Chapter 26

Carmen ran after Shane. After a fistful of seconds, she regained control of her own limbs and sprinted out of the restroom.

Shane was fending off the crowd, she was literally cutting it like a blade, her head bowed, her pace rigid and quick, and tears secretly hidden behind her narrowed eyes.

Carmen saw her, saw her black pants and blazer, saw the black of her corvine hair, the paleness of her hands, as if Shane was the only black and white person in all that colored mess. She saw her and tried to reach for her, but Shane was rapid, she was feline, and she seemed almost liquid as she kept on stepping away.

Panting and shaking, as tears threatened to fall, as questions kept filling up her mind

– Why? Why are you doing this to me? What’s happened? How? How can it be?

Carmen forced her way through faceless people, and the more she struggled, the more Shane seemed to be always a step farther

– at the farther end of Carmen’s life, world, soul, and yet so invincibly locked into her heart that it hurt.

“Shane!”, she called out, her voice loud and trembling.

“Shane, for Christ’s sake!”.

Shane heard her and winced, deeply, the features of her beautiful face contorted, but she didn’t turn around.

She grabbed the doorknob of the main entrance and went out, in the dark.

”This is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die
But it’s over
Just hear this and then I’ll go
You gave me more to live for
More than you’ll ever know…”

And Carmen was there, too, on the sidewalk, right behind her. Only a couple of seconds had passed, but Shane felt like she had been there, all alone

– all alone, we’re all alone, we’re all alone

for centuries. And when Carmen’s hand grabbed her by the elbow, she jolted.

And she couldn’t help it, she had to turn around and face her, even if she didn’t want to, even if that was definitely the hardest thing to do: watch the woman she truly loved into the eyes, see the pain on her face, and tell her

– lie to her. Tell her your lies, Shane, tell her your fucking lie and leave already –