask what?

Shane: I have an appointment with Headmaster Kroll.

My heart is beating wildly out of my chest. What does she have to talk to Phyllis about? I spend the remainder of the class trying not to think about what her meeting may be about. The bell rings and they get up to leave. I stand by the door so I can catch Shane before she leaves.