Chapter 29

Shane leaned her head back and rested it against the cold whiteness of the bath tube. She exhaled a long, long sigh and closed her eyes, her arms hanging loosely, her whole body exhausted and – this time – finally fulfilled.

Beside the bath tube, there was Carmen.

She was sitting on the floor, wrapped in a black bathrobe, her long hair still wet and a sweet look into her eyes.

She took a sponge, plunged it into the hot, soapy water and then brushed it gently on Shane’s head. Shane smiled, in silence, and enjoyed the feeling of Carmen taking care of her.

Then Carmen started bathing her slowly and accurately, in a mixture of adoration and compassion – compassion as in its most literal form: suffering with another. She couldn’t see the look behind Shane’s closed eyelids. Shane used to close her eyes so often, to hide them, her eyelids like shutters rolled down to cover her pain.

But Carmen would read what was beyond appearance. It was a talent, it was a curse, and it was definitely useful when it came to Shane. Carmen was fighting against the urgency she would feel deep inside her heart, and against outbursts of rage that she would usually be unable to contain. She had learned that Shane needed silence and serenity.

Yelling and stomping feet? No, definitely not a good move with McCutcheon.

They had been making love for almost the whole night

– crazy love, passionate love, sweet love, intense love, meaningful love that had crossed every barrier –

and at 3 o’clock in the morning, both feeling worn out and breathless, they had finally decided to take a bath together. After a while, Carmen had stepped out of the tube wordlessly, and had started bathing – and observing – Shane.

She thought about the sex they had just made.

Shane had seemed defenseless and completely open, but had been almost totally unable to speak. Even now, she looked as if she was contemplating something from a purely mental point of view. And Carmen realized that it wasn’t enough. Not anymore. Not for her.

“Shane…”, she murmured, gently.

Slowly, Shane opened her eyes and watched her. The light in the bathroom was dim, but her green eyes were strangely shining.