Chapter 27

Fifteen days later

It hasn’t been easy, Shane thought to herself. It isn’t fucking easy, fuck, she thought again as she drove away from her latest conquest’s house.

Her whole body was sore after an entire night of meaningless sex that had left her exhausted but completely unfulfilled. In fact, Shane had a terrible headache and her temples pulsed as she pushed the gas pedal deeper, angrily.

The previous night had been her first night of sex with a woman that wasn’t Carmen. And Shane hadn’t been able to forget about that for a single second.

She had picked her up at the Planet – she really didn’t want to have Helena’s eyes pointed at her at DEW, especially at night, when her hunger for love and proximity with another human being would become unbearable – and she had fucked her until she was breathless. Then, she had let her sleep for a while, just to fuck her another few times a couple of hours later.

Just killing time.

Just killing myself, Shane thought and gritted her teeth, hard.

Shane felt Mesozoic. She was back in the cave, emotionless and broody, with the clear intention of fucking everyone with a pulse. And she had never been so unhappy in her entire life.

Roxanne’s memory had haunted her for years and Shane was sure that nothing, in the world, would ever remotely compare to the pain she had been feeling after her.

She was wrong.

The void left by Carmen was ten thousand times worse, and maybe it was still an understatement.

Carmen was nowhere to be found, by the way. Carmen had called Shane for days, after the opening, and Shane had never picked up the phone. She had left messages on her voice mail, messages that Shane had listened to, fists clenched, tears in her eyes, not a single word in her mouth. Shane had never called back.

Eventually, Carmen had probably decided to give up and Shane had taken her former lover’s silence as a small, filthy, wicked victory. After all, even Carmen was starting to think that Shane wasn’t worth her time.

Again, she was wrong.

”Please, please forgive me
But I won’t be home again
Maybe someday you’ll look up
And barely conscious, you’ll say to no one
Isn’t something missing…”