Previously

“Tee, I know you’re right.  I know we have a history that suggests this might not be smooth sailing.  I know we have lots to talk about, I know there are lots of things that we need to do differently this time.  The problem is, when I’m with you, physically when you’re here beside me it’s like I said to you that day in the elevator, it feels like I’m home.  All the things that worry me, all the things that scare me, when I’m with you they seem so insignificant, all I can think about is the life I want with you.”

This declaration earned the brunette a wry grin from Tina.

“I’m not quite sure how it’s possible, but that was equal parts the completely wrong answer and the perfect thing to say”

Bette tilted her head to the side and regarded Tina.  “Hmm” she mused “if I reminded you that I love you would it be a little less wrong and a little more perfect?”

Tina chuckled and laid her hand on the side of Bette’s face before leaning forward and kissing her gently.  Pulling away slowly she shook her head and said “Declarations of love and the cute head tilt…that’s not playing fair!”

With the tension slowly easing Bette leaned back in the seat and encouraged the blonde into her arms.  She inter-twined their fingers and kissed the top of Tina’s head. 

“So, is that what had you so worried?  Thinking that I just wanted to rush into another baby?”

Tina felt herself begin to unwind for the first time on this hectic evening as she rested her head on Bette’s chest listening to the reassuring beating of her heart. 

“That’s part of it.  It’s not specifically the baby thing though” Tina mused as she snaked her free hand around Bette’s back and absent mindedly began tracing patterns on the soft patch of skin above her pyjama bottoms.

“I mean a couple of days ago we were having a tentative conversation about where we are going to live and then suddenly we’re not even talking about we’re just assuming there’ll be another baby.”

Tina could feel Bette tense slightly underneath her. 

“I’m moving too fast for you?” Bette enquired confusion evident in her voice.

“No…Yes…I mean no…God Bette I don’t know.  It’s just I’m so scared.  I remember how it was the last time we got back together.  Nothing discussed, old wounds washed over, we could have been living in a circus there were so many elephants in the room.”

At these words Tina felt Bette take a long slow deep breath in.

“You’re right.  It is the same thing all over again”

“What?” Tina exclaimed in surprise.  “You think this is the same as the last time?” she continued as she sat up suddenly facing the brunette.

Bette saw the anguish in Tina’s eyes and set about removing it quickly. 

“No Tee.  I don’t think it’s the same as the last time.  I don’t think it’s anything like the last time.  I just meant that I can see myself doing the same thing again.  It’s like we’re standing on a precipice and there’s a rickety old bridge we could use to get across, but we’d have to work together, trust each other and take it slowly. Or, I could just close my eyes, grab your hand and jump.  Up until now I suppose I’ve been a jumper.”

“Up until now I’ve seen the bottom of too many precipices” Tina replied earnestly “We have to give the rickety old bridge a shot or we’re never going to make it to the other side”

“I know” Bette whispered as she once again took Tina in her arms.    They sat there in silence for a few moments each contemplating their own thoughts.

“Tee?”

“Yeah Babe”

“You’re right.”

“About what?”

“This, it really is scary.”