Tina squeezed her eyes tightly shut as she hurried out the final part of her statement, in an attempt to deflect the anger she suspected it would elicit from Bette.

She awaited the onslaught but was met only with a gentle sigh as she felt the brunette’s finger-tips resume their soothing motion in her palm.

This reassured Tina enough to relax and open her eyes.

“Hey” Bette gently greeted her

“Hey” Tina responded hesitantly.

Bette sought out Tina’s gaze and fixed it. “Tee, I know it’s scary, I’m scared too”

“You didn’t seem scared yesterday” Tina blurted out

Bette regarded the woman before her with a puzzled expression trying to figure out what in particular she was referring to.

Tina watched as Bette tried to work it out but at this hour of the morning she didn’t have the patience to let her do it for herself.

“Yesterday by the pool, what you said about Angie having a brother or sister” Tina reminded her.

At the time when Bette had uttered the words Tina had felt panic.   She had been sharing such a tender moment with Bette which she didn’t want to ruin but the comment had thrown her.  As far as Tina was concerned they hadn’t really had any of the difficult conversations that were required since getting back together.  Tina was choosing to put this down to the fact that they had both been so busy, she with the movie and Bette with dealing with Jodi and her so called show. 

However Bette’s comment yesterday had made her suddenly wonder whether the other woman even thought there was anything to talk about.

“Oh, that” Bette responded in an unreadable tone

“Listen Bette, it’s not like I don’t want Angie to have a little brother or sister but we have only just got back together and I’m not sure we are ready to be rushing into something of that magnitude”

“I’m sorry” Bette offered averting her eyes from Tina’s.

Tina could see the hurt.  This was part of what she was afraid of.  She was afraid that her love for this woman would once again become so consuming that she would trust it to carry them through without doing the hard work.  This time they had to be more aware of the pitfalls and that made it scary.

“It’s just I can’t help it” Bette continued.

“Can’t help what?” Tina enquired

“Tee, I know you’re right.  I know we have a history that suggests this might not be smooth sailing.  I know we have lots to talk about, I know there are lots of things that we need to do differently this time.  The problem is, when I’m with you, physically when you’re here beside me it’s like I said to you that day in the elevator, it feels like I’m home.  All the things that worry me, all the things that scare me, when I’m with you they seem so insignificant, all I can think about is the life I want with you.”

This declaration earned the brunette a wry grin from Tina.

“I’m not quite sure how it’s possible, but that was equal parts the completely wrong answer and the perfect thing to say”